He didn’t say a word or play the charming card when I switched to a clipped and guarded tone, but I knew he felt the change. His confident behavior slipped, and the sporadic words between us slowly grew into nothing more than civil, almost businesslike blurbs of ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ over the house project.
We exchanged a few small jokes here and there, with the occasional brush of his hand over mine. It stirred that familiar electric wave residing deep inside me, and yet he never showed a sign that he felt it. There was now an unspoken understanding that I had nothing left to give.
As the week drew to a close, I noticed his visits grew shorter. On Thursday, he brought dinner by, but didn’t stay a minute after we finished eating.
He was finally taking the hint. I couldn’t offer him more. I couldn’t offer him anything. It wasn’t until Friday, when I opened a door that should’ve remained closed, that everything changed.
Julia was standing on my porch, a shivery smile on her lips as she hurried inside to warm up.
“Hey, come in.” I chuckled at her impatience.
“Thanks, its freezing out there!” She rubbed her gloved hands together and her body’s stiffness from the bitterness of the blizzard began to wane. “Hope you’re not busy. I needed to talk to you a minute.”
“No, not busy. Just watching some trash TV.” I sat back on the sofa, curious as to why she was visiting. It was a first—not that I minded.
“Sounds…fun.”
Boring and mundane were more accurate. I hit the mute button and set the remote beside me. She sat on the other end of the couch.
“Listen, I know this is none of my business, but Logan’s miserable.”
I sat up further, brows rising at her brashness. “You’re right. I don’t mean to sound rude, but it isn’t any of your business.”
She sighed, tugging off her gloves. “I’m sorry. I don’t normally get involved in any of my brothers’ relationships. It’s just that I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s all mopey and grumpy, and besides hanging out with Oliver or coming to see you, he’s checked out.” Her words blew out in one long breath. She inhaled to fill her lungs and waited for me to respond.
Checked out? Logan? I couldn’t picture it.
“I know he’s your brother and I think it’s sweet that you’re trying to help, but there’s nothing to be done. He can’t expect me to come running into his arms when I can barely even walk.”
She shook her head and groaned, irritated at my reply. “I’ll be honest with you, Cassandra. I don’t understand Logan most of the time when it comes to women. He’s always so reserved, never wanting to even date.”
A chuckle escaped and I sucked in my lips, containing my grin. “Sorry, it’s just that Logan definitely dates…just not like most men,” I said.
Julia relaxed into the sofa. “I know Logan, and I know that he…enjoys the company of many.” Her words were so hesitant and forced I couldn’t help but grin more widely.
“All right, fine! Logan’s a slut! My fucked-up brother with commitment issues can’t stand to even speak to a girl once he’s screwed her. There, I said it, and I tried to warn you when we first met. But he already had his eye on you, and it was too late to try and stop it. God knows I tried! I knew this would happen. It always does.”
She sighed, pulling off her thin designer hat and running her fingers through her hair. I swallowed hard, gaze fixed on the wall behind her now.
My cheeks heated, skin prickling with emotions I didn’t recognize. Always does? Why did that send my gut roiling? My posture turned painfully stiff. I’m one of many?
Block it out. Block it out.
A shiver raced through me, awakening my senses that were slowly losing their grip on the fact that she was still there, watching me. Searching for all the strength I could muster, I pulled on an unaffected smile—so small I wondered whether it even looked like one—and found my voice.
“So if this always happens, why are you sitting here talking to me about it? You want me to screw your brother so he’ll leave me alone?”
“No!” She looked appalled at first, and then her head ticked to the side. “Although that may work.”
Now it was my turn to pull on a scrunched appalled and offended expression. She shook her head and cackled with frustration.
“All I’m trying to say is that when Logan sets his mind to something, he doesn’t give up—ever. Right now, he wants you, and until you see that, you’re fighting the inevitable. It’s a game to him, and he will win. I know you’re attracted to him, so why not just try and see what happens?”
“You just told me that he never even speaks to women when he’s through with them, so why the hell would I take a chance with him?”
“Because I know you’re different. He’s only ever pursued one other woman.” She paused, hesitant. “Oliver was almost three, and Logan met her on an airplane. Whoever she was, she played hard to get, and Logan flew out to see her every chance he had for about a month. He’d come back to the city frustrated, and we all thought it was hilarious. He’d found a woman who caught his attention, yet she wouldn’t sleep with him. My other brothers and I thought she might be the one.”
I released a breath, nearly suffocating from holding it in too long unknowingly. I couldn’t hear this. It was too much. I was no different—another pursuit.
“I’m done,” I breathed, heat stinging my eyes as tears glossed my vision.
“No, listen. It was a little over a month after he’d met her that he flew out one weekend and came back looking…satisfied. He went back one other time a few days later, and that was that.”
There was a woman out there somewhere who’d endured the charm of Logan West and was left broken? Shocker. Bile began to rise inside me, and my head started spinning.
“He just walked away?” I managed.
“Yes, because she wanted more. She wanted to meet Oliver. He didn’t even know how she found out he had a son. He doesn’t talk to women about him.”
“Julia, please just leave. As a woman yourself, how can sit here and tell me this? Sit here and ask me to give him a chance to humiliate me?”
“No, that’s not what I’m doing. I want you to understand. You need to know this. When Logan was pursuing her, he never stopped sleeping around. Jax was staying with him at the time and said Logan had women over when Oliver visited my mother. He continued to have sex with other woman.” Her voice grew louder, hands working animatedly. “He never told her about Oliver! Don’t you get it? Jax and I know for a fact that Logan hasn’t slept with anyone since November. He went from getting caught screwing slutty women on balconies to showing no interest in the opposite sex. He’s never been like this over a woman before—not even Natasha. You’re different. He truly cares about you!”
“And if I’m just a conquest?”
“You’re not. My brother is lost without you. He won’t say it, but it’s obvious it’s destroying him. Can’t you just give him a chance—just one? I mean, at least try the friends thing again. Please. He’s a good guy, he’s just… guarded.”