Heart thumping I want to run as he followed me up stairs never taking his eyes off me. Walking down the carpeted corridor my hand pausing on the door knob rattling it with my shaking hand, my mother's room right next to mines.

Christ Emily get a grip so what if she hears, you are going to be his wife two months from now anyway.

I scoff inwardly walking in.

The room is clean and cool, I had changed my bedding, drapes, scrub my bathtub until it shone brightly. The door lock clicking into place I turn to face him as he removes his watch and shirt placing them on the single chair close to the door.

"Are you on any birth control Emily?" my hands clasp firmly at my side clenching the fabric.

​Air in, air out breath, Emily breath.

"YYes of course"

"I will prove I am clean and you will do the same then I am going to come in you" tossing two condoms on the bed.

My legs shivering as he moved closer, the moment thickening between us.

My god he is beautiful despite the few faded scars on his chest, his soft dark hairs making it unnoticeable but I had nothing to cover my scars.

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"Are you prepared?" closing the gap between us.

I shook my head wildly mapping the hair over my face.




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