When, she wondered, was the last time anyone had thrown caution to the wind and tried to smash through those boundaries?
It was tempting to try to do just that in the back of his town car while they were stuck in lunchtime traffic. But it was still too soon. Way too soon. Hurling herself like a wrecking ball at his stiff and starched-up boundaries within the first five hours of shadowing him wouldn’t do either of them any good.
Patience. Somehow, she needed to find a little of it.
So, instead of pressuring him to answer her question just yet, she answered his. “I keep taking new roles because I love what I do.” And her love for what she did for a living, at least, really was that simple. “Being an actor was always my dream. I love to make people happy, to know that I’ve helped them forget about their lives for a little while. Make believe, and disappearing into characters while in front of the camera, is just as much fun for me now as it was when I was a little girl wearing a tiger costume in my first commercial for a zoo. Because even when the outfit got hot and scratchy and all I could think about was yanking it off and throwing the stuffed head as far as I could, I already had enough passion and desire for acting to say my lines another dozen times until the director was satisfied. And what I remember most of all about that day is that when I was done, I felt like I’d achieved something really great. Not just filming a zoo commercial, but that I’d faced the challenge down...and won.”
It was precisely what she was hoping to do again with this new role. Just as soon as she figured out her character’s motivations, which would hopefully happen any day now. Especially considering the studio had tens of millions of dollars riding on her new film.
“Now that I think about it,” she said, “I don’t really need you to tell me how you do what you do. I think I can understand that well enough from my personal experience with my career. What I’d rather understand is why.”
Though he’d rather flippantly responded to her first question by saying it was his job, she didn’t think he’d do the same thing now. Already, she’d learned that while he wasn’t the easiest person to do business with, he was fair. And he respected a well-thought-out question just as much as he did a well-researched answer.
“I was twenty-one when I started Sullivan Investments.”
Over and over throughout the years, people had remarked to her about how much she’d accomplished at her age. Still, she was a little stunned to think that he’d begun his rapid climb to the top when he was two years younger than she was now.
“So this was always what you wanted, the same way I wanted to act?”
“No,” he said in a low voice, “not always.”
When he didn’t say anything more for a few long moments, she nearly reminded him that she’d signed an NDA and wouldn’t ever repeat what he told her now to anyone. Only, she suddenly realized, this wasn’t business anymore. It was no longer research.
It was personal.
“What did you want, Ian?” She gestured out the still-open window at the tall, shiny skyscrapers. “Before all of this?”
He was looking directly at her, but his eyes were slightly unfocused, as though he was looking through her into the past. “I wanted to play football.”
She’d seen him throw the ball, knew just how well it fit into his hands. “I’ve only shadowed you for a few hours, but one thing I already know for certain is that when you want something, you get it. So it wasn’t that you weren’t good enough, was it?”
His eyes cleared as he refocused his gaze on her. “I was good. But things changed and football didn’t make sense anymore.”
“Why?”
“How many times are you going to say that word to me?”
She didn’t hesitate before answering him with the truth. “Lots and lots of times.”
Irritation warred with amusement on his face, and she thought she saw the corner of his mouth twitch as he said, “If I answer this why, will you do us both a favor and not say it again during the rest of this ride, at the very least?” As soon as she nodded, he said, “I went into the investment business in college so that I could pitch in during a rough time my dad was having with his job. Once I started working, I quickly found out that I was good at it.”
“Good is a bit of an understatement considering one of your colleagues said…” She opened her notebook and pointed to her notes. “It’s as if he has investing ESP.”
His grin came and went so fast, she might have thought she’d imagined it if she hadn’t been able to feel the power of it still radiating straight into the center of her chest.
Right where it was starting to feel as though her heart was beating only for him.
“I like what I do, Tatiana. I like the money, the security, and the peace of mind that comes with being good at it, too.”
“But it isn’t just about your own financial security, is it?” She thought back to the meeting they’d just left with the head of the Seattle Family Foundation. Ian was to be the master of ceremonies at a big fundraising event on Friday night, and he’d given just as much focus, just as much passion, during the meeting with the charitable organization as he had in any of the others that were all about corporate revenue and profits.
“You never forget what it’s like to wonder if you’ll lose everything.” Again, his eyes clouded as if he was back in the past. “Even once you’ve got more than you need. If we can teach mothers and fathers, and their kids, the kinds of skills that will mean they’ll land on their feet, it might not solve all their problems, but hopefully it will at least give them something to aim for when times are tough.”