For some insane reason, I think about that silly pamphlet tucked away in my dresser drawer. I don’t know why it crosses my mind. Okay, maybe I do. “You want me to go to your house and wait with you? I’m sure my mom won’t mind.”
He stares at me, deciding his answer, before he unsteadily nods. My heart sprints so insanely I swear he can hear it.
We climb out of the car, meet around front, and link hands as we hike up the driveway. Once we get inside, Ayden texts Lila that he’s home then we go up to his room and shut the door.
I turn around and face him, trying to figure out the right thing to say other then, hey we should get our freak on. I shake my head at myself. Seriously, I’ve been listening to Maggie way too much. For all I know, Ayden’s thoughts aren’t even headed in the same direction as mine.
He sets his guitar case down on the floor then glances around his room. “You want to watch a movie?” he asks me, his cheeks looking flushed.
Okay, so we’re definitely not on the same page.
“Sure.” I kick off my boots and flop down on his bed, trying to appear more composed than I am. “What are you thinking? Horror? Romance? A comedy? Or Rom Com?” I smirk wickedly, because Ayden hates Rom Coms.
He studies me, touching his fingers to his lips. “I don’t know . . . Whatever you want to watch, I guess.”
“How about no movies and just . . .” Something about the way he’s looking at me, with hunger in his eyes, gives me the courage to get to my feet, walk up to him, and brush my lips against his. I half expect him to pull away—it’s always a fifty-fifty chance with him. Instead, he deepens the kiss, groaning as he backs me toward the bed.
“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” he whispers between our fervent kisses. “I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
My stomach does a flip as I smile against his lips. “You know I never do anything I don’t want to do.”
“I know . . . I just want this to . . .” His voice sounds strained. “For you to . . . For this to be perfect for you.”
“Trust me. It already is.” I collide my lips with his, and the kiss goes from slow and savoring, to reckless and nervous.
We fall clumsily onto the mattress and I giggle as our teeth clank together. He laughs, but the mood instantly turns serious again as he slips his tongue into my mouth.
I whimper as he bites my bottom lip, my back arching as I clutch onto his shirt, pulling him closer. His hands travel all over the outside of my shirt before I move back and pull it off. His fingers slide down my stomach and to the top of my jeans, and he fumbles with the button then the zipper.
By the time he strips me bare, I’m so nervous I’m shaking.
“A-are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, his voice wobbly, unsteady, completely Ayden.
I nod, staring up at him. “I don’t have anything though . . . Do you?”
He hesitates then gets up and walks to his dresser. When he returns, his shaky hand is carrying a condom.
“When did you get that?” I ask, trying to conceal my laughter over how guilty he looks that he has a condom.
He sighs, dropping the condom onto the bed as his eyes drink in every inch of me. “Lila made Ethan give some to me after they caught us fooling around that one time.”
I prop up on my elbows, biting back a smile. “Well, as embarrassing as that must’ve been for you, I’m glad they did.”
“You are?” His question isn’t as simple as it sounds.
I nod then sit up and snag the hem of his shirt. He sucks in a sharp breath then raises his hands and lets me tug his shirt over his head. Once I get it off, I chuck it on the floor while he removes his jeans, leaving him only in his boxers. I take in the sight of him as I trace my fingers across his lean, but scarred stomach. I wish I could erase the pain of each one. Wish he never had to go through what he did.
Wish. Wish. Wish.
Wish upon a star.
Wish and wish and wish.
You can spend all your time wishing.
But then you’d be missing out on this moment.
He hooks a finger underneath my chin, bringing my attention to his eyes. He pauses, giving me time to back out. I’m not going to. Now that we’re finally here in this moment, I never want to leave it.
“I-I love you.” He leans forward and seals his lips to mine.
I love you too.
More than anything, Ayden Gregory.
You are it for me.
I’M TERRIFIED OUT OF MY fucking mind as I put a condom on, lie Lyric down on the bed, and situate myself between her legs. My thoughts are racing a thousand miles a second as I suck in a breath and start to slip inside her. My entire body quivers and it makes me feel pathetically weak. Thankfully, Lyric senses my nearing panic attack.