“It’s still crazy for me, too,” he said, smiling softly at me.
“And the videos!”
He cringed. “Oh, fuck, don’t get me started on the videos.”
I laughed. “As if I wouldn’t. They’re awesome. Your latest one with you singing in that café to that girl–”
“Stop,” he cut in, looking adorably embarrassed.
“Why?” I was tempted to poke him in the ribs if I wasn’t so scared of touching him. “You looked like you had some serious chemistry with that girl.”
“Probably because I imagined it was you.”
I balked. My insides literally seized as I tried to act casual. “Sure, you did.”
“Why do you think she looked like you so much?”
“She didn’t.”
He bit his bottom lip, resisting a grin. “Leah, she did.”
He was being serious, and I thought back at the video. I could only vaguely remember the girl because I’d been more focused on staring at him. If it was true… well, I didn’t know what to say either way.
“Well, it was a very good song,” I told him. “I can see why you guys are huge.”
“I miss the quiet,” he murmured. “I didn’t expect us to hit it off so fast. I thought it’d be gradual. The record label rushed us along with the first album. I had some other stuff in my head I wanted to put down, but they weren’t interested.”
“Why weren’t they interested?”
“Because we were still hot off those videos.”
“Oh.”
“And now they’re trying to get us to push out another record. My brain’s dead.” He shook his head. “I can’t think.”
My brows furrowed. I stepped closer to him and thought about resting a friendly hand on his arm, but I resisted. “You need some inspiration.”
He turned his head to me, his blue eyes taking me in ravenously. “You were my inspiration,” he whispered. “I don’t think there’s a song on there that didn’t come from us, but you know that already, don’t you?”
My body heated, and I forced a nod. “Yeah.”
I’d read every lyric of every song of his, and I was able to connect the moments behind them without even thinking.
“I don’t hear words anymore, Leah,” he continued. “Not the way I did with you.”
I froze as he brought his hand up to me. His finger slowly slid down the side of my face, and the touch stirred something within me I hadn’t felt in an eternity. Carter looked at me desperately, and I blinked away the ache behind my eyes.
“Maybe…” Maybe what? Christ, I didn’t know. “Maybe…Molly will help you out with that now.”
Yes, remind yourself he’s with another girl. A lovely, dense, two dimensional doll that’s famous for being famous.
He rolled his eyes, a fleeting look of irritation passing them. “I’m not in a relationship with Molly. What we had was over before it even began. I tried with her. I thought she was bright at first, but the more I got to know her, the more I realized the light may have been on, but nothing was really going on up there. Her mind’s an empty fucking place, filled with Prada bags and pumps.”
“So why is she here?”
“You should ask her. I think it’s a publicity thing because I’m currently red-hot and the label’s loving it. She’ll find some other sucker to stalk. At the moment, though, wherever Alyssa goes, she follows, and she loves the attention. Loves the paparazzi taking photos of us next to each other, so they could go and report their false bullshit. I don’t think I’ve touched her in over four months, when I first started to get to know her, and that was only a brief fling that resulted in her having a mental breakdown because I had to start touring. I’d been with her no more than a couple weeks.”
I was confused. “But the magazines –”
“Lies, just lies. Never believe a word of them. They’ll do what they can to make a story out of you. One minute they’re on your side, and the next they’re dishing dirt against you.”
He looked at me closely then, a thoughtful smile on his face as he added, “I never took you to be a media slut.”
I shook my head adamantly. “I’m not! I don’t go on those sites or anything.”
Such. A. Liar.
He chuckled, seeing right through me. “You stalk me online, Angel?”
“No!” I looked insulted, like doing that was beneath me, even though it totally wasn’t. “You can live under a rock and still hear things about you, Carter.”
“I guess,” he said softly. “Anyway, Molly’s not going to stick around tonight. She’s got a photoshoot in the morning, or some shit. Her ride’s kicking around. She’ll be gone soon.”
“That’s good.”
He smiled again at my happy remark, and I sighed and added, “I mean, it’s good that she won’t be bothering you.”
“Right,” he muttered.
We stared at one another for a few moments. He pulled me apart with just one look. My body was frightfully aware of him, so completely sensitive to his every move and look. I hadn’t felt this way in… well, over three years. I didn’t like it, and it needed to stop.
“We should get back –”
“Don’t try and leave,” he then breathed out, cutting me straight off. “I know you want to, but don’t run away.”
“I’m not,” I lied, again.
Looking suddenly conflicted, he said, “I…I missed you.”
I nodded, unsure of why he was looking the way he was. “I missed you too.”
“No.” He shook his head, swallowing hard. “No, Leah, you don’t understand. I…I fucked up. Badly. I let things happen before. I let you slip away from me. I fucked up. I’ve been wanting to come and tell you that for so long now, but every time I try, someone’s stopping me. That’s why I sent the letters. I fucked up, badly.”
I froze as he raised his hand again. He studied me closely, and his hand shook before falling back to his side. He suddenly looked all wrong. Like he was panicky and anxious. This entire conversation was taking a turn I wasn’t ready for. If he was saying what I think he was…