“Well, you’re going to help make that possible, Beth,” Gab reminded her. “Braden and I can’t fund this forever with our own money. We need someone with your skills to write for grants, organize fundraising events, find community support and make connections for us.”
“I know, and I appreciate the opportunity,” she said with a sigh. “I just wish I could be more directly involved.”
“Gab turned Cam and Jess into investigators, maybe you’ll wind up being one too,” I suggested. “That would be exciting I would think.”
“Oh yeah!” Jess said with a laugh and rolled her eyes.
“In the meanwhile,” Gab added, “there’s always fiction for romance and excitement. So, Lily, when do we get another dirty book from you?”
“I haven’t had a chance to really focus on it in a while, but as soon as the wedding is over and I’m settled in the new job, I’m really going to work to get another book out. I don’t want to go too long without releasing one.”
“Is Adam helping you research?” Jess asked, lowering her voice.
“Product testing,” Gab answered and quietly filled Jess in on the Bruno story. She was suitably embarrassed for me but also found it very funny. In retrospect, though, even I found it kind of funny now that I was feeling less traumatized.
“I’m really glad that I’ve been warned,” Beth said with a laugh. “Next time I doggie sit, my big girl toys get locked away. Losing my vibrator at this point would be a personal tragedy.”
“It’s just wrong that you don’t have easy access to safe, discreet sex,” I said. “I wish Mark would just ignore the Bro Code for one freaking night.”
We were all leaning in toward each other and at that point, so nobody was paying attention to the sounds coming from the other room. That’s how we lost track of what was going on with the other half of our party. We found out that the guys were no longer distracted when we heard Mark clear his throat from the doorway. We all jumped back with a start and looked up at him in guilty surprise.
“Sorry to interrupt your, uh … conversation, but the game’s over if you would like some male/female interaction,” he said suggestively with a flirty smile at Beth.
She met his gaze directly, and even though she was blushing, her expression said that she was imagining some very interesting male/female interaction indeed. And as for him, I had never seen him look at her that way before. He was looking at her like Braden looked at Gabrielle. Furthermore, everyone in the room realized it, including to the two of them. The sexual tension between them was thick enough to cut with a knife.
“Mark, are you saying that you would like to interact with Beth,” Jess teased, breaking the moment of charged silence.
“Believe me, I’d love to, but I’d like to live to see twenty-eight even more,” he said with a laugh and headed back into the other room. We all looked at Beth simultaneously.
“I might be able to work with that,” Beth said as a huge grin spread slowly across her face. Smiling like that with her cheeks pink and her eyes glowing she really was gorgeous. Mark didn’t stand a chance.
We got up and headed into the living-room, settling ourselves next our respective, and in Beth’s case, prospective, partners. It was interesting watching them together in close physical proximity. She crossed her legs and I saw him glance over and let his eyes travel their length. He rested an arm on the back of the couch and she moved back and over ever so slightly. They were so aware of each other and I could see already that this was escalating beyond just he’s hot/she’s hot. There was a more powerful attraction there. Maybe it had been there for a while, but Mark hadn’t seen it because he hadn’t been looking. Well, he was looking now and that inspired Beth to look more boldly.
Something else occurred to me then. Adam and I had probably been exactly the same way. No wonder it wasn’t any surprise to our friends when we got together after decades of being enemies. They had seen it all along. They knew we wanted each other. So, if we wanted each other so much, why did he have to go out with his buddies and act like a player wannabe? I didn’t think he would actually f**k anyone else, but the thought of him getting a lap dance in some strip club made me sick, and I felt myself getting angry again. It was Gabrielle who brought it all to the surface.
“So, do you guys plan to have a bachelor party for Adam?” she asked lightly and my heart slammed into my chest wall. What was she doing?
“A bachelor party?” Braden repeated, sounding slightly guilty. “Well, uh yeah, I guess we thought it might be fun to have a guy’s night out together in Vegas. You know, explore a little bit.”
“Yeah, maybe have a drink, check out a show,” Cam said with a smile.
“That sounds fun,” Jess said smiling at Cameron brightly. “I guess we’ll have a bachelorette party for Lily too then. I’m sure they have some really good ‘shows’ for ladies.”
“Hang on,” Adam said, sitting up quickly. “What kind of bachelorette party?”
“Maybe we’ll check out some nude co-ed mud wrestling.” I bit out, unsuccessfully trying to keep the tension out of my voice. I had been simmering for too long.
“What, were you eavesdropping?” Adam asked angrily.
“Eavesdropping?!” I sputtered. “I was walking back from the bathroom! You weren’t exactly whispering in code! The next time you want to plan some pre-marital debauchery maybe you could be courteous enough to wait until I’m more than fifty feet away!”
“Pre-marital?! Fuck that, Lilith!” Adam flew to his feet and glared down at me, his face flushed with rage. “We were kidding around! But maybe you feel like you can’t trust me because you’re the kind of person who listens at doorways yourself!” He was livid. My mouth popped open. I felt like he had just punched me in the gut.
“Adam! Lily!” Gab cried out, sounding horrified. “Don’t say anything else! Please! I just wanted to embarrass them a little. I didn’t want this.”
“Yeah, don’t say anything else!” Braden emphasized.
I felt the blood drain out of my face and I went numb. We had lashed out at each other as if all of our time together had been erased, as if it were all a dream. We had turned on each other in seconds and gone right for the jugular. “We can’t do this anymore,” I mumbled, and suddenly Adam looked like a cornered animal, angry and scared.
“Please go into the other room and apologize to each other and talk,” Gabrielle implored.
I stood up on shaky legs and started to follow her to the bedroom. When I had gone a few steps, though, I realized that Adam hadn’t moved. I stopped walking, turned and just stared at him, terrified. It felt like my blood froze in my veins and I couldn’t breathe. I looked into his eyes, silently begging him to come with me, to make it right again somehow. There had to be a way to make it right because if we didn’t my heart would die.
And then he started to follow and I almost passed out with relief. I went into the bedroom with Gabrielle and Adam followed me in. Then she left and shut the door. I couldn’t look at him so I just stared the floor. We were silent for a few seconds and then he spoke, his voice filled with pain.
“Are you going to leave me?” I looked up, stunned, and then even more stunned, when I saw his eyes. I had never seen such anguish before. It hit me like a hammer to the ribs. My throat got so tight that I couldn’t breathe and I gasped. Then I broke down.
“Why would you even ask that?” I sobbed and more collapsed than sat on the bed. My whole body was shaking.
“You said, ‘We can’t do this anymore’ and the look on your face was like, ‘I can’t believe I was going to marry this asshole’.” He sounded a like a hurt and frightened child.
“I meant we couldn’t attack each other anymore,” I answered, barely intelligible. I knew that I was ugly crying at that point but I didn’t care. Through a blur of tears, I saw him release a ragged breath.
“Thank f**k you told me,” he said, voice breaking. “I would have gone nuts. I don’t know what I would have done.”
“When you didn’t come right away, I thought…” I couldn’t finish. It was too painful “Please don’t leave me,” I begged.
He crossed the room instantly and sat beside me on the bed, pulling me into his arms as I clutched onto him for dear life. “Lily, baby, I love you so much. I was just stunned for a second. I would … I would never.” I knew that he was still fighting to keep his emotions under control.
“I trust you. I do. I promise.”
He buried his face in my hair. “You have no reason not to. Lily, I swear that we were joking around about the nude co-ed mud-wrestling. We probably would have gone to some Vegas burlesque show, but, if anything, it would have just made me want to get back to you faster. In fact, I would probably picture you doing whatever they were doing.”
“I imagined you getting a lap dance at a strip club.”
“You think I would risk throwing away what we have together for a cheap hook-up with some stripper?”
“No, not really. I was feeling jealous but also guilty and defensive. I didn’t listen at the doorway, but I paused when I heard you talking. Oh God, why would I attack you like that?”
“I should never have said that. You’re right. We can’t do this shit anymore, Lily. Bickering is one thing, but not this.”
“We’re not kids anymore. We have to act like adults, even when we fight.”
“I agree. So do we have a deal? No more personal attacks or lashing out like that.”
“Yeah, it’s a deal.” I hugged him as tightly as I could.
“And we stop questioning whether or not the other person is going to leave, because it’s not going to happen.” He hugged me back fiercely. “We love each other too much to run away as soon as things get tough.”
“You’re right,” I answered in a shaky voice.
“Now, we’re going to get cleaned up and go reassure our friends that we’re good and then we are going to go home and have really great make-up sex. And then we’re going to get some sleep, because tomorrow Thanksgiving weekend is over and it’s back to the crazy.”
When Adam and I returned to the living-room holding hands, our friends breathed a collective sigh of relief. We went back to our love seat in a much more loving frame of mind.
“We’re sorry we upset everybody,” I said, unable to make eye contact, my face burning. “We’re not going to fight like that anymore,” Adam put in, pulling me close to him.
“I’m the one who’s sorry,” Gab said. “I shouldn’t have brought it up like that.”
“How about if we do a joint bachelor and bachelorette party?” Braden suggested.
“You can have a guy’s night out. Go watch your burlesque show, drink your scotch, and smoke your cigars. I trust Adam and he should be able to hang out with his friends for a night.” He pulled me even closer and kissed the top of my head.
“Well, we’ll have a girl’s night, honey,” Jess said. “Since Adam knows he can trust you, too. We’ll go see a male revue, drink our girlie drinks, talk about sex and dance.”
“Bruce will be so happy,” I said with small smile. And with that, our dark moment passed.
Chapter Fourteen
Monday it was back to court. As if that wasn’t stressful enough, when I got back to my office, there was a message from my mother waiting for me. It was a demand that I find myself a suitable wedding gown as soon as possible, and the news that my father would be bringing his new, very young, girlfriend to our wedding. I could actually hear her clenching teeth in the message.
I called her back and told her that I would handle picking out my wedding gown, when and how I chose. Furthermore, my father could bring whomever he wanted, but if he embarrassed me, I would have no qualms about asking him to leave.
I hung up the phone and sat staring straight ahead, as anger, adrenaline and anxiety mixed together like a Molotov cocktail in my body. Then, I got up and went to find Adam. I knew that Braden would be in court for a while yet, and Adam would have his office to himself.
I knocked on his door and poked my head inside. He was on the phone, but he looked up and pointed to the chair on the other side of his desk. I sat down and waited for his call to end. When he hung a few minutes later, he looked at me quizzically.
“My mother is already pressuring me about my gown, and my dad is bringing some young bimbo to our wedding.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No. I told her to kiss off, but now I’m tense. I need a distraction.”
“Like preparing cases?” he asked, with a smile, sounding like he didn’t think I was talking about preparing cases.
“Will you let me give you a bl*w j*b?” I asked calmly, like that was a perfectly reasonable request while at the office in the middle of the day.
“Here? In the office of the District Attorney of Philadelphia? Where we work?” His eyes went to windows on the far wall that faced out toward the building across from us. When I turned and followed his gaze, I could see people moving around in those offices, so theoretically, they could also see us.
“They won’t see anything if you’re sitting behind your desk.”
“And how will this relieve your tension?”
“It makes me feel good to give you pleasure and the happy brain chemicals will negate the bad ones. Besides, Mother Nature paid her monthly visit this morning, so it’s all I can do. Come on Adam, let me suck your cock,” I said giving him a sexy look and I could see him getting turned on. He was breathing faster and starting to look flushed.