Now that I’m with Roan, Sam is a lot friendlier than he was when we first met. I’m not sure what that whole thing was about and I’ve never bothered to find out either. My attention has always been focused on Roan. “Hey, Ivy. You looking for Roan?”
I’m barely able to pull my lips up into a smile. “Yep, is he here?” I just want to find Roan and talk this out with him. Right now I need his reassurance that everything is going to work out.
“He’s in his room studying. You can go on back.”
Sam holds the door open for me. A moment later, I’m heading down the short hallway to Roan’s bedroom. Even though the guy’s apartment has three bedrooms, not two like ours, the layout is pretty much the same.
Knocking lightly on the door, I push it open before popping my head in.
A big smile moves across his face when he sees me. My heart melts just a bit at the sight of him. Am I really going to be able to just leave him behind?
“Hey, babe. I was hoping you’d stop over.”
With a hurried step, I move towards the queen sized bed where he’s sprawled, reading some heavy tomb of a text book. Instantly he lays it aside before holding out a hand to me.
“You busy?” I just want to unload everything careening around in my head right now.
He shakes his head. “Nah. Just trying to get ahead. I’m going to miss Friday for the game this weekend, so I want to make sure I get everything done beforehand.”
Roan has turned out to be one of the hardest working guys I’ve ever known. If he’s not working out or at practice, he’s studying. I wish everyone at Barnett realized just how hard he works to be the star athlete and student he is. On the outside, his success looks almost effortless. I’m sure most people just assume he’s blessed with good looks and athletic ability. But it’s so much more than that. It’s drive and competitiveness and the need to be the best at what he does that has him constantly pushing himself to be better. Luck has nothing to do with it. He works his ass off for his success.
“Ivy?” His turquoise eyes search mine as all these thoughts run through my head. “Everything okay?”
Staring at him silently, I feel a burst of love explode within my chest for him. The feeling slams through me, practically stealing my breath away. Shaking my head, I try clearing my thoughts because somehow, when I wasn’t even looking, I fell in love with Roan King.
I never meant for it to happen. But somehow, he completely won me over. For whatever reason, Roan allowed me to glimpse the real man beneath all the stereotypical hype.
And I don’t want to let that go.
I don’t want to lose him.
Panic seizes me, choking me from the inside out.
If I leave for Cincinnati, everything will change between us. Maybe he won’t cheat on me like Finn did, but I can’t imagine our relationship, as new as it is, surviving so much distance. I have no car. No way of visiting him on a regular basis. And I have no money either. As prestigious as being a dancer for the Cincinnati Ballet is, it doesn’t pay much.
Panic continues to crash its way through me. Maybe… maybe this isn’t the right time for me to take this leap. Maybe I need to finish out this year or even earn my degree first before I start auditioning. I can continue with my dance classes. I can continue honing my craft and when I’m more ready to pick up my life and move to some unknown part of the country where I don’t know a soul, I’ll be better prepared to do it.
Roan sits up from his reclining position on the bed before reaching out and grabbing hold of my hand. Tugging me hard, I tumble onto his lap. Not a moment later, his big strong arms wrap around me, holding me close to the solid wall of his chest. God it feels so good to be nestled there.
His voice brims with concern. “Ivy, tell me what’s wrong.”
Searching his beautiful turquoise hued eyes, I bite down on my lip feeling torn. Should I even bother telling him about this opportunity? I’m not even sure I want to accept the spot anymore. I don’t think I’m as ready for this as I originally thought I was.
Three months ago, I would have jumped at an opportunity like this without so much as a second thought. And now… Now I’m all tangled up inside. So much so, that I’m actually considering declining the position.
I spent fifteen months in Paris, creating a life for myself only to uproot it and move back to Barnett where I’ve just spent the last two months settling back in, making new friends, working hard in my classes, and finding… love.
And now I’m just going to throw it all away?
Roan’s fingers slowly caress the line of my jaw before sinking into my hair. “What’s going on, Ivy? It seems like something’s bothering you. Just tell me what it is. I promise, we’ll figure it out together.” I can hear the concern bleeding through his words.