Nathaniel scooted down to slip under the sheets, too, so he could wrap me in his arms, so we were almost mirroring how Jason and J.J. were cuddling, except we were lower in the bed and propped against the pillows while they were sitting up more.
Nathaniel held me in the warmth of his arms and the solidness of his body as he said, “Jason is my best friend, Anita is the woman I love most in the world, Micah is the man, Jean-Claude is our master and him taking blood as foreplay with all of us in the bed is amazing, Asher is my dominant for bondage and sometimes for rough sex, Cynric is the little brother I never had, Nicky is brother and friend and I’m learning to really enjoy co-topping Anita with him, Dev is completely comfortable with his bisexuality, and that’s nice just to have someone else who feels the same way, and I’ll leave out everyone who doesn’t have some sexual connotation for me, but there are friends and family who I’ll never get naked with that are important to me and help make my life work.”
“How is your little brother a sexual connotation?” she asked.
I fought the urge not to squirm, because I had issues with Cynric. Sin was what he wanted to be called, not Rick. He was nineteen now and a senior, but I still had trouble with the age difference between him and me. I would miss him if he left my life, but he still hit all sorts of issues for me. I gave my best blank cop face and let Nathaniel talk. We were shoveling J.J.’s issues right now, not mine.
He hugged me tighter, as if he felt that small body movement and understood it all. “I like watching Cynric have sex with Anita, and I enjoy sharing her with him, just the three of us, or sometimes with other people joining in.”
“One of my biggest fantasies is sharing Jason with another woman, but I have a sister and I can’t imagine sharing Jason with her,” J.J. said.
“Maybe if Cynric and I had been raised together from childhood it would be different, but he was seventeen when we met, and he’s a younger brother for me, but I’ve never thought of him as anything but an adult, younger than me, but still a person and not a kid.”
She nodded. “That makes sense, I guess, so he’s family of choice, not of blood?”
“Yes,” Nathaniel said, laying a soft kiss against my cheek. I caught a faint hint of J.J.’s scent; it wasn’t bad, just different, just not me. His face was still shining from going down on both of us. I wrapped his arms closer around me and let the surety of him help me feel better about so many things.
“If Freda weren’t so insanely jealous of Jason, things would be so great. How did you find so many people that aren’t jealous?”
“Jean-Claude has a reputation; if you want to be in his inner circle, you’d better not be the jealous type,” Nathaniel said.
“Jean-Claude is amazing, and he seems to override your sexual preferences, as if everyone should want him,” she said.
“It’s part of his charm,” I said.
“It’s more than that; Jean-Claude is all about sex and sensuality, and just like Jason doesn’t like men, but would do Jean-Claude, I don’t like men much, but yeah, I see the appeal.”
“Most people see the appeal of Jean-Claude,” I said.
She nodded, and settled more comfortably back against Jason, as if some tension had gone out of her. I wasn’t sure why she was relaxing, but we seemed to be winning, so I’d take it.
“Everyone told me that when I found the right person I’d be happy being monogamous, but you’re telling me that that didn’t work for you guys either.”
“Nope,” I said.
“No,” Nathaniel said.
Jason kissed her cheek. “I’ve tried just one woman at a time, but it never worked for long.”
“I’ve been with Freda for two years.”
“Have you been monogamous?” I asked.
She shook her head. “I never wanted that, and I made it clear that I might never be okay with just one-on-one. I’ve continued to date, but less and less, because she made it such a pain. It just wasn’t worth the jealousy and fights, until I met Jason again.” And she turned in his arms so she could look back over her shoulder at him. They shared the kind of smile that Hollywood tells us we all should be looking for, and it made me happy to see it.
“Glad to know I’m worth fighting for,” Jason said, and kissed her.
She kissed him back, and then said, “If I’d known about polyamory in high school, we might have kept dating, but everyone tells you to choose.”
“You told me you were a lesbian; I respected that, but it meant dating each other was done.”
“I thought I had to choose one sex to date, one person to love until death do we part, and it never worked for me.”
“Or me,” he said.
“I think Freda is monogamous and just pretended not to be until we moved in together.”
“Do you still love Freda?” Nathaniel asked.
She didn’t answer right away. “I don’t know, I thought I did, before she was so ugly about Jason. I mean he’s a man, Freda doesn’t have the same parts, so I thought she’d be less jealous than she was of other women, but it’s worse.”
“Was it worse at first, or only after you got serious about Jason?” Nathaniel asked.
She thought about that, and finally said, “Actually, from the beginning, she seemed to feel like I was betraying the lesbian sisterhood. I’d always told her I was bisexual, but I think she thought it was just something you say to be hot, or edgy. I’m not just gay, I’m bi, you know?”