“Were you going?” he murmurs against my back.
“Actually,” I whisper. “I need to pee.”
He chuckles, and lets me go. “Sorry.”
I giggle. “It’s ok, it’s not every day you wake up with a sexy man pressed against you, ready for action.”
“You might have to do all the work, it’s too late.”
I grunt, and roll, throwing my legs over the side of the bed. I stomp quietly into the bathroom, and flick on the light. I do what I have to do, peer at myself in the mirror and cringe at my hair, then I walk back out. I’m about to climb back into the bed, when I hear Addison screaming downstairs. Jackson groans and sits up.
“Fuckin’ seriously?” he grumbles.
“Fuck you, Cade! I don’t want to hear it!” Addi screams.
My body tingles, shit, I’m in Jackson’s room. In his bed. How is that going to look if Addison finds me here? What the hell am I doing? I lean down, scurrying about to find something to wear, only to realize I left my dress downstairs. Oh. My. God. Groaning, I pick up one of Jackson’s shirts instead. He’s so tall it goes nearly to my knees, so I give up on trying to find bottoms. Screw the panties.
“Jesus, sugar, stop bein’ so over dramatic about it!” Cade yells.
“Oh fuck off!” Addison throws back.
I sigh. Great. Jackson grumbles something, and climbs out of the bed.
“I should go back to my room.”
He doesn’t answer. I don’t know if it’s because he’s not listening, or if he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me to leave. I walk to the door, and open it quietly, before tiptoeing down the hall to my room. I close the door as soon as I get in, leaning against it, and listening a while. I hear Jackson go downstairs, and start barking orders at Cade. I hear protesting from Addison, and then I hear the front door slam. I hear light murmuring after that, which is Jackson soothing Addison.
My heart burns.
What game am I playing at?
I push off the door, just as my phone rings. Who the hell is ringing me so late? I dig though my purse until I find it, and then I put it to my ear, not checking the caller I.D.
“Hello?”
“The fuck have you been?” Hogan barks down the line.
I feel my entire body stiffen, and I quickly scurry towards the window and lower my voice.
“I forgot to charge my phone.”
“How many fuckin’ times do I need to pull you into line, Serenity? You are fuckin’ wastin’ my time, and I’ll pull you out soon if you don’t start delivering.”
Panic washes through me. If he pulls me out, then I can’t protect the club and they’ll get hurt. I have to think quick.
“I have information,” I lie. “I was just making sure it was correct before I gave it to you.”
“You bring something good to me tomorrow, or I’m fuckin’ takin’ you out. You’re a fuckin’ waste of space, you know that?”
Of course I knew that. He told me daily when I was a child.
“I...I know.”
“Useless fuckin’ woman. I ring, you answer the fuckin’ phone. Don’t? I’ll fuckin’ make sure you don’t disobey me again.”
I shudder, and tears leak out of my eyes and down my cheeks.
“I got it,” I rasp.
“Tomorrow, you better have something good. Don’t make me hurt the kid. ‘Coz I fuckin’ will.”
Then he hangs up. Everything I felt in the last few hours goes rushing down the drain. I’m playing with fire, and I’m sure to get burned. There’s no way around it. Someone is going to get hurt. Someone I love.
“Serenity?”
I hear Jackson knocking at my door, and I can’t bring myself to move to answer it. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves better. I shouldn’t be doing this to him. I see the door crack open, and he steps in, wearing only a pair of black jeans. I cry harder. God dammit. Why does he have to be so fucking perfect? Why couldn’t I have met him on a normal day? He would have saved me. I have no doubt about it. Why does it have to be like this?
“What?” he says, confused.
He walks in, stopping in front of me, staring down at me with a concerned expression. “You hurtin’?”
“No, but...Jackson, we can’t do that again.”
He looks confused. God, I’m such an awful person. He doesn’t understand why I’m acting like a crazy person. Wanting him. Not wanting him.
“Why not?” he asks, kneeling down so he’s at my level.
“Because, it’s wrong, and we shouldn’t do it.”
“That really what you want?” he murmurs.
“Yes, I don’t want this.”
“Baby, you’re lyin’. What happened?”
“I just don’t want it!” I cry, glaring at him. “Ok?”
He shakes his head. “If I believed you, I would walk away, but I don’t. I don’t fuckin’ believe you.”
“Jackson!” I rasp. “Stop.”
He shakes his head, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around me, lifting me up and turning until he reaches my bed. He lays me down on it, bringing his hard body over mine.
“I ain’t done, and I know you ain’t either,” he says, his lips sliding over my shoulder. “Until we are, we ain’t havin’ regrets.”
“I’m too young, you can do better and...”