“Oh,” I say, feeling my cheeks heat. “No, it’s ok.”
“What do you plan on doin’? Wastin’ money on a cab?”
“Well, um, yeah...it’s the least I can do. You’ve let me stay here and...”
He waves a hand, cutting me off, and grips his keys. “You had nowhere to go, my daughter inherited my soft heart, and so here you are. It’s fine.”
“I know, but I feel like I’m crashing your space, and...”
He puts a hand up, giving me a look. “I’m fine with it.”
Our eyes meet, and I quickly look away. “Ok then, I’ll just get my purse.”
“No.”
I stop and stare at him, confused. “No?”
“It’s my house, my fridge you’re fillin’. I’ll give you the money.”
“Jackson, no, it’s fine.”
He gives me a hard look. “I said I got it.”
I nod, defeated. He’s not going to back down; I know enough about bikers to know they aren’t going to give in if they set their mind to something.
“I’ll just grab a few things, and then I’ll meet you in the truck.”
I nod, hurrying outside until I reach his truck. I slide in the passenger seat, suddenly feeling nerves flutter about in my stomach. I don’t really understand why I feel this way; I just know it has everything to do with Jackson. He makes me feel tight in the chest. I struggle to breathe around him, struggle to keep a logical mind, and I don’t quite understand it. I’m deep in thought when Jackson slides into the front seat. I flinch, and turn my face so I’m staring out the window. I feel the truck reversing, and a heavy, awkward silence fills the air. I feel like I need a topic of conversation, so I ask him the only thing I can think of.
“How did you become a biker?”
He glances at me quickly, before staring back towards the road. “It just happened. I had a rough life, and back then, the president was someone that was close to my family. When I lost my parents, he took me in. It went from there.”
“Do you ever regret it?”
He shakes his head. “Never, I have a family that I could never find anywhere else. Those guys, they’re my brothers, without them I’m not half the man I am now.”
I nod, understanding that. “I get that, it’s nice to have someone you believe in, the way you believe in them.”
“You don’t have anyone to believe in?”
I tense up. “I...I just had a different life. I never really got the chance.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
I shrug. “Life is life. We don’t get to choose how it goes, we just deal with it.”
“Right about that.”
We talk casually for the next half an hour. When we arrive in town, Jackson pulls up at the front of the little store and I get out. “I’ll come back when I’m done,” he says.
“Ok, thank you.”
He nods, and then drives off. Sighing with relief, I walk into the store. It feels nice to have a little freedom, even just for a moment. Right, where to start? I make a list in my head, and grab a cart. I go through, picking out everything I think we’ll need. I lose myself in my own thoughts, and I don’t even notice when Jackson comes up behind me an hour later.
“Deep in thought?”
I squeal and spin around, clutching my chest. “You scared me!”
He gives me a small smile. “Sorry. You nearly done?”
I go through that mental list again, and know there’s one thing I haven’t gotten. Tampons. It’s coming up to that time soon, and I’m not sure I’ll get another chance to come and get some. My cheeks flush, and I look away nervously.
“Um, I’m nearly done.”
He falls in step beside me, and I begin thinking of ways to get rid of him.
“Is there anything you need?” I ask.
“Nope.”
“Nothing at all?”
“Nope.”
Dammit.
“Oh, right, maybe you can take the cart to the counter, and I’ll meet you there?”
He gives me a confused expression. “Why?”
I grit my teeth. “Oh, just to miss the lineup.”
“Thought you said you were nearly done.”
“I need tampons!” I cry loudly. “I can’t get them when you’re standing right next to me.”
I dare to turn my eyes towards him, and his face is blank. Then, suddenly, he bursts out laughing. His head falls back, and his chest rumbles. That awful prick. I wish the ground would open and swallow me whole. My entire body tingles with shame, and I drop my head, so he can’t see the flush in my cheeks.
“You think that’s going to bother me?” he chuckles, reaching over and taking my chin, tilting it up to meet his expression. I feel my body break out in light trembles all over. His hands on me. It takes away all rational thought.
“It bothers me,” I whisper. “I don’t really know you, and...”
He shakes his head. “Darlin’, go and get your girly things. I’ll meet you at the counter, yeah?”
He gently drops his hand from my chin, and flashes me another heartwarming smile, before turning and taking the cart from my grips. Dying with shame, I find the tampons and pick the smallest box I can find, before heading back to the counter where Jackson is unloading all the food.
“You plannin’ to cook with all this?” he asks as I place the box on the counter.