He glanced back, then looked at me again. “I have to go,” he said. “But, uh, maybe I’ll catch up with you later?”
“Sure,” I said.
“Okay,” he said. “Cool. And look, I’m sorry. Again.”
“No problem.”
“Josh!” Someone was getting impatient.
“See ya,” he said, and he reached out—quickly—and squeezed my arm. Then he turned and jogged off, glancing back to smile at me.
I waited until he was lost in the crowd before looking back toward our blanket. Morgan watched the sky, but Isabel had her eyes on me. I smiled. She just held up her beer, pointing at it.
Back to business.
I went to the car and got the six-pack. By then the fireworks were in full swing, popping and crackling overhead. The crowd oohed and ahhed. I picked my way through the blankets, trying to spot Morgan and Isabel.
“Colie,” someone said, and I felt a tap on my leg. It was Norman.
“Hey,” I said.
“Sit down,” he said, smoothing some sand for me with the flat of his hand.
“I’m with Morgan and Isabel,” I said, and as I scanned the crowd in front of me I found them again. Frank had his head ducked down, talking earnestly to Isabel, who was half listening and half watching the fireworks. Morgan looked bored.
“Oh,” he said, as there was another boom and shower of sparks overhead. “Okay. Sure.”
We both looked up, watching them fall. Norman said, “You know, it’s weird, but every time I see you, you look different, Colie.”
I glanced down at him. Two boys in one night being nice to me. I could get used to this. “Thanks,” I said. “It’s Isabel. I’m kind of a work in progress.”
“You look great,” he said again. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you . . .”
Just then I saw Josh, walking with a group of guys. He was laughing, and then, somehow, he saw me. And smiled.
“. . . how you’d feel about sitting for a portrait. You know, for my series.” Norman was still talking. I could hear him, but I was still watching Josh, who was watching me. “I’ve got to finish it in the next couple of weeks, and I thought . . .”
“That would be great,” I said. Josh waved. I waved back.
“You think?” Norman said. “ ’Cause I really didn’t know how you’d feel about it.”
“Great,” I said again. Josh and his friends stopped by a bonfire further down the beach. He turned back and gestured for me to come over.
“Okay, great,” Norman said. “When can you start? I mean, you could come down later tonight or something. I make great hot chocolate. I have this hot plate. It’s world-known.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said, hardly listening; I just knew he was saying something about chocolate. “I should go.”
“Great!” There was another pop and crackle overhead. “I’ll be up late, so just come whenever.”
“Right. I’ll see you later, Norman.”
I picked my way back to our blanket, as the fireworks got louder and louder.
“Finally,” Isabel said when she saw me. “What took you so long?”
“Nothing.” I dropped the six-pack next to her and sat down beside Morgan, who was peeling the label off her beer and yawning. Then I turned and looked back. Josh was still watching me.
“Come on,” he mouthed, waving. His friends, some of them with girls now, were all grouped around the fire, smoking cigarettes and laughing.
“What is that look on your face?” Morgan said. “Colie?”
I stood up. I was ready to walk over there, to a cute boy with brown eyes who I’d met under the falling sparks of an Independence Day.
“Come on,” Josh said.
This was where it started.
“I’m going to go,” I said out loud, and Morgan looked up at me. “I—”
Then I saw her. Caroline Dawes. She stepped out from behind one of Josh’s friends, turning her head to look in my direction. And she saw me, her nose instantly wrinkling in distaste, as if she’d smelled something bad.
“Come on,” Josh said again, waving me over, insistent now. There was another burst of color and light over my head.
But I froze, my eyes on Caroline, who looked from me to Josh and then to me again. She reached out and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around. And then she said something.
“Colie?” Morgan said. “What is it?”
It was happening again. No matter what I did, or how the world changed for me, all it took was Caroline Dawes to ruin everything.
Then I heard Isabel.
“Colie,” she said, and her voice was very clear through the noise swirling around us. “Go.”
“I can’t,” I said. I knew then that she had seen Josh bump into me and everything else. And she’d recognized Caroline Dawes when she stepped out from beside that fire and showed herself.
“Go,” she said again. And she nodded her head towards Josh. “Now. Do it.”
“What is going on?” Morgan said. “What are you guys talking about?”
But Isabel just watched me. And I remembered all the times I’d let Caroline Dawes ruin my life. That first dance, and the boy who’d imitated me. And, finally, I thought of my mother, standing before thousands of caterpillars, believing them into butterflies.
“Go,” Isabel said again. I could tell by her voice, by the way she looked at me, that she knew I would.