“That’s not an answer.”
“It’s the only one I have for you. Most people wouldn’t have gotten that out of me. I have to go.”
“Wait,” Ben found himself saying.
“No. I have to go.” Dante didn’t continue speaking but he didn’t hang up either, so Ben waited. It was a good minute before Dante spoke again. “Did you eat?”
It was a strange question but Ben answered it anyway. “No.”
“Order a meal. Eat at least half of it. Get whatever sleep you can. If you do that, you can call me back tomorrow night. If not, don’t bother. Don’t lie to me, either.”
Dante hung up the phone and Ben didn’t move. He sat naked, in the chair, arguing with himself, fighting with himself on what he would do. Finally, after at least an hour, he picked up the phone and ordered takeout.
He put on a pair of sweats while he waited for it to arrive. He forced down half of his Chinese food, before he went back to the chair, and closed his eyes.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“Did you eat?” Dante asked when Ben called the next night. He waited until midnight, though he wasn’t sure why.
“Would I be calling if I hadn’t?” Ben countered and Dante tsked at him.
“Don’t speak to me like that again. It’s a simple question that requires a simple yes or no answer.”
The hairs on the back of Ben’s neck rose. It was on the tip of his tongue to lash out. To ask Dante who in the fuck he thought he was. Ben could speak to him however he wanted but then, the man was only asking him if he’d eaten. Was it really that big a deal to answer him? “Yes. I ordered Chinese.”
“What about sleep?”
“Some. Not much.”
“Some is a good start. Have you gotten an erection?”
The question made Ben’s hand tighten on his cell phone. This felt like an interrogation, and that hadn’t been what he called for. “You aren’t my doctor or my lover, which means you have no reason to ask me that.”
The line went dead. It took everything in Ben not to call him back right away. Christ, what did Dante expect? It wasn’t as though he wanted to talk about his problem with anyone. No man would. Dante should understand that. He shouldn’t even have fucking asked him.
The seconds stretched into minutes. Ben’s pulse got louder with each beat. His leg bounced up and down as the minutes passed. When thirteen minutes had gone by, he called again. “Are you going to do something about it?” he asked as soon as Dante answered. “About my hard on?”
“Why are you calling? What do you want from me, Ben? You nearly got yourself killed, or could have easily hurt someone else the other night. You want destruction. I don’t. I told you we weren’t going to fuck. You assured me you don’t want to. You assured me you’re a top, anyway, as am I. Then you admit to me you can’t come and can’t stay hard, both of which I made you do. I gave that to you, Ben. I told you to jack yourself off, and you did. I told you to come, and you did. Why do you think that is? And now you argue with everything I ask you. I can’t force you to listen to your own body. We’re wasting time if you refuse to answer my simple questions.”
This time it was Ben who almost hung up, but damned if everything Dante just said didn’t continue to play through his head. If it didn’t somehow settle some of the questions and the ache inside him. Dante was right. He had given Ben something the other night. Release.
He’d given him something last night as well: peace.
Not constant peace but Ben would take whatever he could get. Maybe this was somehow what he needed. He’d always used fucking and then that stopped working. He’d used domination and whips and flogs before they stopped working as well. Maybe, now he just needed this...needed to let go.
He closed his eyes. Dropped his head backward and took a deep breath. “I get hard at times but I can’t keep it. I can’t make myself come and I don’t always get an erection when I want one.”
“Thank you. Was that so hard?”
Ben chuckled humorlessly. “Yes, actually, it was. Would you want to talk about your sexual inabilities with another man?”
Instead of answering Ben’s question, Dante said, “You need to take care of yourself. That will help.”
He was done talking about his dick for the moment. Ben had questions of his own. “How far do you take it? You said yes and no when I asked about sex. What do you like?” Ben didn’t want to think about why he asked that question. Would he really consider letting Dante dominate over him? Would he let Dante whip him and control him the way Ben had played in the clubs?