Turning around, he opened a cabinet and pulled out a pretty piece. It was small and tinted pink. I knew Jessica would definitely hate it, but a girl like her needed to know how to protect herself in case she was right and I didn’t stick around. Which, let’s face it, was bound to happen at some point.
I left Grady’s with exactly what I came in for. Jessica might not like it, but I’d feel better about her being alone if she was packing. She’d have a lot to learn about how to use it. I’d be sure she understood what pulling the trigger meant, before she actually pulled it.
Twenty-One
Rosslyn
When I woke the next morning, Sebastian was gone. I wasn’t surprised. He wasn’t the kind of guy who spent the night. Rolling over, I pressed my face into the pillow beside me and breathed him in.
There was a hole in my chest and my body ached sweetly. I stretched to wake it. Closing my eyes, I thought about how the last few days had gone. It was bad to be so caught up in a man like him, and I knew from the beginning he was going to crush my heart, but I hadn’t cared at the time. I just didn’t understand how bad it could hurt.
My cell on the bedside table chirped and I reached out to check it. The screen lit up with my touch, showing me a text notification. Since Kyle and Sebastian were the only two people who knew my number, I knew it was from Sebastian. I pressed my finger against the tiny pink envelope on the screen.
Sebastian: Be ready by ten and wear something comfortable. It’s time to face your fears.
My stomach felt tight with fear already. I set the phone down and chewed on my bottom lip. I had no idea what the heck he was talking about, or what we would be doing come ten o’clock, but I got up and made my way toward the bathroom to shower.
The hot water soothed my sore muscles. I ran my fingers across my tight abs and aching thighs. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I didn’t know how I was going to face him and keep my feelings hidden. My emotions had no place in this deal and I would just have to get over them.
Fifteen minutes later, I was wiping fresh steam from the mirror and wrapping a fluffy towel around my breasts. I stared at myself in the mirror and wondered what I’d gotten myself into with Sebastian.
I was caught up in him completely, but to him I was just another one of his girls. It hurt to even think about him spending nights like ours with other girls.
He’d made it abundantly clear he had no interest in me outside of sex or taking care of me financially; and even then, it was because he wanted something from me.
There would be no proposals of love, or vows of fidelity. He’d stated plainly what he wanted from day one, and that was my body only. My heart, or his for that matter, were not on the table and they never would be, no matter how badly I wanted to set mine up there for him.
I thought of Kyle, and how happy he was about the condo and the fact we weren’t living in his school parking lot. No matter what, I had to do this for him. I couldn’t lose him again, when he was all I had. At least that’s what I’d keep telling myself. As bad as it stung, I refused to acknowledge that my reasons for being with Sebastian were becoming purely selfish.
Turning away from the mirror, I dried off and hung the towel up to comb through my wet hair. I got dressed, briefly wondering what a girl wore when she was facing her fears. I decided on jeans and a white button-up shirt.
The sound of the elevator made me stand from the couch. And then there he was, strutting into my apartment with his dark hair and shade-covered eyes, topped with that panty-soaking smile.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
He reached out and placed a hand on my lower back, ushering me onto the elevator. He didn’t move his hand until he was opening the door to the car for me to climb in. I felt the loss of his warmth the minute he wasn’t there. I reminded myself that he did such intimate gestures with all of his girls, he was just practiced at what he did.
I watched him move with purpose to the driver’s side of the car. Once he was in and had his seatbelt on, I spoke.
“Can you tell me what this is about?”
“I have something for you. But first… I don’t want you walking the streets alone anymore.” His words had come from nowhere. “As long as we’re doing this, you’ll call Martin when you need to go somewhere. Understood?”
“It’s not necessary. I have two feet and—”
He cut me off. “What did I say, Jessica?”
The way he was talking to me made me mad, even though I should’ve been used to it by that point. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked out the window, pretending to ignore his words.