He puts his big arms around me, but it doesn’t ease the pain. It hurts so much. It’s like someone has lit a fire in my soul and it’s slowly burning.
“There will never be anyone else like him,” I bellow. “No one. He’s it. He’s all I’ll ever have and want.”
“He’s not yours to want, Avery. He never was.”
“I love him,” I screech so loudly I hurt my own ears. “I love him.”
I don’t know how Kelly found me here, but I knew the minute he lifted me into his arms that he knew. I guess Nate called him—that’s the kind of man Nate is. Everyone else before him. Just the thought of him has a raw sob rising up in my throat and escaping into Kelly’s chest.
“It hurts, Kelly. It hurts so much.”
“It’s meant to hurt, Av. Because it’s wrong.”
“I love him,” I cry clutching his shirt. “Don’t you get that? I love him!”
“That’s the problem,” he says softly. “It’s not real love, Avery. It’s a lie; that’s all it will ever be.”
“You define love by deciding if it’s right or wrong. That’s not always correct. Love creeps up on you at the most inopportune moment, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Love cannot be reasoned with and it can’t be as simple as right or wrong.”
“Nate is my love. You don’t have to agree but you can’t change what is. One day, Kelly, you might find a love like mine. And I hope you’ll never have to feel the pain I feel right now—like a broken angel, my wings torn down. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever fly again without him.”
“You will, Avery,” he whispers. “You will.”
He’s wrong.
I’ll never be the same again.
CHAPTER 28
NATE
I have nowhere to go. My heart is falling to pieces. My hands are gripped around the steering wheel and I’m speeding towards the only place, towards the only person who might understand. How can I move past this? Watching her, on her knees, screaming for me—it fucking broke me. I don’t know if letting her go was the right thing for me, but it was the right thing for her.
I had to do it for her.
I skid to a halt at the driveway of my parents’ home. I jump out of the car. My hands are trembling and my legs feel weak. I charge towards my father’s shed, where I know he’ll be. When no one is there, that’s where he spends most of his time. I shove the door open and he spins around quickly. His eyes widen with shock before taking me in.
“Nate, son, what’s wrong?”
I shake my head backwards and forward, the words not forming on my tongue no matter how desperately I want them to. He gets up and rushes forward, putting his hands on my shoulders.
“Son, you’re scarin’ me. What’s going on?”
“I fucked up,” I croak out. “I fucked up, Dad.”
“Sit down, tell me . . .”
I shake my head, stepping back. My fingers go up to tangle in my hair and I clench my jaw, trying to hold the emotions at bay.
“I’ve been having an affair,” I rasp, the words burning my tongue as they come out.
He stares at me, his face a mask of shock and pain. “Oh son, no.”
“With Avery.”
He’s silent a moment. I cut him off before he can even open his mouth to speak. “I know what you’re going to say: it’s wrong, I fucked up, I disrespected Lena. I know,” I rasp. “I fucking know what I’ve done. I just . . .I just ended it with her. I left her on the floor screaming my name. I fucking broke a woman.”
“Nate . . .”
“I love her,” I yell, looking up at him, finally letting my walls down. A tear rolls down my cheek and I don’t fucking care. “I love her, Dad, I love her so fucking much it hurts and I just broke her.”
My knees give way and my dad wraps his arms around me, and he sinks to the floor by my side. His strong arms are around me, and I try hard to fight the pain bubbling up in my chest but I can’t stop it from flowing out. I love her. What will I do now?
“I got you, son, always got you. It’s going to be okay. It’ll all be okay.”
Nothing will ever be okay again.
I’ve lost the only thing I was breathing for.
CHAPTER 29
AVERY
“What is wrong with you?” my father barks, pacing the room. “How could you give up everything for some, some, pathetic boy who rides bikes?”
My father found out about Nate and I. Of course I didn’t tell him, but he did walk in when Kelly was comforting me and speaking with me about it. He listened. He got the full story. Now he’s making it known that I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. Like I didn’t already know that.
“It’s not like I planned it,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. It’s all it’s been for more thank a week now.
“You know better,” he growls, slamming his fist onto the bench. “You gave up a good, solid man for that . . . loser?”
I flinch. “He is not a loser.”
“He is a loser,” he bellows. “And to think I was going to leave everything to you.”
“I never wanted it,” I scream, my voice hoarse. “I never wanted your money, or your perfect, solid man. I just wanted my own life.”
“Yeah?” he snaps. “Good; you’re about to get it. I’m cutting you off, Avery. I will pay you only what is in your trust. The business will be signed over to Jacob. You and Liam will have no part in it.”