All these things paled in comparison to an unexpected call I received from Sean on Thursday night. I was shocked to see his number come up on my Caller I.D. I had erased his contact information from my phone, but ten years was long enough to know his number by heart.
"It's Sean," I said to Jackson. We had been sitting on the couch watching TV when he called. Jackson's mouth tightened at my announcement.
"Why would he be calling you?"
"I don't know. I haven't talked to him since I left Maryland. Are you okay if I answer it?" I didn't want to answer it, but I found it hard to ignore Sean. He had been a part of my life for so long and I was the one who had hurt him.
Jackson nodded shortly, looking unhappy.
"Hello?" I said cautiously, answering the phone right before it went to voicemail.
"Emma, is that you?" It was a shock to hear Sean's voice after all these months, but I was even more surprised that his words were slurred. Sean had never been a big drinker, but he definitely sounded drunk now.
"Yes, Sean. It's me."
"I've been thinking about you, Emma."
"Sean, why are you calling me?"
"I'm calling you because you're supposed to be my wife. We're supposed to be married now. Didn't you know?"
My throat tightened and I felt sick to my stomach. The fact that his words were slurred didn't lessen their impact.
"Sean, how much have you had to drink? Where are you right now?"
"I'm where we used to go parking. Remember, Emma? Remember when we used to park by that big oak tree and you told me you would love me forever? I didn't know forever would be over so quick."
I felt physical pain at his words. As much as I wanted to protest, I couldn't. I had said those words to him. Even though they were the foolish words of a teenager, I had known even then that I hadn't meant them. Yet I had made Sean believe them.
"Sean, you're in no condition to drive. I'm going to call Trisha and get her to give you a ride home. Hold on."
I looked at Jackson, whose jaw looked like it was made out of granite. I covered the mouthpiece of my cell phone so Sean couldn't hear me. "Can I use your phone? Sean is drunk and I'm afraid he'll try to drive."
Jackson handed me his cell phone wordlessly and I dialed Trisha's number. Trisha had been my best friend since middle school, but she had taken sides after I had broken my engagement. And the side she had chosen wasn't mine. It had hurt badly when she abandoned me and we hadn't spoken since, but I didn't know who else to turn to.
"Hello?"
"Trisha? It's Emma. I need your help."
"Why do you think I would help you?" she replied, her tone considerably frostier than when she had answered the phone, not knowing it was me.
"It's not for me. It's for Sean. He called me drunk and I think he's on Troyer Way, by the big oak tree. Can you go pick him up and take him to his mother's house? I'm afraid he's going to try to drive and kill himself or someone else."
She sighed heavily and I was afraid that she would refuse. "Fine. But I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Sean. I'm leaving now."
Trisha hung up abruptly and I put my cell phone back to my ear. "Sean, are you still there?"
"I've always been here. The question is, where are you?"
"Trisha is on her way to pick you up. Just stay put, okay? You shouldn't be driving right now."
Sean started talking, but I couldn't understand what he was saying because his speech became garbled. But I didn't want to hang up on him in case he tried to start driving. I looked at Jackson apologetically, but I didn't say anything. The last thing I needed was for Sean to hear another man's voice and go off the deep end. Jackson didn't say anything either, watching me with unreadable eyes. I was dreading the conversation we would have after I got off the phone.
Merrittsville was a small town and I heard Trisha's voice in the background after about ten minutes, although it felt like hours with Jackson staring at me. Sean had been talking nonsense while we waited, so I was saved from having to say much in response.
"I'm here," Trisha said abruptly into the phone. Then the line went dead.
"I'm sorry about that," I said after taking a deep breath. "I was just afraid that he would try to drive drunk."
"I'm not going to lie, Emma. Seeing you talk to the man you used to be engaged to doesn't make me feel good. In fact, it makes me feel pretty shitty."
I moved closer to him, taking his hand in mine. "I know, Jackson. I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed. But I didn't know what else to do."
Jackson sighed, pulling me close and wrapping an arm around me. "I don't want to sound like a crazy jealous boyfriend. But right now, I feel like a crazy jealous boyfriend."
"He just called me because he was drunk. I'll probably never hear from him again."
Jackson nodded but he still looked tense. I pulled his head down, kissing him thoroughly and pouring all my love into the kiss.
"You know I love you, Jackson. There's no one else for me."
I felt the tension leave Jackson's body. "I love you so much, sweetheart."
We showed each other how much we loved each other with our bodies, my body reassuring Jackson in a way my words couldn't.
Friday was full of frenetic energy since we were flying out Sunday because Jackson had to be on set the following Monday to do read-throughs. Fortunately, I had organized every facet of the move since I had no job to occupy my time, so when Saturday morning rolled around, we had nothing to do except relax and anticipate our flight the next day. We decided to spend our last day in New York having a picnic in Central Park, just like we had when we first started dating.
"When do you think we'll be back here?" I asked, gazing at the perfectly blue sky. I was lying down with my head in Jackson's lap, his hand slowly stroking my hair and making me feel utterly relaxed.
"It could be a while," Jackson replied. "I'm hoping that this movie is the start of bigger and better things to come. I just hope I don't mess it up. They're taking a big risk with casting an unknown in the lead part. An unknown without much experience."
It was odd to hear Jackson's doubts about himself since he was usually so confident. I grasped his hand that was stroking my hair and turned my head towards it, gently kissing his palm. "You're going to be amazing, Jackson. I have no doubt about that."
"What if I'm not?"
I looked up at Jackson who was watching me, his green eyes serious. "What if I'm not and we're moving to California for no reason? What if I never succeed as an actor? I could handle that, but I couldn't handle you being disappointed in me."