“Knew what you were to me, knew what I had been trying to deny for so very long. Don’t get me wrong, I continued to try and deny it. I did not want you placed in that situation, I didn’t want you to know what I was, what my world consisted of. But then again, at the time, I had no way of knowing that you already knew far more of my world than I had ever wanted you too.”
He leaned forward, gently clasping her face between his palms. Cassie leaned into him, savoring in him, relishing in his touch and feel, and the soft words that he whispered. “And after, well after I finally admitted it to myself, finally allowed myself to acknowledge that you were my mate, I was afraid to tell you.”
“Why?”
His fingers brushed lightly over her face. “Because I wanted you to make the choice to join me on your own, I didn’t want you to feel any pressure from me. I wanted you to feel free to make the choice, and not feel obligated.”
“And now that I have, it may be impossible,” she whispered morosely.
His head bowed, his forehead pressed lightly against hers. “Once you are safe, and all of this is past us, then we can sort out the rest of the details. And we will Cassie. I promise you, we will.”
She nodded, blinking back the tears that burned her eyes. She wished that she could make this all different, wished that she had made the choice earlier. Maybe if she had, and there had been no fear of turning her, she could have been turned by now. And maybe, just maybe there would have been no ill effect, and they could be completely together, the bond between them could have been forged.
But then again, something awful may have happened. She could have become a monster, and Devon never would have forgiven himself, even if he had been unaware of the consequences at the time. No, as awful as it was, it was a good thing she had not made the choice earlier. There was no way to know what could have happened, and the last thing that she ever wanted was for to Devon to be hurt, in anyway.
Yes, it was awful, and it was going to be hard, but they would get through this. Together.
“Yes, we will,” she said softly. Then, she frowned at him, a new thought blazing to life inside of her. “Devon, with what Annabelle described, wouldn’t you and Isla be mates?”
He frowned at her, his hands tightened on hers. “No Cassie, there is more to it than just blood and sex. The bond is also forged through love. There was never any love with Isla, it was never like that. It has never been like that with anyone but you. And once I turned Isla, I never shared blood with her again. Mates tend to share blood on a near daily basis. Annabelle says that it is a beautiful and poignant experience.”
“I see,” she said softly. He continued to look at her worriedly, his gaze doubtful and questioning. “I do.”
He managed a small smile for her as he wrapped his hand around the back of her head, pulling her against him for a fierce, demanding kiss that robbed her of all sense and reason. She fell into him; losing herself in the feel of him as he swept away all of her doubts and fears. She matched the frantic need of his kiss, knowing that this may be the last time that they were alone together for a very long time.
She didn’t know that she was crying until he pulled away from her and gently wiped the tears from her face. “Don’t cry,” he whispered, kissing her cheeks.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” she said, unable to keep the hitching sob from her voice.
He kissed her lightly again, resting his forehead against hers as he held her tight. “I’ll join you as soon as I can,” he vowed.
She swallowed heavily. “You had better, and you had better stay safe.”
“I will Cassie, don’t worry about me, you need to take care of yourself.”
“Of course I worry about you. I love you.”
He grinned at her, kissing her again before pulling slowly away. “I love you too. Melissa and Luther are here.”
Cassie nodded, her hands shaking as he helped her up. He waited as she threw her travel bag into her suitcases before grabbing hold of them. “Devon.” He paused in the doorway as he turned back to her. She moved swiftly toward him, throwing her arms around him as she kissed him forcefully. Her suitcases thudded to the floor as he wrapped his arms around her and pressed her tight against him.
CHAPTER 13
Cassie stared out at the dark night, listening as the trees clicked and creaked with the sway of the breeze shifting through the large maples and oaks. Aside from the noise of the trees, the night was eerily silent. Picking up her coffee, she held it between her chilled hands as she took a small sip. Chris sat silently behind her, his feet propped up on the banister, his hands folded into the sleeves of his parka.
Melissa stepped onto the wraparound porch a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. The screen door squeaked as she eased it closed. Though it had snowed throughout most of the day, the sky was clear, the stars bright in the dark night. The moon shimmered over the pristine blanket of white snow. It was one of the most hauntingly beautiful and lonely things Cassie had ever seen.
“It’s so peaceful,” Melissa said softly, wrapping her blanket tighter around her.
It was peaceful, too peaceful, and Cassie hated it. She missed being part of the action, missed the hustle of her small town, and her life. And she greatly missed Devon, every fiber of her being ached for him every second of the endlessly long days and nights. She hadn’t slept more than two hours at a time since they had parted last week. Her skin hurt, her body hurt, everything in her hurt incessantly. And so far she had found nothing to help her ease the hurt that his absence had created.
The vibration in her pocket drew her attention to her phone. She pulled it out, her hands trembling slightly in anticipation. Cassie flipped it open, quickly scanning through Devon’s text. He checked in with her as often as he could while searching for Julian. She had to know that he was safe; otherwise she would go insane in this cabin, in the middle of nowhere, in upstate Maine. Though it had every new luxury she could dream of, the cabin was remote, lonely, and much too far from Devon.
She typed a quick response to him and flipped the phone closed. She held it tight for a moment, not wanting to lose the small amount of connection the phone gave her to him. Her chest was tight with agony; tears burned her eyes as she slid it slowly into her pocket. She hated living apart from him, hated living like this, and feeling like this. She hated the not knowing of both of their futures. And she really hated being taken out of the fight and hidden away.
Movement to the right caught her attention. Annabelle emerged from the woods, gliding gracefully across the snow even though it was almost up to her knees. Her hair shimmered in the light of the moon as she moved, a small smile played over her mouth. She was not as beautiful as Isla had been, not in the seductive mysterious sense anyway, but she was delicate, and pretty, and so very open and loving that it was impossible not to like her.
Though she didn’t like it, Cassie fully understood why Devon had thought he was in love with her.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Annabelle inquired as she strode silently up the porch steps.
“No,” Melissa answered.
Annabelle stomped her feet, shaking the snow from her boots. Her gaze was questioning as she glanced over the three of them, her cheeks red from the cold. She had a glow about her that Cassie recognized as a sign of having fed well. “Where are Dani and Luther?”
“Dani’s sleeping, I think. And Luther, well…” Melissa shrugged as she shoved her hands in her pockets. “He hasn’t left his books for more than a cat nap and a pee break since we got here.”Cassie glanced over at Melissa. They had all spent a lot of time buried amongst the musty books that Luther had brought with him, but Luther had been nearly inseparable from the pile. As the pile grew smaller, so did their hopes of finding any answers.
“Hmm,” Annabelle said softly.
“Want some coffee?” Chris asked.
Annabelle shook her head, her long curls bounced around her shoulders. “No, not right now, thank you though.”
Cassie nodded, her hands tightened around her cup as she turned back to the quiet night. “Devon and Liam are ok.”
Annabelle grinned at her, bouncing slightly as she clapped her mittens together. “Of course they are I would know if something happened to Liam.”
They all gazed questioningly at her as she continued to clap her hands. “What?” Chris asked, his chair hitting the floor of the porch as he dropped his legs down.
Annabelle continued to smile brightly. “We share blood; we’re connected in that way. I would know if that connection was severed.”
A small chill ran through Cassie as she thought over Annabelle’s words. “So you would know if something happened to Devon also,” she said softly.
Annabelle’s eyes were kind and understanding as she turned to Cassie. Cassie hated that look in her eyes, hated the pity she saw there. She wanted to turn away, but she found herself unable to do so. “It has been a very long time, my blood connection with Devon is much thinner and weaker now, but yes, I think I would know.”
Cassie nodded as she wrapped her arms around herself. The loneliness inside her grew in leaps and bounds. She could feel tears burning her eyes and she tried hard to bat them back. Normally she wouldn’t be this emotional, but she had been uncomfortable in her own skin for the past week. She hated this feeling, hated being lost and vulnerable and self conscious. Hated feeling out of sorts and wretched.
Her fingers twitched on her sleeves, she hugged herself tighter. “You would know also,” Annabelle said softly.
Cassie shook her head, trying hard not to shed the tears swimming in her eyes. “We don’t have that kind of connection,” she whispered.
Annabelle frowned as she shook back her bouncing curls. “No, yours is even deeper. You would know Cassie, believe me.”
Cassie managed a small nod, but she didn’t feel reassured. She felt completely empty. The door opened again as Luther stepped onto the porch. His eyes were bloodshot and weary, his hair a disheveled mess. “Break time?” Melissa asked softly.
Luther nodded as he pulled off his glasses and cleaned them on the edge of his shirt. “Have you heard from Devon?”
Cassie frowned thoughtfully; a small surge of hope flipped her heart over. “Yes, why have you learned something?”
Luther shook his head as he slipped his glasses back on. “No. I was simply wondering if The Commission may have appeared in town yet.”
“He hasn’t said anything about them, but then again, he hasn’t really seen anyone. Not even Julian.”
Luther stared thoughtfully into the distance, his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m going to need to go back tomorrow to gather some more books.”
Cassie’s heart lurched in excitement, her pulse picked rapidly up. “I’ll go with you,” she blurted, the thought of seeing Devon easing some of the torment in her body.
Luther shook his head no, his eyes caring but hard as they met hers. “Absolutely not Cassie,” he said firmly.
“But you’ll need help!”
“Melissa can come with me.”
Cassie glanced wildly between them, anger and frustration boiled through her. “I can go!” she retorted fiercely.
Luther shook his head firmly. “No Cassie, if The Commission happens to show up I don’t want them to see you. As of now they may know of you, but they have no idea what you look like.”
“But they aren’t there!” she protested vehemently, not willing to lose her chance to see Devon.
“We don’t know that Cassie, they could be hiding. They could also arrive at any time. You need to stay hidden.”
Cassie opened her mouth to protest and then snapped it closed. It would be pointless; he wouldn’t allow her to go. If she insisted upon it, he would stay here and they needed more books. No matter how useless the books seemed right now, it was the only source of hope she had in these lonely mountains. They were one of the few things keeping her from going completely insane.
Her heart lurched as tears burned her eyes again. “Ok,” she reluctantly agreed. “Will you see Devon?”
“Yes.”
Despite her best intentions a tear slid free. She wiped it hastily away, knowing that if she wasn’t careful she would turn into a sobbing mess. She wanted to see him desperately, to touch him, to know that he was safe. Her phone vibrated again, she pulled it swiftly out to find Devon’s reassuring message that he was still safe and everything was well. More tears slid free.
“Cassie.” She looked up as Melissa wrapped her arm around her shoulder, enfolding her in the blanket. “It will be over soon.”
“I know.”
“Come on let’s go inside, it’s getting chilly out here. Plus, I think we need a distraction, maybe a game of cards or Scrabble,” Annabelle said, a false cheeriness in her voice.