J.J.’s eyes went wide. “Well, that would teach anyone to keep their opinion to themselves.”
“I understand where it comes from, why she doesn’t help me, but it’s like flying blind. I thought having the same parts would help, and it does a little. I can hear her breathing change, watch the little involuntary body movements, but I still think that if I could see someone else do it, and ask questions, maybe even trade off during so I could see actual demonstration, it would work much better.”
“You are going at this in a very practical manner, Anita. I think I’m impressed, except are you treating it as a chore, not a pleasure?”
I fought not to squirm. “I go down on her because I know how much I love it, and she just started letting Domino try oral on her. She hasn’t talked about it yet, but I suspect her old master didn’t enjoy giving oral sex, so he made it unpleasant for her, like he made a lot of things unpleasant for her.”
“Do you enjoy doing it?”
I sighed. “Not really; I don’t get the high off it that I get from going down on men. Hell, I can orgasm sometimes from giving oral sex.”
J.J. gave me wide eyes again. “Really?”
I nodded. “Really.”
“Well, damn, I’ve heard that’s possible, but I’ve never met anyone who could do it.”
I fought not to be embarrassed again.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Anita; it’s great, amazing, no wonder you enjoy it so much.”
“I enjoyed it before I started orgasming from it,” I said, as if I wanted it clear it wasn’t just about me having a happy. I don’t know why, but somehow I felt defensive.
J.J. smiled as if she realized I was being defensive. “I feel the same way about going down on women, except I don’t have an orgasm from it; be awesome if I did.”
Jason laughed. “You’d never do anything else if you orgasmed from it.”
She laughed, then sobered. “Not if it was just Freda.”
I wondered if she knew she wasn’t in love with her live-in girlfriend anymore. Was I supposed to say something about it, or let it go? I wasn’t sure, so I let it go; one crisis at a time.
“Please tell me that I didn’t ruin everything between you and Freda,” Jason said, hugging her tighter.
“We had issues before you came back into my life, Jason. It’s more like the more I enjoy spending time with you, the more I see that she and I don’t have fun anymore.”
“Love isn’t always about fun,” Nathaniel said.
“No, but shouldn’t it be fun some of the time? I think I just hadn’t realized how much Freda wants to change me into someone that I’m not, until Jason came along and just accepted me for who I really am.”
“You accepted me, too,” he said.
She smiled. “I did.”
“I’ve never understood why people try to marry people that they want to change completely,” I said.
“Me, either,” she said. She looked at me, face serious, and then grinned.
“What?” I asked.
“Serious comment, but it sounds self-serving.”
“Just tell me,” I said.
“I would be happy to go down on Jade while you watched, and you could ask questions while I did it, but would she agree to it?”
“She and I talked about you before you got into town. She isn’t afraid of women the way she is men. She is afraid of some female wereanimals, but not humans. Nothing personal but she doesn’t see humans as much of a threat.”
“No insult taken, it’s just the truth. I’ve seen how fast Jason can move, and felt how strong he is, and no human can compete with it.”
“Thanks, honeybunch,” he said.
She smiled and stroked his arm. “You’re welcome, sweetums.” Then she looked back at me. “So Jade has agreed to sexual contact with me?”
“Yes, but she wanted it to be just the three of us and I wasn’t comfortable with that; sorry to be all heterosexual nervous, but I need at least one guy in the bed.”
“Really, you’ve never been alone with Jade?”
“No, and I feel bad about that, but after the foreplay I need boy parts, or it feels like it’s not finished.”
“Really?” J.J. said.
“Yep.”
“Have you thought about strap-ons?”
“It’s been brought up by some of the guys, but I don’t really have interest in it, and I just can’t wrap my head around Jade doing it to me.”
“Why, because she’s a girl?”
“No, honestly, because I see having someone use a strap-on as a dominant bondage thing, more than sex, and I don’t bottom to women.” That last was said in a tone that was very final. It was one of the few things I was sure of.
“I don’t do a lot of bondage, but I don’t see strap-ons as bondage.”
“Po-tay-toe, po-tah-to,” I said.
She nodded. “One person’s sex is another person’s kink, I get that.”
“Also, Jade is so submissive that even if I had found a woman I was willing to let top me, it would never be her.”
“Let me just say that a woman who’s been abused like Jade can be tricky in bed even for someone like me, who’s more experienced with women, and a lover who doesn’t give feedback so you know if you’re doing it right is really hard.”
“So I’m not just being all stupid straight girl?”