“I know. And thank you.” It’s not going to be difficult to remember to try to please Aunt Claire so she’ll continue to let me stay. She just makes it come naturally.
***
The library has always been my sanctuary. A place I’d go to escape the reality of my often screwed-up existence. Back in Texas, I’d spend hours alone in the stacks, sitting on the floor flipping through old books, the smell of musty paperbacks strangely comforting— different than the smell of must in our old trailer.
Allie waves to me excitedly from the long table as soon as I walk in, her smile contagious. I’d stood outside a few minutes before coming in, seriously debating on whether or not to go inside. After the long day of firsts, I wasn’t sure I was ready for any more. But seeing Allie actually looking happy to see me somehow quells my fear.
“Hey, this is Cory and Keller,” Allie says, introducing me to the others already seated at the table. Both look vaguely familiar. I must have seen them in English class today, but after taking in a thousand new faces, I’m a bit too overwhelmed to remember much about any single person.
It takes less than three minutes sitting at the table, before the group dynamic is clear. Keller Daughtry looks like a linebacker, an intimidating one. I wouldn’t be surprised if he growled instead of spoke. He’s broad and muscular, with short, cropped hair and loads of bite in everything he says. But it’s the kind of sarcastic wit that’s said with a grin, and the group looks like they enjoy poking the lion almost as much as he enjoys delivering the lashing. Cory is the quiet one of the trio. She smiles and laughs, taking in the exchanges among the group rather than jumping into the middle.
“So what’s your story?” Keller asks, bending back his chair on its hind legs, his arms folded over his chest.
“My story?” I know what he’s asking, yet the question catches me off guard.
“Yeah. You know, where’d you move from? You play any sports? Is Allie going to have to carry your ass in this project too, like she does mine?” Keller shrugs. “Your story.”
All eyes turn to me. I do my best to feign casual, even though I’m anything but comfortable talking about my story. “Ummm…I moved here from Texas. I ran track at school. And I hope Allison doesn’t have to carry me.” Keller watches me intently, unsure what to make of what he sees, so, without thinking, I let who I am slip out to show him. Arching one eyebrow, I intentionally graze my eyes across the girth of him before I speak. “I’m not sure she can carry my ass, since she’s probably already suffocating under the weight of yours.”
Keller throws his head back and laughs. “You’re going to fit right in, although I’m not sure I can put up with another smartass in the group.”
We discuss our project choices until a little before the library closes, the hours passing more like minutes. Allie has a passion for reading that brings everyone into the story, even Keller, who I get the feeling isn’t always the greatest student.
Allie and I talk for a few minutes out front as I wait for my aunt. “So, you run track?”
“Yeah, you?”
She laughs. “Definitely not. I run like a duck. Running isn’t my thing. I played soccer for a little while when I was a kid. My dad really wanted a jock. With two girls, luckily my little brother came along and it took some of the pressure off us. I try to stick to sports that don’t entail running.” She pauses, then adds, “Zack runs track.”
“Your brother?” I ask with a furrowed brow.
“No. Zack’s the other person in our group.” She looks at me blankly for a second. “He plays football too.”
“Oh. Is he sick or something?” The minute the question leaves my mouth, Allie’s face changes. Sadness covers her usually sunny smile. I immediately regret asking the question.
She attempts to recover her smile, but fails to make it even slightly believable. “I’m hoping he comes back soon.”
Aunt Claire couldn’t have better timing as she pulls up, I’d stuck my foot in my mouth enough for one day.
Chapter 15
Zack—
Wednesday
I knew it was coming before my parents sat me down. It was only a matter of time. I was out of school the last few months after Emily died and then a whole summer passed. I think Mom and Dad were afraid to argue with me yesterday, when I said I wasn’t going for the first day of school, but they aren’t going to let this go any further— at least that’s what I overheard Dad saying to Mom after dinner. So tonight, they pulled the plug on my avoidance. Tomorrow is going to suck.
Rather than try to spend time convincing them that I should stay home, I decide to go for a run. I’ve been running a lot lately. Music blaring in my ears, feet pounding hard on the concrete beneath my feet, nothing else seems to clear my head. I take the new route I’ve been tracking, unable to bring myself to follow any of the paths that Emily and I usually ran. I slow as I reach the library. Allie’s car is outside. So is Keller’s. I’ve felt guilty about the way I spoke to her the night she came to see me. She was only trying to help. She’s texted me a few times since then, but I didn’t answer any of the texts. The only ones I’ve returned were a few of Keller’s, because I knew he would show up if I didn’t.
Instead of continuing on my run, I take a deep breath, lower the volume on my iPod, wipe the sweat from my brow and make my way into the library.
They’re at our usual table. Allie’s back is to me, so she doesn’t see my approach, but Keller nods in my direction, a guy greeting of hello.