“Get Janine,” I rasp, glaring at Jackson. “The least you can do is make sure that after all this, she doesn’t get hurt.”
I put my head down then, and I let them lead me inside.
I want to die.
CHAPTER 18
SERENITY
The truck is hot, and bouncy. I’m stuck, head down, in a group of thirty, in a truck that’s not really big enough for us all. Janine and Ebony are squashed up beside me; Muff went and got both of them as soon as I asked. Cade and Spike are driving, and Jackson is standing at the back of the truck, staring down at all of us cramped in like a bunch of prisoners. His eyes haven’t fallen on me once.
Not once.
I’m shaking, and my stomach is turning violently. I’m not sure if it’s the sticky heat in the back here, or if it’s because of everything that went down. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Either way, I’m about to lose anything I ate this morning. I would say something, but what’s the point? Jackson hates me. No, that doesn’t even cover it; he despises me and no doubt wishes I would burn alive in front of him.
My stomach turns again.
I begin rubbing it frantically with my cuffed hands, and sweat starts to pour heavily down my head. Janine looks over to me and her eyes narrow. “Honey, are you ok?”
I shake my head, feeling bile rise up in my throat. Janine shoves and pushes until she manages to get to her feet. “You need to stop.”
“Can’t,” Jackson grunts.
“She’s going to be sick, she’s pregnant you asshole. She’s dehydrated, and tied up like a fucking dog. You need to stop.”
Jackson’s eyes turn to me, and I begin to gag. I try to hold it back, but there’s no stopping it. My head drops, my mouth opens, and I throw up all down the front of my shirt. Tears stream down my face from a mix of shame and the horrible aching feeling in my stomach. I hear Jackson thump the window, as the bikers start to groan.
“Stop the truck.”
The truck comes to a stop, and a moment later the back swings open. The bikers move aside, but they know they can’t get out until the area has been checked. I slip out of the tiny gap in the back, and the moment the fresh air hits my face, I gasp. I look around; we’re on a dirt track, surrounded by thick, lush trees.
“No one around, open it up,” Spike says. “We ain’t bein’ followed, and we’ll hear a car from a mile or so away.”
Cade opens the back of the truck, and everyone scrambles out. Addison rushes over to me, but I slap her hands away, just wanting to be left alone. I walk towards the trees.
“Serenity!” Spike calls. “Can’t go in there.”
I spin around, panting. “I’m covered in spew, I’m cuffed, where the fuck do you want me to go?”
He gives me a sympathetic look. “Come here, I’ve got some water and a shirt, I’ll uncuff you.”
“Not wise,” Jackson grunts.
I storm over, so angry, so ashamed, and I shove him hard in the chest. “Fuck you Jackson! What do you think I’m going to do? Whip out a gun and shoot the lot of you?”
“I wouldn’t fuckin’ know, ‘coz you’re a fuckin’ liar!”
“I had no choice,” I scream. “What would you have done?”
“That’s beside the point, we ain’t talkin’ about me.”
I’m shaking all over, I smell, and I look like crap, but I don’t care. “How dare you be so judgmental. How dare you! You would die for your daughter, yet it’s not ok for me to look after the only family I know. Fuck you.”
“I shouldn’t be the one you’re fuckin’ angry at,” he roars. “You should be fuckin’ angry at yourself. You’re the lying, cheating, scumbag.”
I jerk, and clench my jaw. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were different. I can’t believe I thought this club was something different. You’re not. You’re just like him. A cold hearted pig. I can’t believe I ever let myself love you.”
His body jerks, and his eyes widen with a mix of both hurt and anger. I spin before he can answer, and I hurry towards the front of the truck. Spike follows me, and carefully uncuffs my hands when we stop. Then he hands me a bottle of water.
“He’s hurt,” he says gently. “Give it time.”
“I don’t want, or need time,” I say in a monotone. “I just want out of here.”
Spike sighs, but says nothing as I strip off my shirt and rinse my stomach. Then I pull on a shirt of his, and raise my hands so he can slap on those awful cuffs again. He does, giving me a gentle expression.
“I know what he’s like,” he says.
“None of you know what he’s like,” I hiss.
“I do, he killed my wife. I saw it. I’ve seen how bad he is. I know you ain’t a bad person; you just have to understand that club rules are club rules. We have to do this.”
I look down, and my eyes burn again. I’m sure it’s from dehydration just as much as it is emotion. “I never wanted to hurt anyone; I did the best I could.”
“Yeah,” he says, patting my shoulder. “I know you did.”
“She can ride up front with us,” Cade says, coming around the side of the truck. “There’s room next to Ciara. Addison said she’d sit up back for a while with Jackson.”
“No, it’s ok,” I whisper.
Ciara and Addison walk around the truck then, and Addi walks over, a little more careful this time. “You’re pregnant; you need to be out of that heat. We’re nearly there, it’s ok.”