"No." Her voice was warm. "That makes you human. That makes you real. That makes you as complicated and fucked up as everyone else on the planet. Listen to me, Lola. Think of this as your own personal sexual revolution. I know you're feeling guilty because you have the hots for another guy, even though you love Xavier. But Xavier has been an asshole to you in the past, Lola. If he truly loves you, then he'll have to understand whatever is going on."
"I'm scared, Anna. I wish you were here."
"I wish I was there as well. I want to meet the man that can tempt you away from Xavier."
"He's not tempting me away, Anna. He's just making it hard for me to think straight."
"Wet panties will do that to you." Anna laughed and I groaned.
"I have to go," I said hurriedly. "Thank you for being you."
"Have a good time, Lola. Remember that if you feel uncomfortable at any point, just leave. If push comes to shove, call me collect and I'll get you a ticket so you can come back to London."
"Thank you, Anna," I said and hung up the phone. I took a deep breath and turned around and hurried back to the men. Both Xavier and Stephan were looking at me as if I were the last woman on Earth and it made me feel a thrill of power and sexuality that I'd never wanted to own before.
***
We walked into a large room with couches on one side and a glass wall on the other side. There were four other men waiting in the room, including Casper, and three other women, including Violeta. I wasn’t happy to see Violeta and Casper in the room standing there, looking nonchalant. I checked out the other faces in the room, but I didn’t recognize any of them from the parties I’d attended with Xavier previously.
"Welcome, everyone. My name is Charles. I'm a member of the Dutch royal family and the inner circle of the Society of Brothers." The tall man with the long nose looked very pleased with himself and I couldn't help but stare at the smirk on his face. "I'll be the proctor today." He laughed. "I will go over the rules and placements and then we shall start."
"Are you feeling okay?" Xavier asked me quietly as we listened to Charles talking. "What did Anna say?"
"She said to stay as long as I feel comfortable." I made a face at him. "Honestly, I don't know if I'm okay and I don't know if I'm comfortable, but I want to do this for you. You want to make it to that inner circle, right?"
"I do." He nodded solemnly.
"Then let's get you there," I said and tried to ignore the feeling of warmth that had spread through my body as I'd noticed Stephan staring at me. “Let the games begin,” I said under my breath and I closed my eyes for a few seconds to stop myself from staring back into Stephan’s penetrating gaze. I had no idea what was going to happen next, but I knew I was more excited than I should have been, given the circumstances.
Chapter Eleven
Xavier
All’s fair in love and war they say. I don’t know if I believe that anymore. I don’t feel like I believe it. My stomach is in knots as I stare at Lola, her face a mask of worry and excitement. The worry I understand and, unfortunately, the excitement I do as well. I’ve seen the looks she’s been exchanging with Stephan. The promises in his eyes. I could kill him for the looks he’s giving her, but I know he’s doing it to rile me up. He’s doing it to make me lose focus. They don’t want me in the inner circle. Casper and Stephan are threatened by the changes I would make. They don’t want the status quo to be different. They don’t want to lose their authority and power. And that’s exactly why I want in so badly. I was mad at myself and at Lola’s friend Anna for letting Lola go through with this. For me. She was doing it for me and I felt sick to my stomach. It was a means to an end, but I didn’t wonder if I wasn’t selling my soul to the devil to reach that end. She looked so beautiful standing there next to me, waiting. I could see all eyes on her, wondering who she was and what she had that she’d gotten me. I could see the snarl on Violeta’s face as she glanced at Lola. She was going to make it even more uncomfortable for her, I just knew it. I was about to grab Lola’s arm and whisk her out of the room. I was about to grab her and tell her—command her—to leave with me, but as I stood there, I realized that a part of me didn’t want to. A part of me wanted to know who she was going to choose. A part of me didn’t want to give up the power of waiting to see what was going to happen. I didn’t know if that was stupid of me or not. I didn’t know what I should be doing as a man who loved her. For I was almost positive that I loved her with every fiber of my being. It was only a little voice in the back of my head that made me doubt myself. It asked me why I would have even brought her here if I loved her. That was the voice I ignored. That was the voice I didn’t want to hear. No one questioned my motives. Not even my subconscious.
Chapter Twelve
Lola
“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?” Charles spoke up loudly, his voice smug as he looked around the room. I could see the other two girls looking as timid as I felt, and Violeta stood there proud and comfortable.
“Can I have all the girls come up to me, please?” He waved us over to him and I looked at Xavier, my heart pounding. He gazed at me with a slightly anxious expression and I knew that he was wondering if I was going to go ahead.
“You don’t have to do this,” he said softly as he stepped towards me, his hands touching my waist lightly. “If you’re not comfortable, we can leave.”