Again, I glimpsed at him.
Again, he was looking at me.
He hadn’t said a word. I was sure I’d feel a little better if he spoke to me casually, like the past was behind us. Yet it felt like the opposite.
Not wanting to stand around and look lost, I decided to help Marlena carry out the trays of snacks on the table. It was on the trip there that I instantly regretted doing it. I was only feet away from Carter, and I felt dizzy from the nerves. Confidence, confidence. But that was easier said than done. I’d never felt this rattled in my life. The tray I picked up quaked in my hands, and on their own, my eyes lifted up again to his.
He was still staring at me.
What is it? I wanted to ask him. Why are you looking at me like that? Do you hate me?
I didn’t realize the tray had tilted on its side, until the crackers fell off, landing noisily on the table. I startled and looked down, feeling my cheeks heat in embarrassment as I quickly picked them all up one by one. It could have been a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity to me. Blushing even harder, I stilled when a big hand reached over and grabbed at a few others. I knew that hand; it had been on me – and in me –in ways that were both sinful and sweet.
Startled, I watched Carter pick up the rest and place them on the tray. I wanted to thank him for the help, but his eyes appeared harder than before, cutting through me like a knife.
“Sorry,” I whispered, and I wasn’t really sure as to what I was sorry for. The crackers? The last three years of zero communication? Or maybe I was apologizing to myself for being a fucking idiot, driving him away from me to follow his dreams.
Stupid dreams. Who needed them anyway?
“It’s normal,” Molly then said, wrapping her slender hand around Carter’s bulging bicep. “Carter’s used to fans acting like star-struck idiots around him.”
Star-struck idiots. Well, then…
Glaring at her, I was half-tempted to smash the tray over her head for that remark, but I didn’t want to go to jail tonight. The last thing I needed was a criminal record weeks before applying for accounting positions.
Instead, I used my tongue.
“Well, without those star-struck idiots, he’d be absolutely nothing,” I told her sweetly.
Ignoring my tone, she smiled brightly, showing me every perfectly aligned tooth and replied, “The band doesn’t need a fan-base to be huge. Their music carries itself.”
I raised a brow. Was she a fucking idiot? “That’s like saying a book can be a masterpiece without a single person reading it.”
She shook her head and glanced at Carter. “Some people just don’t understand art, baby.”
Like your pig art? I wanted to ask, but then that would appear obvious I’d taken seconds out of my precious life to look this bitch up. I refused to give the gorgeous looking giraffe the satisfaction.
Carter didn’t respond to her. He seemed to be at a loss for words as he shook his arm from her grasp.
Oh, boy, trouble in paradise.
I stiffly turned away from this odd as hell conversation and hurried into the kitchen, nearly tripping over my feet in the process. I set the tray down and studied my shaking hands.
What was happening to me?
I wasn’t a clumsy girl. I was usually so sure of myself around others, even if I was faking it most of the time. But Carter’s mere presence had penetrated straight through my armour. If I’d known he would be here, I might have at least emotionally prepared myself for it. But it’d come out of nowhere! I’d had literally no time to come to grips with this.
It was shock, I told myself. Just shock. Nothing more.
He’s bad for you.
Yes, he was.
And stop imagining him naked.
I wasn’t.
Liar.
I took a few deep breaths and stared out of the entrance way and into the living room. He couldn’t see me from where I stood, but Molly could. Her eyes were pinned to my head, and her thin lips were raised into a smile.
She knew.
I wanted to stab her eyes out with a fork for looking so smug.
I stayed in the kitchen, feeling like shit that Marlena was doing all the work, but I couldn’t push myself to go back out there. I turned to the sink and occupied myself with the dishes for a very long while. At least this way I had an excuse to stay here.
“Come eat, Leah,” Marlena hounded me from the living room. “You love Chinese food, and the boys are putting a huge dent into it already!”
“Just washing the dishes,” I yelled back. Washing the same ones over and over again, mind you.
“That’s what dishwashers are for, darling.”
“I know, but –”
“Just come in and enjoy yourself! Rome’s talking about the concert they had the other night! Apparently, it was amazing!”
You have no idea.
“I’ll be right there.” I sighed and shut the water off. God, there was no escape, was there? This was like torture without one moment of respite. I dried my hands and rejoined them. Everyone was seated, and Marlena motioned me to a dining chair she’d pulled out of the dining room and placed around the coffee table. By how relaxed everyone looked, I guess it seemed more convenient eating in here.
I took a seat and stared at everyone but Carter. The girls weren’t interested in the food. I caught Molly taking a selfie next to Carter, shooting a duckface with crazy wide eyes. Oh, my God. I cringed before catching Carter’s eye. His lips lifted up just barely, clearly catching my expression. How did I get to looking at him again?
Rome was talking about their tour, and I watched him in complete awe. I wanted to think that he seemed different because I hadn’t seen him in forever, but deep inside, I knew that wasn’t the case. His whole mannerism had changed. He’d gone from being humble and tentative, to this loud, cocky rocker, talking about his car collection and a third house he was looking to buy in Puerto Rico.
I could see where this was going…
“Careful,” I found myself saying without stopping. “A fool and their money are easily parted.”
He paused and stared at me for a beat, his brows slowly pinching together.
“What is she saying?” his Melanie-look-alike asked in confusion.
“She’s saying Rome’s gonna go broke,” Carter answered in a low voice.
It was the first time he’d spoken.
I met his eye again, and my chest pinched. He hadn’t touched his food, but he was drinking like a fish. On the table in front of him were two bottles of beer and he was holding a third one.