“About what?”
“About. . .” I sat up on my knees and massaged his shoulders. “There’s something . . . wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s this lighthouse thing.”
“What about it, my love.” He laid the guitar down on the bed and turned when I didn’t answer, taking my hand off his shoulder to hold it. “I can see how upset you are by this. What is it?”
“It’s . . . I get this feeling.”
“Feeling?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, not really sure how to explain it. “Like I’m forgetting something.”
He laughed and hooked his arm behind my back, pulling me around and into his lap. “You are, my love. You have amnesia.”
“But, I . . . I have a really bad feeling about it.”
“Of course you do,” he said simply. “You’re missing a part of your life, a section of events that happened, resulting in extreme pain and near death, and your mind is trying to make sense of it. It’s your instinct to survive, to find a reason something occurred and prevent it happening again.”
My shoulders relaxed. “You think?”
“Yes.” He lifted my hand from the buttons I was toying with and kissed it. “I’m sure of it.”
“But, I feel like something bad happened.”
“It did.” He laughed. “You fell off a lighthouse.”
I laughed, too, patting his chest before resting my face in the curve of his neck, his stubble prickling my eyebrow. “You’re right. I guess I’m just not used to the sensation of losing my memory.”
“You mean mind,” he joked.
“Be nice.” I gave him a soft slap on the thigh. “Besides, it’s not just me who lost their mind.”
“What do you mean?”
“Mike did, too.”
“Ara, what. Do. You. Mean?” he said each word more firmly, but with a hint of a smile in his tone.
“I mean. . .” I sat up to look into his eyes. “Mike had a memory lapse that night, too. He said he’d planned to take a new box of cuffs down to the training hall, but when he went to get them from the mailroom, they were gone. They’d already been put in the hall. He asked around, and no one else had done it, but he had no memory of it.”
“And you think this has something to do with your loss of memory?”
“Yeah.”
“And . . . what could that possibly be?”
I shrugged.
“Stop worrying about it, Ara.” He kissed my head and rubbed my back. “I’ve looked into it, and I can’t see any evidence of foul play, okay?”
“Did you talk to Jason—about the accusations that he erased my memory?”
“Briefly.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“And?”
“And he said he had a few theories—that he would fill me in when I got back from Elysium this week.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Well, he knows something, right? So—”
“Ara, he doesn’t know anything of value. He has theories. I asked him, I probed to see if he might have erased yours or Mike’s minds, but he didn’t give any indication. And he’s a terrible liar. If he’d done anything to you or to Mike, it would’ve come out in my interrogation.”
“Interrogation?”
“A brotherly interrogation,” he said softly, running his hand down my arm. “Stop worrying. I really don’t think anything bad happened between you and Mike that night. He’s always taken good care of you.”
“I know. It’s not like I think he pushed me. I—”
“Really?” he said, curious. “Because that was my first thought just now, when you said he had no memory.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. But it’s unlikely his lapse in memory is connected to yours. He was under a lot of stress back then. And as for you? Well, you hit your head pretty hard, Ara. I think you’re just worrying too much.”
“Yeah.” I snuggled back into his neck. “Maybe.”
The ocean cooled the grounds around Loslilian, sending its sweeping, stormy breeze low across the lands. The last two days, with David being home and, essentially, on holiday, the summer had been warm and the days longer and brighter. But I woke this morning to the sound of thunder and a great, raging storm going on in my heart as well as outside.
We stood on the steps at the front of the manor, a taxi waiting by the fountain, the tears of farewell restrained by formalities, trying to let each other go. I focused on the softness of David’s fingers in mine, running my thumb down his nail. “Try to enjoy yourself at Elysium,” I said. “At least a little bit.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m releasing prisoners I sentenced—some I locked away, never to be seen again, all because my queen has a too kind a heart. I’m not sure I’ll enjoy this, Ara.”
“M’yes, but you’ll be a good boy and do it anyway, won’t you?”
He bowed mockingly. “Yes, My Queen.”
“Good.” I reached up and patted his head. “Now, run along like a good little king, and set your people free.”
He gave a breathy laugh as he turned on his heel, saving the last kiss for a journey across the wind from his lips, to his palm, to me catching and storing it in my pocket.
“Be safe, David.”
“Be strong, Ara.”
I bowed my head once. “I will.”
“Catch ya later, kiddo.” Eric stepped up and hugged me.
I breathed him in deep, committing all of him to memory. “I’m sure I’ll see you again.”
“I’m sure you will.” He winked at me. “I’ll have to come back in twenty years and check out this hot daughter you’ll have.”
I slapped his arm softly. “Good thing I know you’re kidding, or I might be tempted to neuter you.”
He laughed loudly, his fangs showing under that cocky, carefree smile. “Good thing you think the best of me and actually thought I was joking.”
“Get outta here,” I said playfully, shoving him.
He backed away and stood beside David, copping a light punch in the arm.
“Later, Ara.” Quaid elbowed me as he passed. “Take care ‘til I get back, okay?”
“I’ll be okay.” I jerked my head toward Blade. “He follows me when he’s not supposed to.”
Quaid smiled at his three comrades. “Don’t break the record without me, guys. I’ll be back once I’ve delivered the king.”
“We’ll keep it on hold ‘til then,” Falcon said, giving that cool nod of his.
“Great. Catch ya’s.”
“Later.” Blade waved once, and we turned away as David, Quaid and Eric piled into the car.
“What record?” I asked Falcon.
“Darts.”
“Oh. You play darts?”
“Just one of the many ways we fill in time when we’re not stalking you.”
I held still for a moment, watching Falcon’s face carefully. And there it was: the tiniest hint of a smile. “Did you just make a joke?”
He started walking inside as the car pulled away down the drive.
“Seriously?” I probed. “You have a bone of humour in your body?”
He held the door open for me, and I ducked in under his arm, following Emily. “I’m quite a funny guy when I’m not around you.”
“I bring out the worst in you, huh?” I said.
His timid smile made me stop walking for a second. “No, but my job brings out the serious side of me.”
I nodded. “Well, I don’t know the funny side of you, Falcon, but I know I feel safer with your serious side than I do with any other knight on the Core.”
“I know.” He bristled with pride. “Why do you think I’m in charge of the Guard now?”
“Yeah.” Blade slapped Falcon on the shoulder. “This guy should win an award for the size of the steel rod he can cram up his arse.”
Emily and Blade laughed their way down the corridor and out of sight, and I turned to offer Falcon a sympathetic pout.
“I’m not here to earn friends,” he said.
“But they love you anyway.”
“Yeah. When I’m not walking around with that steel rod wedged where the sun don’t shine.”
“So, only when you’re off duty then.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Or off doody.”
“Ha!” I covered my mouth. “That was a pretty good one.”
“Like I said.” He closed the front door. “I’m not all business.”
Chapter Seven
“So, we��ve addressed your tantrums—” Blade pointed to his thumb, “—your naivety and, today, I want to talk some more about respect.”
“Respect?” I slid my bottom back on the tabletop and let my legs dangle. “Who am I not respecting?”
“It’s not your respect for everyone else I have a problem with, Ara. It’s theirs for you.”
“Oh.” I looked down at my knees, tucking my hands under them.
“The general population residing within these walls seems to hold you in reasonably high regard. I’ve checked, talked with them about you,” he said, pacing the floors again like he was lecturing at a university. “It seems to be only your peers, you know, anyone who knew you before you were queen, that haven’t taken a step back yet to notice this transformation you’ve made.”
“Like who?”
“Mike?” Emily said, and my eyes moved upward with Blade’s to the girl leaning her arms over the railing on the second floor balcony.
“That’s one,” Blade said, turning back to me. “Morgaine’s not too bad. King David could use a lesson in the do’s and don’ts of spousal control.”
I laughed. So did Emily.
“He won’t be a problem now, Blade,” I said, shifting over, patting the spot next to me for Em to join. “He apologised for that, and it really . . . It’s not who he is. He’s just been having a hard time.”
Blade bowed his head. “Okay. That’s fine. But the thing is, Ara, it’s not the other people we need to change. It’s you.”
“We need to change me because they disrespect me?” I said flatly.
“Yes,” Emily added, scooping my hand up in hers. “Because you teach people how to treat you, Ara.”
Blade’s eyes went wider for a second, a warm smile narrowing them after. “That’s right, Emily, and you could take a leaf out of your own book, couldn’t you?”
Emily nodded, turning to me. “Ara, Mike babies everyone if they let him.”