“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked quietly.
“Because some people think it’s jacked, Anya, when it… is… not. But I sometimes get shit for the color of my skin. I’m not adding to that with sharing this. No f**king way.”
“You don’t get shit from me,” I reminded her, stung.
“No, and I didn’t wanna get it another way,” she replied gently, easing the sting.
“You can tell me anything,” I whispered.
“Well, now I know that since you shared with me.”
We both fell silent.
Vivica broke it.
“So, obviously, if he’s a thirty, you like it too.”
“Yeah,” I said softly.
“And you jack up, he’ll punish you?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s shared that with you?”
“Unh-hunh.”
“And you know his limits? He’s been open with you? What you can do, what you can’t? What he can do, where he won’t go with you?”
“Yeah. I mean, he’s given me boundaries which I may or may not explore but they are far from vague. And he’s also been somewhat comprehensively forthcoming about what he’s not into. It’s not about wax or clamps or any of that. It’s about control.”
“Covered his bases,” she muttered.
Seemed like it.
“Good,” she whispered.
“Yeah,” I repeated.
“Advice, babe, jack up.”
I blinked again.
Then I breathed, “What?”
“No joke. I know it sounds scary crazy but it isn’t. It’s scary, crazy, hot.”
My legs started trembling.
“Really?” I whispered.
“Oh yeah. Hell yeah. I know he’s yours, babe, but just the thought of Knight Sebring taking a crop to me, hun… nee. I’m thinking of stopping my gig of trying to talk in code to every guy in Denver to see if they’re a Dom and just putting a personal ad in so I can get my ass slapped.”
I burst out laughing.
“I’m not kidding,” she said into my laughter.
“Right, okay,” I said, still giggling.
“Listen to me,” she said, deadly serious and my giggles faded. “Straight up, what you’ve already done, is he cool with you? You like it?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“To a thirty?”
“Yes, Viv.”
“Then jack up. Because if you like him bossing you then you’re into it. If you give him reason to take it to the next level then that thirty will become a fifty, I kid you not. Scary. Crazy. Hot.”
My trembling legs started shaking as did my hands and my eyes slid to Knight’s space-age alarm clock on his nightstand.
Ten fifteen. Knight wouldn’t be home for hours.
Damn.
“You know something, babe?” Viv asked in my ear.
“I know a lot of things, honey. What do you want to know?” I replied.
Her voice held a smile when she said, “I already loved him for you. Now I love that he’s giving this to you and you like it. One of the things about that life, sex will never be boring. There’s a trust that’s built that’s a-freaking-mazing. Closeness comes from that. He builds that for you, I’ll love him forever. But it’s more. I never had anyone to talk to about this shit except my partners and that isn’t the same thing as having your girls. So he gave this to us too. So I’m thinking I’ll already love him forever.”
I had the scary, crazy thought that I might too.
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“You wanna talk to me about anything, I’m here. But more advice, you talk to him. He’s already laid this shit out so clearly he intends to be open and honest with you, you tell him where you’re at. What you liked, what you didn’t. Give him cues when you’re ready to go further. Then, I swear, babe, he’ll love you forever. A gorgeous bitch to class his act on his arm that makes him laugh, knows how to cook, understands the meaning of loyalty and who can get his rocks of just the way he likes it. Nothing better and he’ll know it too.”
I giggled again then stopped suddenly and whispered, “I’m glad he gave us this too, even though he didn’t know he was. I’m glad because you shared with me something about you and now you know no matter what, you can share anything with me, honey.”
It was her turn to say, “Yeah.”
I grinned.
Then I heard a faraway, indistinct sound echoing in Knight’s vast apartment like someone was coming in the front door.
My body jerked then my head went back to the clock.
Ten eighteen.
I listened to the noises.
Knight was home early. Or maybe he just came home to get something.
I listened for footsteps on the floor, didn’t hear them and wondered why he didn’t come see me as I pushed off the bed and said, “Knight’s home. Maybe he’s picking something up.”
“As you walk your round, white ass to wherever he is in that crib, wrack your brain about how you can be a bad girl then call me tomorrow and thank me.”
I smiled at the phone so I knew she heard it when I hit the hall and whispered, “Later, honey.”
“Bad girl, baby.”
“Right,” I muttered.
“Right,” she stated firmly then softly, “Later.”
Then she was gone and I was rounding the L of the hall.
The living room was dark as I left it since after talking with Viv, I was going to bed. But I saw a faint light coming from the hall to the front door.
I rounded the corner and saw the door in the hall that I’d never seen open, opened and light was pouring out.
“Honey, you needed something, I don’t usually go to sleep until eleven,” I called down the hall, still walking. “You could have phoned me. The club is a ten minute drive. I could have dropped it –”
I stopped in the door, stopped talking, saw it was an unsurprisingly very big, well-appointed, kickass study, though not in any way like the rest of the kickass but spare, colorless, stylized apartment but warm, masculine and lived in.
And last, Nick Sebring was squatting next to what looked like a safe set in a golden wood cabinet. The safe was unopened and his furious gaze was aimed at me.
“Take one step to me, Nick, I run to Knight’s room, lock myself in and I don’t call 911. I call Knight,” I warned as he straightened.
“Now I f**kin’ get it,” he whispered irately, his eyes on me burning with barely controlled fury.