She shakes her head and then swallows the food. “No, it’s just not very romantic to be told you’re getting money to walk away.”
“Ha!” I say. “I am the romantic one in this arrangement, Kinsella. You’re the one who never wants to get married! You practically admitted you’re not romantic. I sent you flowers today. I sent you a happy-first-day message. I arranged this perfect evening of sex, and fun, and food. Not to mention the titillating conversation. What more do you want?”
“I want it to be real,” she says defensively. “And not something fake. Not something you do because you’re looking to get something in return.”
“Real? Really? Then why do you keep comparing me to your fantasy?”
She sighs and then collapses back onto the rug, her long legs stretching out on either side of mine. “OK, never mind. My feelings don’t count. I get it.”
I lie down next to her, propping my head up with my elbow. “I never said that. Why are you so conflicted? Just have fun, for f**k’s sake. Just enjoy this. Smile, be happy. Tell me about your day.”
She eyes me suspiciously with a sidelong glance. “If I tell you about my day, then you have to tell me about yours.”
“Deal,” I say quickly.
“All of it. Even secret stuff.”
“What kind of secret stuff?”
She lets out a long sigh and then smiles. “I don’t know.” She laughs and the tension releases. “Personal things, so I don’t feel so… impersonal.”
I drag a stray length of hair out of her eyes and tuck it behind her ear. “I can do that. Every time we meet, I will tell you something no one else knows. Will that make you happy?”
She nods. “Tell me something now. Something that happened today that no one else knows.”
“Hmm.” I lie all the way down next to her and fold my hands over my stomach. “No one knows how happy you made me today.” I look over at her and she’s shaking her head.
“Nope, that’s not gonna work. It can’t be about me.”
“OK, I have this adopted daughter—”
“Daughter?”
“Uh, yeah. I mean, she’s not my daughter, but I think of her as one. Felicity’s a senior in college. I adopted her when she was sixteen. So anyway, I hired my brother to hack her phone today so I can keep track of her.”
I look over at her and her mouth is gaping open. “Oh my God, that is so wrong.”
“I know. It’s a secret. You wanted one, so there. You got one. I’m spying on Felicity because I’m a controlling ass**le who can’t let go. I wish she’d been mine from the beginning. It makes me sad to think that she had all those important moments in life and I missed them. I get torn up inside when I think about how many shitty birthdays she had before she came into my life. Or how many Christmases she had to endure with no family to love her.”
We sit there in silence for a few seconds and I wonder how she’ll take this.
“I think,” Grace says in a low whisper, “I think that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Good,” I say with genuine relief. “I’ve redeemed myself. I just hope Felicity doesn’t find out, she might not think it’s so sweet. Now,” I say getting to my feet, and then pulling her up as I sit in my chair. “Come back here and tell me about your day while I feed you.”
And she does. Pausing every few sentences to take in the food I feed her, but then picking up right where she left off after she swallows it down. I take that time to feed myself, cutting my own steak and enjoying her conversation as I listen with an attentive ear while I chew. And then I tell her about mine. About lunch with my agent. About production schedules, and other mundane things that people talk about at dinner. We trade off that way, her talking while I eat, me talking while she eats.
We’ve already found our stride.
By the time we’ve finished everything on the plate, she looks exhausted, but I don’t want to deny her dessert if she desires it, so I let her choose. “I have berries, sweets. Do you want some berries before you go to bed? Or are you too tired for dessert?”
She sighs as she looks at the door to the building. “I am tired, but I don’t want to go to bed just yet, so berries, please.”
“Here, come closer. Place your head on my thigh. Rest and let me feed you some raspberries.”
She does as I ask, situating herself snugly between my legs and placing her cheek on my thigh. I can feel her hot breath though my trousers and it’s turning me on again. But we’re done f**king. She’d be too tired to enjoy it properly.
I take a raspberry from the bowl and bring it to her nose, “They smell delicious, don’t they?”
She inhales and closes her eyes. “Mmmm, they really do.”
I place the berry against her lips but she does not open her mouth, so I trace the soft fruit along the thin line. The berry bruises easily and the juice bursts forth, staining her lips with a few drops before her tongue darts out and licks it off. I place the berry on her tongue and she closes her mouth, chewing slowly in a way that lets me know she’s enjoying herself.
“Are you happy with our evening, Grace? I don’t want to spoil this, but I want you to sign the papers tonight. I think this date sets our standard. If you agree, you can expect more nights like this. Although how often, that I can’t promise.”