My throat closed up, and I still couldn’t speak.
Neither have I. I love you so much. I don’t care what it is because I don’t think I could live without you.
Words could not do justice to what I was feeling inside for him right now.
He moved his face closer to mine. “You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about at night. And then, you invade my thoughts and dreams in between. I have tried so hard to stop these feelings. I have put up as many barriers as I could stand to, but they are crumbling down. I can’t do it anymore.” He placed his mouth on me whispering into my neck huskily, “I can’t do it anymore…I can’t do it anymore…I can’t do it anymore.” His hands moved slowly down my sides gripping my hips, and his lips moved over mine when he said, “I’ve come undone.”
He grabbed my face and startled me when a rush of wet heat met my starving mouth. My entire body went limp the exact moment his lips finally swallowed mine whole. He opened and closed his mouth slowly over mine, before nudging my lips open impatiently. I tasted the metal of his tongue ring, a little vodka and the sweetness of his breath. The feel of the cold metal, mixed with the heat of his tongue circling mine made me instantly wet and weak in the knees. I felt like a rag doll in his arms.
He kissed me vigorously and gripped my sides harder as he pulled at my dress. It might have even ripped, but I was too wrapped up in him to notice. I grabbed the back of his head, running the tips of my fingers up and down his hair, noticing it was slightly coarse. I pulled his face into me harder because I couldn’t get enough of his mouth on mine. He groaned, and the sound resonated through my body. I pulled him further into me and that’s when I felt him rock hard against my stomach. I could feel the heat of his erection through his jeans and began to rub against it, causing his breathing to become even more shallow.
A need so strong developed in me that I thought I might die if I couldn’t have him inside of me. My body ached in desperation when he pushed back, moving his hands away from my waist then cupped my cheeks. “I need to tell you something, Nina. We need to have that talk now.”
Elation quickly turned to fear, because I was more terrified of what he had to tell me next than I had ever been of anything. I knew whatever it was could never change my feelings for him, but it might steal this moment that I will never get back again. I wasn’t ready to hear it. I panicked. I just needed him tonight. Just him…not his skeletons or whatever it was he thought I wouldn’t accept. He was wrong anyway. I loved him and knew I would take whatever came with him, no matter what it was. I wanted to know everything, just not tonight. My body couldn’t take it, and my desire for him drowned out all logical thinking.
I spoke for the first time since before we kissed. “I don’t care about your past or what’s going on in Boston. Please…I’m begging you. Let’s not do this now. Don’t say anything tonight. We’ll have the talk tomorrow, like we were supposed to. What I need right now more than I have ever needed anything is for you to make love to me, Jake.”
He closed his eyes, let out a long deep breath, and his hands were shaking as he held my face. “You have no idea how badly I need to be inside of you right now.”
“Please…I don’t want to have the talk tonight, okay?”
He caressed my mouth with his thumb. “Nina, either we have this talk now, or you are going to have to make me a blind promise.”
“Okay…”
My lips quivered, and he placed his forehead on mine. When he saw a tear fall down my cheek, he licked it away slowly and whispered against my face. “I need you to promise me…that you won’t leave me.” I nodded, and he grabbed my chin. “Make sure you mean that. Because I can’t make love to you the way I want to tonight, only to lose you the next day. It will f**king destroy me. I need to know you will be mine, no matter what I throw at you. Promise me.”
“I’m yours. I have never belonged to anyone before…but I know that I belong to you,” I said into his chest.
“Look at me and say it.”
I looked up into his eyes on command. “I’m yours. There is nothing that could make me leave you, because I don’t think I could live without you.”
His eyeballs moved back and forth in a fast motion as he looked into my eyes. He seemed to be searching them for sincerity. Finally, he pulled me into him and held me, pressing his body hard against mine. “Well, that’s good, because I wasn’t living before you.”
He just held me for what seemed like several minutes. It still felt like he was hesitant. He probably didn’t realize how badly I needed him. So, I decided to speak in a language he could understand. “I need you to f**k me, Jake.”
I just wasn’t expecting him to burst into laughter against my shoulder when I said it, though.
I smacked his arm. “Why are you laughing?”
He kissed my neck. “Say that again.”
“I want you to f**k me.”
He looked at me, smiling and kissed my forehead. “See, only you would say something so dirty and turn red as a beet.”
“Dirty talk is new for me,” I said, looking down at the ground and biting my lip to stifle my own laughter.
He grabbed my chin to look at me. “I know it is. You’re so f**king adorable…so sweet and innocent. I love that about you. It turns me on like you can’t imagine. I fully intend to f**k you tonight, baby. Then, I’m going to make love to you. But not before I feast on you.”
He wasn’t laughing anymore when he let go of me and walked out of the room. I gulped in nervous anticipation, breathing a sigh of relief when he returned with a strip of condoms and locked the door behind him. The clicking sound of the lock gave me chills. It was the assurance I needed that I was about to get what I yearned for.
He threw the condoms on the nightstand and sat on the bed. I was still standing up against the wall where he left me. I suppose I was waiting for his direction.
“Come here,” he whispered, gesturing with his index finger.
I walked over to him. He stayed seated as I stood before him while he traced the contours of my body with his fingertips, following them with his eyes.
“Incredible,” he said as his fingers moved over my breasts. “Do you know how many nights I would sit in my room dreaming about touching you like this while you were just across the hall? Every single night since I met you, I ached for you. This seems surreal.” He swallowed and licked his lips, which caused my body to stir.
I needed those lips on me. “Kiss me,” I whispered, my voice desperate.
“Where?” he asked.
“Everywhere.”
He reached behind me and slowly lowered the zipper to my dress, letting it fall to the floor. I kicked it away, and he stood up from the bed towering over me after I had slipped off my heels.
I couldn’t wait any longer. I stood on my toes and kissed him, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth and flicking my tongue repeatedly over his lip ring, something I had often fantasized about doing when we studied together in his room.
He moaned into my mouth as I tugged at his lip with my teeth. The pace of the kissing became more urgent then he pulled back.
“Nina, you’re driving me crazy with that tongue, pulling on my lip like that. I could come from just kissing you.”
“I’ve always wanted to kiss you there.”
“I’ve wanted to kiss you in a lot of places.” He caressed my chest with both hands gently before unhooking the back of my strapless bra, letting it fall to the ground. “Good God,” he said gruffly as he looked down at my bare breasts. “Like here, for starters.”
He continued to massage them before taking each one into his mouth. My nails dug into the back of his head as he alternated between licking and sucking, taking turns with each one.
I looked down and took notice of how hard he had become, so I started rubbing my hand against his jeans as he sucked on my breasts. I could feel the change in the rhythm of his breathing as I touched him.
He stopped sucking and whispered in my ear, “Now you know what you do to me. I want to feel what I do to you.” I knew how wet I was, but as he tugged at my underwear and slipped a finger inside, he realized it and said, “Holy shit, Nina.”
He continued moving his fingers in and out, and I could feel myself losing control. My eyes began to roll back and my muscles contracted. I had almost come in less than a minute from his hand alone. I think he knew I was going to lose it, because he stopped. Then, I almost lost it again when he licked his fingers slowly and made a guttural sound.
“You taste better than I could have imagined.”
“I almost came.”
He squeezed my ass. “I know. I almost lost it myself because I love how turned on you are. That’s why I stopped. But that’s not how I want your first time with me to happen. And believe me, Nina, this is gonna be your real first time.”
I had to clench myself, because just those words alone were enough to do me in again.
He pulled my underwear all the way down so that I was completely na**d and brushed his hand over my va**na gently. Normally, I would feel vulnerable standing like that in front of a man and had never allowed it before. I always hid myself, but the look in his eyes was one of complete adoration. He had always made me feel safe and laying myself out bare like this was no exception.
He held my face with both hands and kissed me. “You’re the most beautiful woman in the entire world.”
“I want to see you na**d too,” I said.
He gave me a naughty grin and said over my lips, “Undress me. I’m yours.”
Even his voice alone caused my muscles to contract.
My mouth was watering, knowing full well the masterpiece that lay underneath his clothes. I felt like a little girl on Christmas opening that one special gift that she knew was in the last box, as I unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the ground. I stopped to relish in the beauty of his defined chest, which I had only ever been able to admire in detail from afar. His heart was beating fast as I kissed over it and moved my mouth and tongue over each and every tattoo on his arms, saving the best for last. The tribal marking on his left lower side torso had always teased me the most. I loved being up close and personal with it as I bent down to lick over his salty skin.
I stood up and undid his jeans, and he kicked his shoes off. He put his hands over mine helping me pull his pants off. His black boxer briefs were like the last piece of wrapping paper. I could feel the heat of his erection bursting through them. He removed my hands just as I was about to pull his underwear down.
“I think I need to keep these on for a little while.”
“How come?”
“Because I don’t want to lose control and bury myself inside you before I have a chance to make you come with my mouth.”
Holy. Crap.
“Oh.”
“Lay down, beautiful,” he said.
I immediately complied and lay down on the bed as he hovered over me. His green eyes were brimming with desire, and I could see my reflection in them as he looked at me for several seconds. He shook his head as if in disbelief, then lowered his mouth and slowly licked my lips before kissing me hard and passionately. I loved the way the weight of his body felt on me as I wrapped my arms through his and caressed his back.
My hands dropped to his waist, and I squeezed his ass pushing him into me. He moaned into my mouth and quickly moved my hands off of him. “Don’t do that, baby. It’s my weakness. I want to last for you,” he said.
I loved it when he called me “baby.” I took a mental note to squeeze his ass again very soon, so I could make him lose control because I wanted to see what that looked like.
He slowly lowered his mouth down to my neck and then to my breasts, alternating between sucking on each nipple and rubbing his thumbs across them in slow circular motions as my legs rustled beneath him.
He then trailed his tongue down the length of my stomach in one quick line, like a plane taxing down a runway, and his mouth landed…well…on my landing strip.
I closed my eyes in ecstasy as I relished the foreign sensation of his hot lips opening and closing on me.
Spencer had never gone down on me, not even once. He expected me to do it to him, and I did, even though I never enjoyed it. But he didn’t return the favor and I never asked.
Jake began flicking his wet tongue in slow controlled motions with the ball of his tongue ring over my tender clit. There was no other feeling like it. Add to that, the sight of him between my thighs, his hair, dark and sweaty. I knew I was going to cl**ax within seconds.
My legs were restless, and my hands were gripping the sheets. “It’s okay…let go,” he said in between devouring me.
I was still fighting it because I wanted this feeling to last forever.
He lifted his mouth off of me, stuck his fingers inside me and rubbed me with his thumb, kissing my stomach. It felt good, but I wanted his mouth back down where it had been.
I could barely speak. “Jake…”
“What do you want, Nina? Say it.”
“I want you to lick me there again.”
“Good, because I want to taste you while you come.”
Those words were more powerful than anything he had done to me. Literally, the second his tongue bore down on me again, I screamed out in ecstasy and could feel the vibration of his mouth moaning against me while I came. It was the most mind-blowing feeling I had ever experienced.
He slowly kissed his way up my stomach, over my br**sts and up to my mouth. I tasted myself on him, and it turned me on all over again. I had just had an orgasm seconds ago, and my va**na was tingling, buzzing, ready for another.