As if their ladder to happiness had broken down at that very juncture, she wept inconsolably but the good doctor was at a loss for words to console her. Moreover, he thought it prudent to let her drain out her agony. In time, wiping her tears, she continued.
“What a shame, I began bartering myself for the permits for petrol bunks for my siblings,” she said with certain remorse. “You can figure it out how my moral downturn would have heralded their upward social mobility. Oh, what an irony! Why, is it not the way of life? Well, the crowing glory of our family, as we looked at it, was when I helped my sister get married to an IAS officer. As for the wedding, it is the talk of the town in Guntur even today. That announced to all, including our poor cousins, the arrival of my father’s pedigree on the social stage in all style.”
She paused and looked at the doctor stoically, and discerning empathy for her in his demeanor, she turned sentimental.
“When the bubble burst, my people stood behind us as one man,” she said proudly. “Who said friends are better than relations? Actually, it was our so-called friends who turned their backs on us! And coming to the media, oh, how unfair it had been to us. How it was made out that Gautam turned me into a sort of a sexual ladder to climb up to the top of the business world! Believe me, Doctor saab but for that shameful submission, he never used my charms for his business promotion, nor did I do on my own. He is a man of honor ruined by ambition and not the pimp pictured in the press.
‘Why blame others when I am to be faulted?’ she continued in her choking voice. ‘It was I who turned wanton and hurt him to no avail. I failed to realize it then and thus invited ridicule on him. But my poor man is all empathy for me in spite of my lewdness, is he not? Oh, how I wronged my god! But for his understanding and my siblings’ support, wouldn’t have my shame turned me insane? But as it appears, it’s the filial puzzle that forked my destiny.’
“Why regret about the past?” said the doctor impressed with her chequered life. “I know you’re capable of living it down.”
“Wish I had the strength left for that,” she said melancholically. “Now, it’s clear that my impressionable mind was influenced by the parental deprivations to fuel that futile chase for wealth. How stupid can one be when it comes to the basics of life! Surely my parents erred in using their children as emotional dustbins to discard their own frustrations and biases. If not, maybe, I should’ve restrained Gautam from his overweening ambition and helped bring balance into his way of thinking.”