“This woman, Gertrude, what happened to her?” she inquired in a tight, strangled voice.
“Unfortunately, she had to be destroyed. She could not be allowed to survive,” Luther said softly.
Chris’s breath exploded from him in a rush as he leapt to his feet. He ran his hand angrily through his hair, tugging at the slightly singed shaggy blond strands as he cursed viciously. “Are you kidding me?” Melissa demanded sharply. “That’s bull! I don’t even understand why all of this would happen; we were all created the same way!”
Luther glanced wearily around the room, looking defeated as he pulled his glasses off to clean them. “I’m not one hundred percent certain, but I believe that when a Hunter has an ability the vampire blood in them is more dispersed in order to help fuel the gift the Hunter possesses. When a Hunter doesn’t have a gift, the vampire blood in them is more concentrated and intense. They are stronger, faster, with better senses. More like a vampire themselves.”
They sat in stunned silence, Cassie remained unmoving. “Are you saying that I am going to turn into one of those things that get stuck in the middle?” she asked after a few minutes.
Luther heaved another large sigh. “It’s impossible to tell Cassie, but it could happen.”
Devon heard the increased beat of her heart, felt the chill that washed over her skin. She turned slowly back to him, her eyes tumultuous and lost. He wished there was something he could do to ease the torment radiating from her, but there was nothing. All he could do was be here for her, and try to comfort her.
“I… I don’t understand, what does all this mean? Am I a danger? Am I going to turn into one of these things at a moment’s notice? Or will it take something more, like Isla telling me that she killed my grandmother?”
Devon stiffened, his hands tightened on her. “Isla killed your grandmother?” he asked sharply.
Cassie nodded, licking her lips nervously. “Yes, she told me that tonight. That was when…” she broke off, her voice failing her for a few moments. “That was when I lost control, when the rage took over. It was awful.”
He rubbed her back gently, wishing that he could soothe her hurt, but knowing that there was nothing he could do to take this away from her. He’d never considered the fact that Isla had been the one that killed her grandmother; they had all just assumed it was Julian. Anger boiled through him, but he kept it hidden from her, not wanting to upset her any further.
“But I don’t understand,” Cassie mused softly. “Wouldn’t I still be weaker than a vampire? I mean I am not fully one of them, I’m stuck in the middle so wouldn’t they still be able to beat me? Shouldn’t Isla have still won?”
This was the one thing that Devon had been hoping Cassie wouldn’t wonder about. The one thing he had hoped to keep from her. He met Luther’s gaze, but he knew that Luther would not be the one to explain this. “No Cassie,” Devon said gently, continuing to rub her back, but knowing it would do little to comfort her soon. “You would think so, but the things that get stuck in the middle, they’re mindless. A vampire may be more powerful, but they still have a survival instinct, these things…” he trailed off, simply because this was the part that he didn’t want to think about. “These things do not. All they want is the kill; all they experience is the bloodlust. They care nothing for their own lives, all they want is to destroy and massacre.”
Cassie gaped at him, her beautiful eyes lost and wounded as confusion swam through them. Then horror filled her face, the color drained swiftly out of it. For a moment he thought she was going to fall over. His hands on her tightened as he tried to keep her with him, tried to keep her from withdrawing from him again.
“Cassie…”
“I’m a monster,” she breathed.
“No…”
She jerked away from him suddenly and launched to her feet with a grace and speed that was startling. He tried to reach for her again, but she had already moved beyond his grasp as she paced to the doorway. Her hands were shaking, her skin so white now that he could see the small blue veins running through her porcelain complexion. Her lips had turned nearly as white as the rest of her.
“I really am a monster,” she whispered.
“Cassie no…”
Chris cut off as she turned toward him; her lips pursed tight, her eyes flat and cold. “I’m not even like you guys,” she said flatly. “I’m nothing. I’m a walking danger to this planet…”
“That is not true!” Luther cut in sharply. “There were other Hunters like you before Gertrude, who never had any problems. Gertrude was a one in a million chance, the rest were fine.”
Devon rose as Cassie turned away from them. Though it looked as if she were about to leave, she did not. She simply stood stiffly, her eyes focused on the window. “But it’s already happened to me. It will happen again.”
“You don’t know that!” Chris protested instantly.
Her eyes turned slowly toward him, though she still looked shell shocked there was a cold acceptance about her. Devon felt his stomach drop as he realized that the Cassie he knew, the Cassie he had wanted back, was gone. That Cassie, though she’d had a hard life and had lost a lot, had still maintained some of her innocence.
This Cassie, well this Cassie knew the hardships of the world, had been devastated, changed, wounded, beaten down, and had survived it all. This Cassie was still the same, and yet she was so very different. She was harder, more resilient, more knowing. This Cassie would not turn against him; she would not hide from the world behind a wall of pain. This Cassie would face it head on and beat it down with her bare fists if she had too.
Though he had desperately wanted to keep her sheltered from this harsh reality of life, for he had never wanted her to know such pain, he knew now that it had been inevitable. She knew about the pain and the cruelty of the world now, she knew far more of it than most people. At first she had been destroyed by it, but not now, now she was like a phoenix rising from the ashes, more mature, more solid, an adult. A woman.
He wanted to go to her, but he knew that she had to face this on her own. “I do know that Chris,” she said softly, forcefully. “I know what is inside of me now; I know what is just beneath the surface. I felt that hatred and rage and it is something that you can never understand. And I never want you to.” Her gaze darted to Devon, a sad acceptance in it as for the first time she truly understood him, truly got what it was that he went through on a day to day basis. “And now that it has been released I will have to constantly struggle to keep it suppressed. I know it,” she said softly.
Devon nodded briefly, understanding what she was talking about. He knew how awful the constant struggle to keep himself restrained was. It was not something that he wanted Cassie to have to go through, but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He could not protect her from herself. He could only stand by her, and do what he could to make sure that she didn’t step over that precipice for good.
“It’s ok though,” she continued, turning her attention back to Chris, a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“Cassie,” Melissa said softly, unable to keep the heartache from her voice.
“No, it really is ok. It makes things easier.”
“Excuse me?” Luther inquired sharply.
Her eyes found Devon’s again, for the first time in a long time a true gleam of hope filled them. “It makes the choice so much easier, it really does.”
Devon froze as hope sprang forth, nearly drowning him in its suffocating, pounding waves. “Do you mean?” he barely managed to squeeze out through the sudden constriction in his chest. He had wanted this for so long, dreamed of this moment, and now that it was finally here, he didn’t want to hear the words. Because they were words he was afraid that he could not fulfill.
Her smile widened, and although she was still unnaturally pale, there was a glow about her. “Yes,” she breathed. “I can’t get stuck in between if I’m already all the way over. I want to join you Devon.”
CHAPTER 11
Cassie heard the collective inhalation of breaths, but she couldn’t tear her gaze away from Devon. The need that radiated from him warmed her heart, caused her toes to curl, and made every scary thing about her decision completely right. It would be ok; he could calm the raging insanity in her. He knew all about what was inside of her, knew all about this monster that was living within her skin. He could help her control it, he could make it better, and he could make it so that she wouldn’t be some creature stuck in the middle, lost to a world of insanity and bloodlust. He could do all of that for her, and for the first time, she had no fear about letting him do so.
For the first time, in so very long, there was a sense of real peace inside of her. This was right, this was what she wanted, and it would be good. She knew that. Between them, things would be perfect, forever.
Even if she hadn’t just learned that she could lose complete control of herself, and everything she believed in, she knew that she had made the right choice. It was a choice she would have eventually made anyway, this new knowledge had just precipitated it faster. No matter what, she would have chosen to spend forever with him. To give him this peace and happiness, she would have done anything.
“Cassie,” Chris said softly. “Are you sure?”
She turned slowly away from Devon, bracing herself for the disgust she was sure would be on their faces. She loved them all dearly, but she had made her choice and she was going to stick by it. She was surprised to find that there was no disgust there however. In fact, Chris and Melissa looked as if they had been expecting this; Dani had retreated to the window and was not looking at them. Only Luther didn’t look happy.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, but you can’t.”
Cassie’s head snapped toward Luther, anger and frustration rolled through her. She hadn’t expected her decision to be met with open arms, but she had expected some of Luther’s prejudice’s against Devon to have lessened. Hell, they had worked together in order to find out more about the Hunter’s like her. She had assumed that they had formed a bond between them, that Luther now accepted Devon.
“Luther…”
He held up a hand, stalling her angry tirade. His gaze was sad, lost, wounded. Cassie’s mouth snapped shut in the face of his distress. He glanced toward Devon, opening his mouth and then closing it again. Whatever it was he had to say, it was more than apparent he didn’t want to say it.
Taking a deep breath, Luther rubbed the bridge of his nose before meeting her gaze once more.
“Cassie, we don’t know what will happen to you if you are changed.”
She frowned fiercely at him before turning to Devon. He looked just as confused as her for a moment, and then the furrows in his brow cleared. He turned to her, his eyes dark and dangerous, his jaw clenched tight. It was the anger and despair in his gaze that caused her heart to turn over, and her stomach to plummet.
“No Hunter has ever been changed Cassie,” Luther continued gently. “There is no way of knowing what that change might bring. You already have vampire DNA in you, more so than most Hunter’s. We do not know what would happen to any Hunter that is changed; let alone what will happen to you. You are so close to the precipice now. We do not know what you will become, if you can be controlled.”
Cassie gaped at him, struggling to keep breathing through the anxiety and pain clutching at her. She glanced sharply back at Devon, hoping that she would see denial in his gaze. She didn’t. “Devon can help with that,” she struggled to say.
“Devon was able to bring you back before, but if he changes you and you become something more, he may not be able to pull you back. Ever.”
There was a downtrodden slope to his shoulders that only confirmed Luther’s words. “Devon,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “There is already demon in you Cassie,” he said softly, reluctantly. “Luther is right. There is no way to know.”
The breath wheezed out of her, her chest constricted tightly. Hope deflated from her like a popped balloon. She could only stand there and stare, unmoving, frozen. “So, that’s it then,” she said softly. “There’s nothing we can do.”
“I’m not saying that Cass,” Luther said gently. “I’m just saying that we need to take our time, do some more research. I have never heard of a Hunter being turned, but it may have happened, there may be something out there that would tell us about it. I had never thought to look for anything about you, until Devon came to me, and now we will look for information about this.”
“No,” Devon said forcefully. “No more digging, no more research.” Cassie felt as if her legs were going to give out, but she somehow managed to keep herself standing upright. Didn’t he want her anymore? Didn’t he want to figure this all out somehow? Didn’t he want to end both of their misery? “It’s too dangerous.”