I couldn't bear to talk to anybody that night. I sat by myself in a seat high up in the football stadium while the show was in progress, thinking about Annie and her child, Mum and Dad, all that I'd lost and missed out on. For the first time in years I felt angry with Mr Crepsley for blooding me. I found myself wondering what life would be like if he'd left me alone, wishing I could go back and change the past.
But there was no point tormenting myself. The past was a closed book. I could do nothing to alter it, and wasn't even sure I would if I could - if I hadn't been blooded, I wouldn't have been able to tip the vampires off about Kurda Smahlt, and the entire clan might have fallen.
If I'd returned home ten or twelve years earlier, my feelings of loss and anger might have been stronger. But I was an adult now, in all but looks. A Vampire Prince. I'd learnt to deal with heartache. That wasn't an easy night. Tears flowed freely. But by the time I drifted off to sleep a few hours before dawn, I'd resigned myself to the situation, and knew there would be no fresh tears in the morning.
I was stiff with the cold when I awoke, but worked it off by jogging down the tiers of the stadium to where the Cirque was camped. As I was making for the tent I shared with Harkat, I spotted Mr Tall. He was standing by an open fire, roasting sausages on a spit. He beckoned me over and threw a handful of sausages to me, then speared a fresh batch and stuck them over the flames.
"Thanks," I said, eagerly munching the piping-hot sausages.
"I knew you would be hungry," he replied. He looked at me steadily. "You have been to see your sister."
"Yes." It didn't surprise me that he knew. Mr Tall was an insightful old owl.
"Did she see you?" Mr Tall asked.
"She saw me briefly, but I left before she got a good look."
"You behaved correctly." He turned the sausages over and spoke softly. "You are about to ask me if I will help protect your sister. You fear for her safety."
"Harkat thinks something's going to happen," I said. "He's not sure what, but if Steve Leopard's part of it, he might use Annie to hurt me."
"He won't," Mr Tall said. I was surprised by his directness - normally he was very cagey when it came to revealing anything about the future. "As long as you stay out of her life, your sister will be under no direct threat."
"What aboutin direct threat?" I asked warily.
Mr Tall chuckled. "We are all under indirect threat, one way or another. Harkat is correct - this is a time and place of destiny. I can say no more about it, except leave your sister alone. She is safe that way."
"OK," I sighed. I wasn't happy about leaving Annie to fend for herself, but I trusted Hibernius Tall.
"You should sleep some more now," Mr Tall said. "You are tired."
That sounded like a good plan. I scoffed another sausage, turned to leave, then stopped. "Hibernius," I said without facing him, "I know you can't tell me what's going to happen, but before we came here, you said I didn't have to come. It would have been better if I'd stayed away, wouldn't it?"
There was a long silence. I didn't think he was going to respond. But then, softly, he said, "Yes."
"What if I left now?"
"It is too late," Mr Tall said. "Your decision to return set a train of events in motion. That train cannot be derailed. If you left now, it would only serve the purpose of the forces you oppose."
"But what if?" I said, turning to push the issue. But Mr Tall had disappeared, leaving only the flickering flames and a stick speared with sausages lying on the grass next to the fire.
That evening, after I'd rested and enjoyed a filling meal, I told Harkat about my trip home. I also told him about my short conversation with Mr Tall and how he'd urged me not to get involved with Annie.