“Where were you?” I rasp. “Where were you when I buried my mother?”
He flinches and his eyes widen slightly. “What?”
“You might have chosen to drop me, Nate, but you were my friend. Someone I trusted and confided in. So where were you when I buried her? You couldn’t come to pay your respects? Couldn’t show me a little compassion?”
He looks confused. How dare he look confused?
“I didn’t,” he begins.
“Don’t bother,” I say, turning away.
“I didn’t know, Avery. I didn’t know when the funeral was.”
I stop and turn back, and I can see in his eyes that he’s telling the truth. He looks so upset, his face grief stricken.
“Kelly sent you a message.”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t get a message.”
Lena. We’re both thinking it, though neither of us will say it.
“Look, it doesn’t matter anyway, does it?” My voice has grown softer. “This thing, this connection between us . . . it’s broken now. I am going away for a while, Nate, and I truly can’t tell you if I’ll be back. I can’t live . . . like this. Running into you all the time. It hurts too much. Your wife doesn’t want it and neither do I.”
“How would you know my wife doesn’t want it?” he says, narrowing his eyes.
Shit.
“I, uh . . .”
Shit, shit, shit.
“Avery,” he grinds out. “How would you know my wife doesn’t want it?”
“I have to go.”
“Like fuck,” he growls, reaching out and taking my arm.
“Here Daddy,” Macy says, bouncing back with an overfull bag of apples. Nate drops my arm and I turn, quickly rushing off before he can say another word.
I just made a huge mistake saying that. But one thing is for certain: maybe Lena was right. Maybe it is time I move on.
~*~*~*~
“I think I need the break,” I say to Maggie as I throw clothes into my suitcase.
“You’re probably right,” she whispers, putting a hand on my shoulder. “But it won’t be the same without you.”
“I won’t be gone for long, just a few months. I’ll travel, take some time away, find myself again.”
“You’ll be missed.”
I smile and pull her into my arms. “I’ll be back. I swear it.”
~*~*~*~
AVERY
Saying goodbye wasn’t easy. Kelly held onto me like he’d never see me again.
Liam hugged me tightly, begging me to return soon. Max cupped my face and wished me luck.
Then I left. I know what you’re thinking; I left because of Lena. You’d be right; part of it was because of Lena, but part of it was for me. Nate deserves this time to fix his family. It’s not fair of me to put myself in his way, and it’s also not fair of me to let him suffer with the loss of his child if I don’t do what Lena wants. And I know she’ll take Macy, because that’s the kind of woman she is.
The part I’m doing for me is taking the time to heal. I need to get away, clear my head, think about my life and then come back and start over. I need time to forget Nate. I know the months won’t change the aching in my chest, but I also know I have to do this. I’ll never forget the love I feel for Nate, but I will find a way to put it somewhere so it doesn’t affect me for the rest of my life.
It’s a big risk, but it’s one I’m willing to take.
CHAPTER 35
NATE
She’s gone. She’s been gone for a month.
Things haven’t gotten better for me. Since the day she ran from the grocery store, I’ve thought about her. I confronted Lena, but she denied ever seeing Avery. Who do I believe? The thought that Avery might fall in love while she’s gone, that she might truly leave my life forever rips me apart inside. I don’t know how I’ll survive if she comes back in love and happy. How can I see her like that when I want to be the one it should happen with?
“Daddy,” Macy calls, running into the living area where I’m sitting, staring at nothing.
“Hey, baby,” I say, wrapping my arms around my daughter.
“Mommy locked the door. I can’t get in.”
I sigh and stand, taking Macy’s hand and leading her down the hall. I get to the bedroom door and reach out for the handle when I hear Lena’s voice flowing through.
“I can’t tell him, J,” she says quietly. “He’ll never forgive me if he knows I’m not really sick.”
I can’t be hearing her right. I put my finger up to Macy and tell her to be quiet. She nods and presses her ear to the door when I do.
“It’s the only way I could keep him here. I know about that tramp, and I know he would have chosen her.”
Rage swells in my chest. She knows? She fucking knows?
“I paid her a visit, told her to leave town. I had to threaten her, but I heard she went. Things will get better now, especially when I suddenly recover. We can move away, maybe have another baby. I’m not giving up my lifestyle for some trashy bimbo.”
Blinding rage: it’s all I feel. My vision blurs and my entire body prickles.
“Macy,” I say to my daughter, and I’m thankful she doesn’t notice my voice shaking. “Go and play, honey.”
“Okay, Daddy.”
She rushes off and I lift my fist, pounding on the door.
“Shit,” I hear Lena say. “Ah, coming.”