And still, I only felt numb.
I merely waited silently, watching as the Mage moved under the tree and leaned against the trunk with his hands in the pockets of his black dress slacks, noiselessly watching the funeral. No one near the casket could see me in the foliage of the tree, being so far away, but they could see him if they happened to look this way. Not wanting to get caught, and not stupid enough to think he didn’t know I was up here, I muttered softly, “Get up here.”
“Thank you. Your perch would probably have the better view,” Antonio, the only father figure I had known growing up, whom I had thought dead, stated quietly, not peering up at me. He toed off his black dress shoes before jumping agilely, grabbing the nearest branch. Appearing all of upper twenties in Com years (meaning he was probably close to eighty since Mysticals’ bodies aged like a Commoner until the age of twenty-two, then slowed down dramatically), he moved easily through the branches to sit on the limb beside me. After a few moments of silence, he whispered gently, “I’m sorry about Dominic, Lil.”
Hearing him say my nickname was odd. “Thank you.” I didn’t know what else to say. No one was sorrier than me and, truly, words were only words. I would rather not hear them.
He seemed to understand this, his full attention back on the service, staying quiet.
Resting my head against the tree, I found it peculiarly comforting I could at least still feel the rough scratch of the bark on my cheek, even while being empty on the inside. Minutes passed as the preacher finished his kind words. I watched as the huge mass of Mysticals began saying their condolences to King Kincaid and Fi once again, absolutely knowing I was in the correct spot. I wouldn’t have been able to handle that.
Watching the mourners walk to their vehicles, Antonio eventually broke our silence, asking, “Are you hungry? I have a turkey sandwich in the car.” Not the words I had expected.
With a slow blink, I realized my stomach was growling loudly. I tried to remember the last time I had eaten, but couldn’t remember when. Never a good thing for a Vampire.
“I also have a few bags of blood,” he murmured gently.
I swallowed hard. I hadn’t quenched my blood thirst since Dominic had died. Now that he was gone, I would have to start back on the bags-o-blood. The thought made me more than slightly nauseous.
He rested the palm of his hand softly, lovingly, on my cheek. “Let’s go for a ride. You can eat while we talk.”
“That’s why you’re here?” I asked, voice void of emotion. “You want to talk with me after leaving without even a goodbye?” The last time I had seen him, it had been the day of my Vampire Awakening when he and my mom had brought two strangers – the Vampire and Elemental portions — to assist. Shortly afterward, he had walked out the door behind them, his feisty pet eagle with him. He had left us.
“It’s complicated. I had to go,” he stated tenderly, running his fingers through my hair. “I am sorry though, that I never gave you a proper goodbye.” He was being so gentle for the chilling man I knew he could be if he so wished.
Stomach rumbling again, I sighed. If he wanted to talk, he could talk. He would only find me again if I ran right now. Plus, I did have to eat. Two birds, one stone. “Fine. Let’s go.” A bag of blood rested in my clutching hand while I glared at it. I really didn’t want to drink. It didn’t look appetizing at all; my attention was better served watching where Antonio was turning down a back road, driving at a slow pace in his Hummer. No frilly car for him, and nor had he ever had one. He was the person who had taught me the art of the getaway.
He pushed my hand higher, placing the bag closer to my mouth, not releasing his grip on my hand. “Get it over with, Lil. You look like shit. You’ll end up tearing into a throat if you don’t, and I would prefer it not be mine.”
I considered the sloshing, crimson liquid, and gulped back the rising bile in my throat. I had already scarfed down the turkey sandwich, chips, and soda. I probably should have waited until I had managed the blood first, but it was too late now.
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and sliced my fangs into the sterile bag.
Gagging on the disgusting, cold, bland blood, I felt Antonio’s grip tighten on my hand, keeping the bag against my mouth when I started to yank it away. He ordered, “Drink up. You want to go at the neck later? Fine, but right now you need this. Drink.” His voice was kind, but still carried an underlying command.
I pinched my nose, sucking it down quickly.
Only to have him hold up another. “One more. You’ll have your color back then.”
Groaning, I did as ordered. Vile, nasty stuff. Tossing the second bag in the plastic trash sack, I grabbed the toothpaste he handed me. An ample amount went on my tongue.
He hadn’t spoken anything of significance yet, but in his now extended silence, I mumbled, “They think I’m going to be the Queen Shifter.” I didn’t want to talk about Dominic, so I didn’t lead with him. Best to ask Antonio how to get out of this mess I was in. “They’re telling the press I’m sick with grief. Recovering from my loss, instead of revealing I’m missing.”
Antonio’s fingers beat a rhythm only he heard on the steering wheel as he cocked his head, apparently thinking, while I began finger-brushing my teeth. He finally spoke when I was through, asking, “What makes you think you won’t be the Queen Shifter?”
I stared. “I’m a hybrid, Antonio. You know I can’t be. And I don’t want to be.”
He sighed heavily, resting further on the leather seat, still driving at a snail’s pace. “Not touching on the hybrid part, do you really think every previous King or Queen wanted to rule?” His golden brows rose as he stared into my eyes for too long to be done while driving. No wonder he was going so slow. “That they woke up one day, and thought, ‘boy, I get to run the entire world for my Mys group, and it’ll be so much fun?’” He shook his head. “No, Lil. I can guarantee almost all Rulers didn’t want their crown in the beginning. It’s not something they had to work for. It was just thrown on them from birth. Slammed so brutally onto their heads, they either learned to deal with it or took drastic measures to get away from it.”
“How do I get away from it? How do I give the power to someone else?”
He gave me the look. “The only way to transfer your Queen’s power is to die.”
“There’s no other loophole?” I asked, trying to think of anything else. “What about the person who would have gotten this power if Dominic hadn’t been mated? That person can have it!” I shook my head. “I can’t do this. I won’t be able to do the Awakenings. It would be ludicrous to put me on the throne.”