“I—I—” she said, sobbing through the words.
“What’s going on?” Jamie, who had just come up the stairs, said as he came into the room. I nodded at the test box, and his face fell. “Oh,” he said, taking a seat on her other side. “Honey. It’s all right. We’ve got that appointment next week—we’ll see what’s going on—”
“I’m fine,” Cora sputtered as I grabbed her some tissues. “I really am.”
I reached over, taking her hand so I could put the tissues into it. She was still holding the test stick, so I took it from her as she drew in another breath. It wasn’t until after I put it down on the bed beside me that I actually looked at it.
“Are you, though? ” Jamie was saying, rubbing her shoulders. “Are you sure?”
I stared at the stick again, double-checking it. Then tripling. “Yeah,” I said, holding it up, the plus sign more than clear as Cora dissolved in tears again. “She’s positive.”
She was also sick as a dog, morning and night, as well as so tired she couldn’t stay up much past dinner. Not that I’d heard her complain, even once.
All of this had got me thinking, and a few days before my birthday, I’d sat down at my desk to write a letter, long overdue, to my own mother, who was still in rehab in Tennessee. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say, though, and after sitting there for a full hour, with nothing coming, I’d just photocopied my acceptance letter from the U and slid it inside the envelope. It wasn’t closure, by any means, but it was progress. If nothing else, now we knew where to find each other, even if only time would tell if either of us would ever come looking.
“Got it! Let’s go!” I heard Jamie yell from inside. Roscoe perked up his ears, and I watched him run, tags jingling, across the grass to the house.
It was only then, when I knew I was alone, at least for the moment, that I reached under my gown into the pocket of my dress. As I pulled out my key from the yellow house, which I’d kept on my bureau since the day Nate left, I traced the shape one last time before folding my hand tightly around it.
Behind me, Cora was calling again. My family was waiting. Looking down at the pond, all I could think was that it is an incredible thing, how a whole world can rise from what seems like nothing at all. I stepped closer to the edge, keeping my eyes on my reflection as I dropped the key into the water, where it landed with a splash. At first, the fish darted away, but as it began to sink they circled back, gathering around. Together, they followed it down, down, until it was gone.