"Nightmares?"
"You could say that." She noticed that his hand was still gripping her elbow and she instinctively jerked away. Seeing Tyler's stricken face, she realized her mistake. Alexis felt the knot in her stomach doubling in size. "I didn't mean to do that," she said in a small voice. She offered her elbow. "Here, you can hold it again, if you want."
Tyler burst out laughing at the sheer absurdity. "Maybe I don't want to hold your elbow."
Alexis dropped her arm to her side. "Okay then."
"Maybe I'd rather hold some other body part."
She felt herself being drawn in by his intense gaze. "Which one?" she asked, daring him.
"Ladies' choice."
He gave her a cocky half-smile and she froze. Ladies' choice. Her thoughts flew back to Mark and the brief moment of pleasure immediately gave way to immense guilt.
"Tyler, I…" she faltered, uncertain what to say. "I'm scared."
"Scared?" He cupped her face with his hands. "Of me?"
"Of having feelings for someone other than my husband," she confessed.
His brow wrinkled in confusion. "Husband?" He edged back slightly. "Are you married?"
"Not anymore, but please Tyler, that's all I want to say about it for now." Tears filled her eyes, but Alexis was determined not to cry.
"What's his name?" asked Tyler. He didn't know why he asked that; it just slipped out.
"Mark."
"Did you meet him in London?"
"Tyler," she began, then relented. "Yes, I did. Now please don't ask anything else. I've fashioned myself a nice, delusional bubble and I like it in here. It's cozy."
"Fine for you, but how do you expect anyone else to get in?" he asked.
She grew flustered. "I don't."
Without another word, she fled Lottie's Greenhouse. Away from Tyler and away from the good feelings he evoked. How could she flirt with him so shamelessly? How could she consider him as anything more than a friend? She continued to run through the quiet island streets as images of Somerset House raced through her mind. Every nervous giggle. Every smile.
The memory was too painful. She needed to keep moving because standing still made it too easy to think. She ran through Coconut Cove to the nearest beach, kicking off her shoes as soon as she hit the sand. She waded into the water, seeking absolution. The bottom of her dress quickly became drenched. The waves crashed against the cluster of boulders and Alexis welcomed the salt water spray on her face. She didn't deserve Tyler's attention. She didn't deserve to be happy. She'd had her chance at love and she blew it. She deserved to be exactly as she was - alone.