When the kiss finally ended and he stepped back, I looked away, breathless and blushing furiously.
"Um," I said. "Whoa. Sorry. I didn't mean to eat your face off. I hope I didn't scare you."
He chuckled, and I shivered slightly. My heart was still beating too hard. "Trust me, Cora. I'm not scared." He took a lock of my hair and pushed it back over my shoulder. "See you?" he asked, and I knew he didn't mean in class.
"Yeah," I said. "Absolutely."
Then he had left me to fumble into my apartment and collapse on the couch, hoping we hadn't just ruined a friendship trying for something more.
"Nice?" Geoff said now, settling back with an exaggerated air of disgust. "That's all I get? Nice?"
"Okay, better than nice," I admitted. "I was looking forward to going out again." I took a bite.
"Well, good. Because so was I," he said, shifting with his usual swiftness back to seriousness again.
"I'm sorry," I repeated. "It just wasn't a good time for me to get into anything new."
"And now?" he asked. He raised his eyebrows over his slice of pizza.
It was striking how different he was from Mr. Thorne, I thought inanely. Geoff was boyish and golden, with light honey-brown hair and a perpetual tan that he got from hours on the lacrosse field. He was sporty without being a jock, with a self-effacing humor that never failed to make me smile. I was still a bit dazzled that he was interested in me. It wasn't that I was unpretty or anything. I just didn't have the sparkling kind of personality or background that usually attracted guys like him. I was the wingman to Lisette's charm.
In contrast, Mr. Thorne was cold and remote, arrogant and God-only-knows how much older. I couldn't even picture him where Geoff was, sitting in the humming Dairy, legs outstretched and a negligent half-grin on his face.
I shook my head. Mr. Thorne, I told myself, was not a possible...boyfriend. I didn't know what he was-I still couldn't wrap my head around it-but he was a creature of another world entirely.
"After Winter Break," I said, answering Geoff's question. "I'll know by then if the new treatment is working."
"And if it isn't?" Geoff said, his forehead creasing with concern. He set the pizza down.
"If it isn't, I won't be around long enough to make a relationship worth it," I said bluntly.
He looked stricken. "Shaw-"
"Please, don't. I can't deal with that right now. After the break. I'm sure I'll be doing better then," I said, making promises I had no power to keep. I finished half of my sandwich.