He looks at me in question. His head tilts slightly to the side, his strong brows pulled tight. “I’m not following, angel. Are you hurt?”
“You let them go and you didn’t need me,” I gasp.
“Emersyn, fucking hell—what is wrong?!” His voice booms through the room and I smile. The tears don’t stop, but I smile huge and look into his eyes. “Have you lost your mind? Do you need me to find some happy pills? For the love of Christ, Em, what is wrong?”
He’s losing his patience and I’m losing my damn mind.
I reach up, lightly rub my palm against his chest, right above his heart, and look at him with what I hope is the face of a crazy woman who loves him. The tears aren’t going to stop. I’ve been waiting and hoping that he would let go of just one of those three demons in his box. I knew they were the biggest of his burdens, and even though I was willing to carry them with him for an eternity, I wanted him to feel peace.
“I love you, my big, strong, and brave man.”
He is clearly having trouble following my mood swings because he seems even more confused than before. I work harder to control my crazy, stifling my tears and swallowing the heavy lump in my throat.
“I knew you would be able to do it, baby. I can’t even tell you how proud I am of you right now.”
To my utter and complete shock, his cheeks heat and Maddox Locke freaking blushes. “It was time, Em,” is all he says.
“Yeah, I guess it was,” I agree.
“Come on. Let’s get you back to bed.”
When we get in the bedroom, I toss one glance at the box still sitting on his dresser. I know that, by it still being there, there is still one more thing left. I’m guessing that, since his Medal is out and the letter from his fallen brother’s widow was the one to go, that means the hardest and largest of his demons is left.
Those bastards in Texas.
As we slowly walk towards the bed, I can’t help but feel a little nervous over the enormity of which battle is left for him. It won’t be easy, but I won’t let him do it alone.
He helps me climb into bed, and when he moves to leave, I look up at him and shake my head.
“Sit,” I command.
His lips twitch and his brow cocks, but he sits.
“Tell me how to remove your prosthetic please?”
His eyes go wide, showing me his shock. “Em,” he starts.
“Don’t make me spank your ass, Maddox Locke. Tell me how to remove it.”
He grumbles under his breath, but he takes my hand and moves me through the motions. It’s hard since one of my hands is throbbing from having not been used for so long. I’m twisted at a weird angle in the bed, but I manage to remove it. Then he takes it from my hands and places it next to the bed. He won’t meet my eye, and I hate that he still feels some shame.
“Come on. Scoot back,” I demand, patting the bed next to me.
He gripes and complains but still sits by me.
I reach down and place my hand against his hip. He jumps slightly but still doesn’t meet my eyes. It isn’t until my hand has moved to rest right above his stump that his head snaps to the side and his eyes take mine.
“The next time I see even an ounce of shame darkening those sexy, black eyes of yours, Maddox, I’m going to smack your ass until it’s pink.”
His jaw drops, but I keep going.
“And then, if you still act like this part of you that I love is something you should hate, I’ll punish you every time. You think that I don’t love every inch of this magnificent body? Oh, you are so wrong. This part of you that you feel shame in is something I look at with pride. You, my brave, brave man, are a hero and it’s time you started wearing that title with pride. Be as proud of yourself as I am. Maybe I should just start keeping myself from you until you see just how much I mean this.”
I go to move my hand to my sex and his eyes flash for a second before his strong hand grips my wrist—softly but with enough pressure to show me that he means business.
“If you think you’re going to keep that sweet goddamn cunt from me, then you’ve got another thing coming, Emersyn.” His voice rushes through me, and I have to shift my hips when my arousal becomes too much. “You don’t keep your body from me…ever. Understand?”
“I’ll do what I have to do,” I sass back.
“Emersyn,” he growls.
“I don’t think so, mister! You aren’t going to go all sexy, growling alpha on me. You heard what I said. Now calm your cock down and take the over-the-top caveman down a peg or two. You still think of your imperfections as something to be ashamed of?”
He scowls, but answers, “No, Emmy, I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I have to fucking like them.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, big boy.” With a smile, I run my hand over his hardened skin. He shivers, but I know he isn’t cold. “You’ll fucking like them, because your woman fucking loves them.”
“I should wash your mouth out with soap and then spank your ass.”
“I would enjoy that too much.”
He groans and drops his head back with a loud thump against the headboard. “I don’t hate it, okay? You are the only person who has ever even touched me like this besides someone medically responsible to. I’m working on the rest. I don’t hide it from you and you have to know that, months ago, I would still be keeping it covered whenever I knew your eyes could take sight of it.”
“I get that. But it’s time to stop playing in the dark, baby.”
“Meaning?” he barks.
“Ugh, you are so frustrating. Meaning that, tomorrow, when we go to family dinner, I want you in shorts.”
His eyes go from hard to shocked within seconds. “It’s fucking winter!” he snarls.
“I don’t give a crap if you’re headed to the North Pole. Shorts, Maddox. It’s time to toss that ridiculous fear that others will judge you out the damn window.”
“That damn sass,” he drones.
“You love that damn sass,” I retort.
“You’re damn fucking right I do.”
Then he shows me just how much he loves that damn sass. It isn’t until hours later, when our bodies are still covered with a light layer of sweat, that I allow myself one huge mental victory dance.