I continued the labours of the village-school as actively and
faithfully as I could. It was truly hard work at first. Some time
elapsed before, with all my efforts, I could comprehend my scholars
and their nature. Wholly untaught, with faculties quite torpid,
they seemed to me hopelessly dull; and, at first sight, all dull
alike: but I soon found I was mistaken. There was a difference
amongst them as amongst the educated; and when I got to know them,
and they me, this difference rapidly developed itself. Their
amazement at me, my language, my rules, and ways, once subsided, I
found some of these heavy-looking, gaping rustics wake up into
sharp-witted girls enough. Many showed themselves obliging, and
amiable too; and I discovered amongst them not a few examples of
natural politeness, and innate self-respect, as well as of excellent
capacity, that won both my goodwill and my admiration. These soon
took a pleasure in doing their work well, in keeping their persons
neat, in learning their tasks regularly, in acquiring quiet and
orderly manners. The rapidity of their progress, in some instances,
was even surprising; and an honest and happy pride I took in it:
besides, I began personally to like some of the best girls; and they
liked me. I had amongst my scholars several farmers' daughters:
young women grown, almost. These could already read, write, and
sew; and to them I taught the elements of grammar, geography,
history, and the finer kinds of needlework. I found estimable
characters amongst them--characters desirous of information and
disposed for improvement--with whom I passed many a pleasant evening
hour in their own homes. Their parents then (the farmer and his
wife) loaded me with attentions. There was an enjoyment in
accepting their simple kindness, and in repaying it by a
consideration--a scrupulous regard to their feelings--to which they
were not, perhaps, at all times accustomed, and which both charmed
and benefited them; because, while it elevated them in their own
eyes, it made them emulous to merit the deferential treatment they
received.
I felt I became a favourite in the neighbourhood. Whenever I went
out, I heard on all sides cordial salutations, and was welcomed with
friendly smiles. To live amidst general regard, though it be but
the regard of working people, is like "sitting in sunshine, calm and
sweet;" serene inward feelings bud and bloom under the ray. At this
period of my life, my heart far oftener swelled with thankfulness
than sank with dejection: and yet, reader, to tell you all, in the
midst of this calm, this useful existence--after a day passed in
honourable exertion amongst my scholars, an evening spent in drawing
or reading contentedly alone--I used to rush into strange dreams at
night: dreams many-coloured, agitated, full of the ideal, the
stirring, the stormy--dreams where, amidst unusual scenes, charged
with adventure, with agitating risk and romantic chance, I still
again and again met Mr. Rochester, always at some exciting crisis;
and then the sense of being in his arms, hearing his voice, meeting
his eye, touching his hand and cheek, loving him, being loved by
him--the hope of passing a lifetime at his side, would be renewed,
with all its first force and fire. Then I awoke. Then I recalled
where I was, and how situated. Then I rose up on my curtainless
bed, trembling and quivering; and then the still, dark night
witnessed the convulsion of despair, and heard the burst of passion.
By nine o'clock the next morning I was punctually opening the
school; tranquil, settled, prepared for the steady duties of the
day.