His arm left my back so his hand could cup my jaw and his face came close as he whispered, “Baby.”
Without delay, I snapped, “I don’t understand what’s between us or how I can behave or if I can even be mad but just so you know, right now, I don’t want you to be nice to me and I don’t want you touching me.”
“Not gonna give you that, Anya,” he said gently.
Figured.
I looked away and blew out a sigh.
“Babe, look at me.”
I looked back, rethinking this situation because when I was pissed or hurt or whatever, I wanted to be able just to be me.
“You, Anya, are a woman who needs a dog, a house with a white picket fence, one boy, one girl and a man who worships the ground you walk on, thanks God every night he was f**kin’ lucky enough to con you into lyin’ your head on the pillow beside his but still watches football on Sundays. You and me stay the course, you are never gonna get that from me.”
I stared at him, again… freaking… confused.
“Pardon?”
“I tried to walk away, did it twice, so I could leave you to that destiny. Then you walk in my club in that f**kin’ dress. I knew you had no underwear on. I knew without seein’ that you walked in my club and every dick on every guy who caught sight of you started gettin’ hard seein’ you in that dress because you’re you but also because you had no f**kin’ underwear on. Then you were with Nick. And seein’ you sittin’ with him, lookin’ beautiful but scared outta your f**kin’ mind, I knew two things. One, I had to claim you and look after you before someone or a shitload of someones f**ked you in their rabid pursuit of all that is you. And two, I had to claim you because I could not deny any longer how f**kin’ much I wanted you. You deserve that life with the dog and the white fence, babe. You deserve good and normal and clean. So when you walked into this kitchen and smiled at me bright like you’d never been so f**kin’ happy, I had to know if I gave you that or what I gave you gave you that. So I set about findin’ out. And knowin’ it’s me that gave you that, knowin’ you might be happy without the dog or that white fence, baby, that makes me happy.”
“You’re not good and normal and clean?” I whispered.
“No, Anya, I am not any of that. Someone f**ks you, I got no problem drawin’ his blood, givin’ him pain, makin’ absolutely f**kin’ certain he’ll never do it again. I’ve already done it and I will not hesitate to do it again. I lay my head down at night, you might be tied to my bed spread-eagled next to me so if I get a taste for you in the middle of the night, I can put my mouth to you without waiting. I am not good. I am not normal. I am not clean. I f**kin’ love my life. But I got off way more than normally, tellin’ you what I want and watchin’ you mind me. You taste f**kin’ great. That cunt of yours feels even better. And lookin’ in your face when I come is even f**kin’ better. And all that made my life a whole lot better. So you gotta know, you gave that to me, I own it but I never intend to be any of those things, good or normal or clean.”
I was silent.
I was also more than mildly turned on.
Knight was silent too then he wasn’t anymore.
“So, Anya, babe, I had to know it was me makin’ you happy. I asked. You shared. And that’s good. Because down the line I don’t want it sittin’ in my gut that I should have left you to good and normal and clean. I’m pleased as f**k you like what’s growin’ between us because, babe, seriously, I do too. And another thing, expect to be spoiled, baby, because I’m gonna work on that too. You and yard sale coffee tables are a thing of the f**kin’ past.”
Suddenly, I wasn’t breathing.
I was also trembling.
His thumb slid across my lips but stopped in the middle, pressed lightly and his face got so close, his vibrant eyes were all I could see.
“And last, you call your girl off. I get what she’s doin’ for you. But I’ll let you know what you need to know about me when I’m ready for you to know it. I don’t like people lookin’ into me. I don’t like people askin’ about me. And I don’t like people knowin’ about me unless it’s me who puts them in the know. She’s your girl but I’ll warn you, I do not like all this enough that, she doesn’t stand down, it will be me makin’ it clear she’s gonna do that. First time, I’ll go gently. There has to be a second time, you mean somethin’ to me, she means somethin’ to you, but still I make no promises. You get me?”
Oh boy. Time to have a serious sit down with Vivica.
I didn’t say that.
I didn’t say anything.
I just nodded.
“Do you understand to be with me you’re givin’ up good, normal and clean?”
“I think so,” I whispered against his thumb and in the middle of me speaking, he swept it away. When I was done, he swept it back and his eyes watched as it pressed in then pulled down taking my lip with it. Then the pad of his thumb glided along my teeth. Automatically, they separated, his tongue slide between them and the pad touched my tongue. Again automatically, my lips closed around his thumb and my tongue stroked it.
I watched his pupils dilate and his thumb pressed down on my tongue as he growled, “Fuck yeah, my baby gets me.”
The area between my legs contracted so powerfully, it was almost like a mini-orgasm.
Or maybe it just was.
His thumb slid out, caressed my lower lip again then his hand slid back into my hair but through this I never lost his eyes.
“I was wrong, layin’ it out about your girl was not last,” he said quietly. “Last is, I like pu**y and I will not deny I’ve enjoyed as much of it as I could get. But that smorgasbord you mentioned, babe, that has dried up. You gave me you, I give you me. You want tests, we’ll take them. You’re not on the pill or something else, you need to get on it immediately because I want nothing between my c**k and you. But you trust me to take care of what you give to me, you can trust that you’re the only one gettin’ it for as long as you’re with me.”
Okay, this was good. Very good. Excellent.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“The pu**y I’ve had, all of it, was just pu**y. You are not just pu**y. They know they don’t talk about what I gave them. But you gotta know they know because they got it. For them, it was a session. For you, it’s now part of your life. I get you’re gonna share with your girls about me. But I’ll ask you to keep that to your crew of three and make them understand I do not like people sharin’ wide about me. And be firm about that, baby. I live quiet. I don’t like attention. And I won’t like you gettin’ it for me. That won’t mean punishment. That’ll mean the end of you and me. You with me?”