Her son was getting into everything these days, growing like a dandelion in lush green grass. He was a constant source of joy. Nichole was eager to get pregnant with a second child. She smiled as she set breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. Owen sat on the floor, playing with his xylophone, looking up at her gleefully as he made a racket.
He’d outgrown his morning naps shortly after his first birthday but could be counted on to take a two-hour nap every afternoon. Nichole used the time to work in the garden, which she loved.
The small vegetable garden she’d planted in their backyard had yielded lettuce and cucumbers and a small pumpkin that was the perfect size for her son. They’d be carving it soon.
If Nichole had any concern, it was the long hours her husband put into his job. Jake came home at the end of the day, emotionally drained and physically exhausted. Lately she noticed that he seemed a little depressed. She’d hoped driving his new BMW would lift his spirits, and it had in the beginning, but lately she’d sensed a growing discontent in him. Just recently she’d suggested that he consider changing jobs, seeing how demanding this one seemed to be. He wouldn’t have a problem finding other employment, especially with his successful background with the wine company.
By noon, the autumn day had cooled considerably. The weather was forecasting snow flurries in the foothills. Karen had sent her an email that morning that said Spokane had already had their first snowfall of the year. Cassie had emailed that rain was in the forecast in Seattle. Autumn was upon them.
The doorbell chimed and Nichole grabbed a kitchen towel to wipe her hands before answering. She wasn’t expecting anyone, especially mid-morning.
She opened the door to find her mother-in-law standing on the other side.
“Leanne, this is a surprise,” Nichole said, holding open the door for her.
Owen toddled toward her with outstretched arms.
“How’s my boy?” Leanne asked, leaning down and scooping up Owen. She spread eager kisses across his face and Owen squealed with delight.
“I hope you don’t mind me stopping by unannounced.”
“Of course not,” Nichole said, leading her mother-in-law toward the kitchen. “How about a cup of coffee? It’s chilly out today. I collected the mail earlier and was sorry I hadn’t put on a sweater.”
Leanne pulled out a chair and bounced Owen on her knee until he grew bored and wanted down. Eager to display his great musical ability, he returned to his xylophone and happily beat away. He really was a cheerful little boy.
Leanne was a wonderful grandmother, and in a recent conversation Nichole had shared her desire to have another baby. Her mother-in-law had been thrilled. She didn’t ask outright if Nichole was pregnant; she wouldn’t, that wasn’t her way. She looked a bit pensive, doubtful. Nichole thought to clear the air.
“I was hoping I’d get pregnant this month,” she said, as she delivered two mugs of coffee to the table. “Unfortunately, my period started yesterday.”
“Some things are meant to be,” Leanne said, but didn’t quite meet Nichole’s eyes.
“I was really hoping this time.”
“I always wanted more than one child,” Leanne said, as she reached for her coffee. “But it didn’t happen for me.” She hesitated and looked out the sliding glass door toward the patio, and when she spoke she lowered her voice. “It wasn’t until Jake was in junior high that I learned that Sean had had a vasectomy without my knowledge.”
“Oh.” Shocked, Nichole hardly knew what to say. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
Again her mother-in-law looked into the distance. “I’m sure you can figure out why Sean would do such a thing and not tell me.”
“Well … I …” Again Nichole was at a loss for words, although there’d been plenty of rumors floating around regarding her father-in-law’s extramarital affairs.
“You can’t imagine how upset I was when I learned what he’d done. I hungered for another baby and desperately yearned for a daughter, but it never happened, and when I discovered why, it was too late.”
“You’ve been like a mother to me,” Nichole said, and gently patted Leanne’s hand.
“Oh dear,” she whispered. “I told myself I wasn’t going to do this.” She reached for her purse, opened it, and searched for a tissue.
“Leanne, what is it?” Nichole asked. She’d never seen her mother-in-law this upset.
Leanne dabbed at her eyes, sipped her coffee, and took a couple minutes to compose herself. “I believe we were married about three years before I learned that Sean was having an affair. Hindsight being what it is, I should have divorced him then. I didn’t because Jake was a toddler, around the same age as Owen, and deeply attached to his dad, much the same way Owen is to Jake.”
“Did you … never mind.”
“Did I what?”
“Sorry, this isn’t any of my business.” At times like this, Nichole wished she thought before she spoke.
“Did I confront Sean?” Leanne asked. “Is that what you want to know?”
Nichole nodded.
“No, fool that I was, I turned my head and looked the other way and pretended it didn’t matter. Sean was a good provider. There’d never been a divorce in my family and I was too embarrassed to tell my parents what I’d learned. All those excuses sound so weak now.” She dabbed at her eyes again and then blew her nose.
“I’m so sorry,” Nichole whispered, wishing she had some words of consolation, of comfort.
“Sean got the vasectomy so he wouldn’t be in danger of getting any of his girlfriends pregnant. When I learned what he’d done, I was outraged. I felt cheated and cheapened. I threatened a divorce and Sean begged me to stay. He never admitted to sleeping with other women, but he was well aware that I knew. He promised to remain faithful, and for a period of about six months I think he was, but it didn’t take long for him to return to his old ways. It’s part of his nature, the need for conquest.
“Funny, isn’t it?” Leanne asked, although she didn’t really seem to want Nichole to answer.
“Funny?” she repeated.
“Even now I’m making excuses for Sean.” Leanne looked down at the wadded tissue in her hand.
Nichole knew why Leanne had stopped by unexpectedly. After thirty years of marriage, she’d had enough. She was going to ask Sean for a divorce and she wanted her and Jake to know. “Leanne,” she said softly. “I hope you realize that whatever you decide in your marriage, Jake and I will support you.”
Her mother-in-law turned to look at her for the first time since they’d started this conversation. “Whatever I decide?” she asked. “What do you mean?”
“I thought … I’m sorry if I misunderstood. I thought you were here to tell me you’re about to ask Sean for a divorce.”
Leanne gave a short, humorless laugh. “By all that is right, I should. I should have done it years ago when I was young. I might have had a chance of finding happiness with a man who understood the meaning of fidelity and commitment. A man who is honorable.”
“Leanne,” Nichole protested. “You’re not old. You’re a beautiful woman.” She wasn’t just saying that, either. “You’re one of the warmest, most generous-hearted women I’ve ever known. I bless the day I married into this family. I wasn’t joking when I said that you’re like a mother to me.”
Fresh tears moistened Leanne’s eyes and rained down her cheeks.
Without either of them noticing, Owen had toddled away and returned with a box of tissues, looking up at her with big beautiful eyes, so like his father’s.
The action was just the comic relief needed to break the tension. Both women laughed. Leanne reached for her grandson and lifted him onto her lap to kiss him again. Owen struggled, twisting away, and Leanne set him back down on the floor. He disappeared and returned with a wooden puzzle and sat down at Nichole’s feet, pulling out all the pieces and then promptly replacing them again, smiling up at her, awaiting her praise.
“Good job, Owen,” she said.