“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
***
Somberly, I returned to my bedroom to get ready for work. My shower was a reluctant one because I never wanted to wash the smell of her off me. There would be no time for one later, though, given our plans for the talk tonight.
After everything we experienced, there was no way I could leave her empty-handed this morning.
Quickly folding a piece of construction paper into an origami bat, I knew I’d be late for work as I took my time pondering a message to leave her with.
What I almost wrote:
Whoever said Disney was the happiest place on Earth never knew…
What it felt like to be inside of you.
What I wished I could have written:
Tonight you’re going to feel afraid.
Please don’t forget the promise you made.
What I actually wrote:
I am batshit crazy for you. See you tonight.
The heat was blasting in Nina’s room when I went to place the bat by her bedside. It was so warm and cozy, a safe haven I never wanted to leave.
***
The blazing morning sun and the cold air outside were a rude awakening as I pounded the pavement and began the dreaded day. With my earbuds in, I played Angel by Aerosmith as I walked to the subway station. Thoughts of Nina set to songs that reminded me of her consumed every second of my commute.
Nothing that transpired after I left the apartment that morning went according to plan. My trust in the belief that everything happens for a reason would be tested in a bigger way than I could have ever imagined.
CHAPTER 19
Present
I had to stop the story. The weeks that followed that morning were some of the hardest of my life. It made me sick to think about them.
Skylar’s voice shook me out of my daydream. “Jake, are you alright?”
“No.” I stood up. “You know what? I’m really sorry to leave the story undone, but I really don’t think I can rehash anything else right now, especially in light of the current state of things.”
I walked over to the window and double checked my phone for a text from Nina. Nothing. It was getting late. I wasn’t going to be able to take much more of this.
Allison and Cedric returned from the kitchen with plates of food they’d warmed in the oven.
“Jake, we’re just gonna set up a spread on the table for anyone who’s hungry.”
“Thanks, sis. You guys eat. I don’t have an appetite.”
I returned to the leather recliner. Skylar and Mitch stayed on the couch while Allison and Cedric ate in the adjacent dining room. Mitch Jr. was sleeping in the playpen, which we’d moved into the spare bedroom.
Mitch was looking at me like he expected me to continue the story. “I just want to know what happened after you told her.”
Scrolling through the text history with Nina from earlier, I scowled. “I didn’t get to tell her.”
“Huh?”
“Long story short, I got an emergency call from Ivy’s group home that afternoon. They’d told me they thought she tried to commit suicide and asked me to rush to Boston. I ended up getting on a plane that day instead of going back to Nina. Ivy ended up being fine, but it was a total mess.”
“What did you tell Nina?”
“She wasn’t happy, but she somehow continued to trust me when I said it was an emergency related to what I needed to talk to her about. I told her I would explain everything when I returned after a couple of days. It was an absolute nightmare.”
Mitch looked horrified. “So, you had the talk as soon as you got back?”
My tired mind couldn’t take anymore. “Skylar, Nina’s told you the story, right? You want to fill him in?”
“That bastard Ryan had looked up Jake’s information in a database at work and found his marriage license. He took home a copy of it that night and showed it to Nina before Jake came back.”
“Holy shit. Fuck, man. I’m sorry. She totally thought you were just messing around on your wife, then?”
“She left the apartment and wasn’t planning on ever speaking to me again. I came home to Ryan chastising me about it while Nina was nowhere to be found.”
Mitch scrunched his forehead in confusion. “Where did she go?”
“She’d somehow become friends with Mrs. Ballsworthy’s daughter, Daria. That was strange in itself. Anyway, she moved in with her on the other side of Brooklyn. I had to choke Ryan to get the address out of him. I ended up locating her, and we were finally able to have the talk. But by that time, our relationship had been tarnished.”
“How did she take it?”
I grinded my teeth in frustration, not wanting to recall anything about that conversation. “She was shocked, told me she couldn’t be with me unless I got divorced. But she did understand my needing to take care of Ivy. Nina had too big of a heart to ever question that.”
My sister spoke from behind me. “Those months were horrible for him.”
I hadn’t realized she was listening in.
She handed me a plate even though I’d said I had no appetite. “It took you a long time to garner the courage to tell Ivy you needed to file for divorce.”
“It needed to be done very carefully. Ivy was devastated once I told her I’d fallen in love with someone, mainly because she was sure that meant I’d abandon her. It took some time to hash out all of the legalities. But it was all necessary if I wanted to be with Nina.”
“Where did things stand between you and Nina during all that time?” Mitch asked.