“I am, jeez!” I giggled, situating myself to rest flat on my back. For the first time all night, Jax became silent, instantly enthralled with the idea I’d given him to sketch. Surprising, considering Oliver could’ve doodled it.
My eyes closed slowly as I enjoyed the alcohol-induced bliss, completely relaxed in Jax’s bedroom: a place I never thought I'd be lying in.
Jax sat beside me on a short stool while I began humming a melody my grandma used to play. He didn’t seem to pay me any mind.
“You think Logan misses me?” I mused.
“Oh, hell no! Don’t act like a sixteen-year-old bitch on me now. Total buzzkill, baby.”
“I’m serious.”
He groaned, clearly agitated. I popped one eye open to catch him shaking his head. It was my turn to pout now, and I did without shame. Still, he said nothing, ignoring me as he leaned over the clipboard in his hands to sketch.
It was only a second later when he peeked back up, smiling. It was an annoyingly cute smile—one that made it clear he’d appease me, if only the tiniest bit.
“I like you drunk; you’re not as mean. So I’ll say one thing, and then we drop you moping about Logan. Deal?”
“Deal!” I grinned, my giddiness returning.
He rolled his eyes, still smiling when he muttered, “Girls.”
“Come on,” I probed.
“All right, listen up: Besides Oliver, you’re the best damn thing that’s ever happened to my brother. He adores the hell out of you. Believe me, he misses you. Probably jerking off right now thinking about you.”
My face turned up. “Doubtful. He hasn’t even texted to tell me he arrived safely.” A frown set in. What was wrong with me?
“If he didn’t make it there, my mother would be blowing up my phone by now. You’re good—he’s just got a lot on his mind. I mean, he’s dealing with this Kurt bullshit. Gotta cut him some slack.”
Kurt. He made my blood boil. Amazing how liquor could send one spiraling from one emotion to another without pause.
“I hate Kurt,” I spewed, my face tight, a new fury replacing my blues.
“Good.” Jax chuckled. He held up the sketch, and I gave him a thumbs up and giant grin.
“You sure you want it lopsided?” he asked.
My mood shifted yet again and I giggled, unable to help myself given the way his eyes squinted in disapproval. “Hm. Perfect!”
Jax winked. “I sure am. Now let’s get you out of those jeans.”
He placed his hands on my hips and I bucked them off, springing upright. “What? No way!”
He stood beside me. “Well, how else am I gonna do this?”
“Here.” I climbed off the table and turned my back to him, then opened my jeans and folded the waist over twice. The purple thong hiding underneath peeked out, but there was little I could do about that other than grab a towel he had folded beside him and tuck it slightly over the front of my jeans. It hid everything he didn’t need to see.
“How’s that?” I whirled back around and hopped up on the table, ready to lie back and cease the spinning in my head. Slow movements next time.
“Works for me, although it’s not as much fun.”
I narrowed my eyes at him and he shrugged his shoulders. “Just saying,” he said with a snicker.
He set the sketchpad on the tray beside him, pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, then wiped something cool between my bellybutton and hip. He’d explained earlier that the design I wanted was easy to freehand, so I went with it.
This would be my first and probably last tattoo—a live-in-the-moment idea I’d happened upon out of the blue. The liquor was to blame, and Jax wasn’t gentleman enough to talk me into waiting until I’d sobered up. On the contrary, he’d practically dragged me up to his room.
I wanted it somewhere special for only Logan to enjoy, and Jax had pointed out the best spot: low enough that no one could ever see it unless I wanted them to. Worked for me.
With my pants open, it hit me that this probably wasn’t the most appropriate thing to be doing with my boyfriend’s little brother. But again, with alcohol involved, it seemed like a stellar idea. Plus, Jax was all talk. He was a flirt, yes, but I knew he’d never do anything that truly made me uncomfortable. Weirdly, I trusted him.
“Can I tell you a secret?” I asked, my hands fidgeting.
“As long as it’s a juicy one.” He studied his drawing, then dipped the needle in the tiny bit of ink.
“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”
His hand rubbed over the canvas of my flesh. “Yeah yeah, spill it already.”
I leaned sideways, which seemed to annoy him, but I didn’t stop until I was beside his ear. I attempted to whisper, but in my drunken state, it was probably more of a mild shout.
“I’m glad he’s dead.”
Jax pulled back, his features lit with amusement. “Baby, that’s no secret. And we all feel the same way.”
That didn’t make me feel any better. “But he’s a human being. No one deserves to die.”
“We all die eventually, and Kurt…he made his own choices. Not smart ones. Horrible ones, actually, that got him what he had coming.”
“But that’s not—”
“Did you deserve to get attacked?” he interrupted, his voice strained. My mouth snapped shut as he continued. “He was going to rape you, Cassandra! Was that deserved?”
I shook my head, understanding and agreeing. “I know, but still, I feel bad. And now they think Logan did it…because of me.” My voice dropped from the weight of the guilt.
“Come on, don’t be a sad drunk. Stop worrying so much. My brother didn’t kill Kurt—not that he wouldn’t have, but this wasn’t him. Now sit still so I can get started.”
“It’s going to hurt, huh?”
“Are you going to start crying on me next? ’Cause I swear to God—”
“More tequila!” I shouted.
“Good call. “ He poured me a shot, and I sat up to take it. “Drink up, then lie down and stay there. No more talking unless it’s to praise my work or get a little handsy, got it?”
“Got it. But just to be clear: My hands aren’t going anywhere near you.”
“Yeah yeah, I know.” He threw me a playful wink and I smiled, relaxing.
When the needle hit my skin a few seconds later, I bolted upright. Jax muttered a few curses under his breath as he leaned back, glaring at me.
“For Christ’s sake, woman! Lie the hell back down or I’m done.”
My face pinched, full of an apology that he ignored. The man was serious about his work.
“Sorry. I’m ready now.” I fell back and closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing. As he started again, my mind went off to my happy place, fantasizing about Logan’s expression when I showed him the tattoo. And I would—the instant he returned home.
“All right, that’s it,” Jax said, setting the needle down and cracking his knuckles. “She’s a beauty, if I do say so myself.”
“I wanna see.”
I sat up on my elbows and took the handheld mirror he held out for me. “Jax, it’s…it’s gorgeous. I can’t believe you did this.”