“Av?” Kelly says. “You okay?”
“Ah, yeah, I was just feeling a little . . . off, suddenly,” I say, and my voice sounds ragged.
“You sick?”
Nate starts fucking me again. Oh, no.
“Ah,” I call out, trying to keep my voice from trembling. “Yeah.”
“Do you need me to get you anything?”
Nate’s finger is on my clit and he’s fucking me slowly, so slowly my mind feels like it’s about to explode, my body on the edge.
“I,” I begin, “no.”
“You sound shaky. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Nate drives deeper, bringing me to the edge once more.
“I . . . no . . . I just . . .” I begin but my words are cut off when I come.
I come hard, too. I don’t know if it’s because Kelly is at the door or if it’s just because Nate fucks so good. I drop my head into Nate’s shoulder and I bite down so hard he lets out a quiet grunt. Then I feel his cock pulsing inside me as he finds his own release.
“What?” Kelly calls. “Didn’t catch that?”
“I’ll be out in a minute,” I yell, my voice breathy.
“All right.”
I hear his footsteps disappear and I turn to Nate, who is grinning.
“You’re evil, Nathaniel.”
He winks at me, and then jerks his hips again. I feel his cock sliding through my wetness and I gasp.
“You’re still hard?”
“It’s been a week.”
I grin as he begins fucking me slowly again. We don’t get far before his phone starts ringing. I throw a hand over my mouth and he quickly pulls out of me, taking a step back and digging it out of his pocket. He answers it with a ragged whisper.
“What?”
I can hear Lena’s voice on the other end and it’s quite clear. That would be because it’s so silent in the room right now, aside from our deep breathing.
“Where are you?” she asks.
“I’m out,” he answers.
“You didn’t stay long last night. I thought you would after what we did . . .”
My world spins. He came back last night? Last night? He went to her? He . . . oh, God. He looks up quickly and sees me shaking my head and backing towards the bathroom. He quickly barks, “I’ll call you later,” into the phone before snapping it closed and taking a step towards me.
“Avery . . .”
“I’ll ask once, and once only, Nate,” I whisper. “Did you get home last night?”
He nods, his eyes pained. “Yeah, I did. I needed to see Macy.”
“And you . . .” I swallow, because it hurts. God, it fucking hurts. “You fucked her?”
He closes his eyes and drops his head. “I didn’t fuck her, I . . . she . . .”
“She what?” I say, my voice low and gravelly.
“It doesn’t matter, Avery. It meant nothing. She was trying to make it better, trying to fix this and . . .”
“What did she do?” I say, cupping either side of my head and shaking it from side to side.
“I’m not telling you, because it’s not worth the pain.”
“Did she suck your cock?” I cry, irrational.
His face answers everything for me.
“Does it...” I swallow, trembling. “Happen a lot?”
“No it doesn’t fuckin’ happen a lot. Shit, Avery – this is the first time since you. I barely kept it up and ended up walking out half way through, making a pathetic excuse to leave. You have no fucking idea how hard it is. How could you? You’re naive and young, and you’ve never lived through what I have.”
I take another step back into the bathroom. Reality—this is fucking reality. I’m a mistress. I’m the other woman. I’m the one he goes to when he’s feeling down, but he always, always goes home to her first and who the hell am I to judge him for that? She’s his fucking wife. Tears glide down my cheeks as I realize what a fool I’ve been.
“Avery,” he whispers, stretching a hand out. “It wasn’t what you think.”
“Leave, Nate,” I gasp through sobs.
“It’s not . . . She’s my fucking wife – how can you be angry at me for that?”
“I know that,” I sob, trying not to scream. “I should have paid more attention to that all along, and then I never would have ended up in this situation. This is my fault—all my fucking fault.”
“Avery, don’t say that. It meant nothing. Fuck, it was empty and emotionless . . .”
“It doesn’t matter,” I wail, shaking my head from side to side. “Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter. It hurts, Nate. It hurts like you’ve just been with another woman behind my back. It feels like you’ve cheated, and yet you haven’t. This is my own stupid fault; I am a naive, pathetic girl who should have realized sooner that you were never going to leave.”
His eyes become panicked. “I never said that. Shit, Avery, I never . . .”
“Leave, Nate.”
“No. I’m not leaving until you listen; you need to listen.”
“Listen to what?” I scream, unable to hold back. “To you telling me it’s okay? It’s not okay. Now leave.”
I hear footsteps on the stairs and so does he. He looks torn, his eyes darting to the door and back to me. Then he closes his eyes, clenches his fists and turns, lifting my window and disappearing out of it like he was never here. A second later a knock sounds on my door. I don’t move; I don’t want to move. I can’t hold back my emotions, can’t pretend anymore.