“I’m going to try,” he finally said. He looked at me. “For you.”
I nodded. That was the best answer I could have received. “Okay.”
We stood there together, and nothing more needed to be said—at least, not for a while. I could feel her. She stood with us, smiling. I knew my mother wanted us to be a family again. It’d happen.
Love you, Mom.
Love you back, Firecracker.
LOGAN
Mason’s head appeared over the roller coaster as he made his way to where I sat in the car at the top of the track. So much for this being a secret. He finished his ascent, I could see him looking around, a slight frown on his face.
I had to laugh.
Mase called and said our dad wanted to meet up for a later dinner. The favor he wanted had to be done in-person and that meant it was a big one, one we wouldn’t be happy about. That was like issuing a challenge. Usually I’d pounce on that shit like a starving lion. Challenge accepted. A month ago, I would’ve shoved through those doors, walked into the room like I owned it, and ripped into our dad. Fuck. A day ago I’d have had the same response. But not today. Today I came here.
This day…was so much not like the rest.
“What…” Mason paused next to the car door. “…the fuck are you doing up here?”
I grinned, leaning back. “I usually come at night.” I gestured to the view. “The entire city’s out there.”
“It’s dangerous, Logan.” He eyed the empty seat next to me. “That’s safe, right? I mean, you wouldn’t be up here if it wasn’t…right?”
I scooted over and patted the seat. “All warm and cozy for you.”
He groaned, but climbed inside. “Tell me I’m the best big brother you got.” He grimaced. “I fucking hate heights.”
“You’ll never jump out of a plane.” I cocked my head to the side, teasing. “You’ll never experience a high-ropes course.”
He frowned. “Fucking A. I can’t even think about some of that shit.”
I was just getting started. “You’ll never go parasailing. You’ll never zip-line anywhere…ever.” That one did suck. “Holy shit, Mase. What the hell are you going to experience in life? You may as well shrivel up and die now.” I laughed and slapped him on the back. “Does Sam know?”
He gripped the bar in front of us, but threw me a half-smile. “That I’m your big brother?”
“That you’ll never be an extreme sports junkie. Her dream of making love on the side of a cliff will never come true.” I patted my chest. “You know, a year ago I would’ve offered to fill in for you, but—” The joke died. I didn’t have it in me. I liked to get a rise out of him, but my spark was gone. Taylor had snuffed that out. Pretending to hit on Sam no longer gave me joy.
“Shut the fuck up.” His eyes flashed a warning. “I’m here. I’m sitting on a Goddamn roller coaster ride— one that I’m sure Dad would have a heart attack if he knew we were on.”
I laughed. “I don’t actually ride. I just come up here and sit. It’s peaceful.” It used to be peaceful. I remembered finding Taylor here, weeks ago. Alone. I could see her tears, hear the sadness in her voice. Dammit. I could smell her all over again. That damn vanilla scent.
“Are you done making me feel like a pussy?”
I looked at my brother and nodded. “Yeah.”
“Okay.” He rubbed his forehead. “Can we have this talk on the ground? Why’d you make me come up here?”
I shrugged. “This is my thinking spot.”
“You can think just fine down there.” He leaned forward to peek below us, then jerked back, cursing under his breath. “I love you, but right now some of that is fading—fast.” He made a circling motion. “Let’s get this conversation going. What’s going on with you?”
Well, there was no reason to beat around the bush. “I’m in love.”
Mason said nothing.
And nothing.
Still nothing.
I looked over and lifted an eyebrow. “You going to say something?”
He was watching me steadily, but there was no reaction on his face. I couldn’t read him. He moved his arm to rest on the back of our seat, lifted his hand, and smacked the back of my head. “You’re just now figuring this out?”
“Hey.” I shoved his arm off the back. “What was that for?” I scowled. “You knew?”
“Everyone knows.”
“Everyone?”
He nodded. “Me. Sam. Nate.”
“Nate did not know.”
“Why do you think he’s been an asshole to you? He knew before I did. He’s pissed because he’s losing his bar buddy.” Mason shifted to sit sideways, facing me. His arm rested on the back of the seat again, and he leaned forward. “You’ve not been yourself. You’re more serious. You don’t want to screw everything— except for the last month, but that’s because she sent you down the highway.”
“What highway?”
“The road.” He motioned ahead of us. “You know what I mean. She sent you packing.”
I shook my head. “You need better metaphors.”
“Whatever,” he said. “I’m not the funny one, remember? That’s your job.”
“Trust me, I’m well aware. I’m hilarious.”