The sound of footsteps nearing us interrupted our kiss. We turned and saw Damien making his way over. Jaxon dug into his pocket and pulled out a key chain. He pulled out one key and handed it to me, telling me it was his apartment key. He instructed Damien to drop me directly at the apartment door and make sure I was safely inside. Then he went back into the bar and I was following Damien to a black SUV.
*****
Five minutes into the drive and I was losing my shit. This was not what I signed up for! I didn’t come to Gosnells only to wind up here in some strange ass predicament that involved bikie gangs and other weird gangs inked with scorpion tattoos who called dibs to fuck me.
Suddenly the entire week’s events came crashing down on me and I was sweating up a storm when Brett’s face shone itself in my memories. The stench of his alcohol in my nose, the wild craze in his eyes, the dark intentions that radiated off of him when he cornered me in that room.
Then shame washed down the fear as I remembered fucking Jaxon thereafter. What in God’s name was I thinking fucking him after almost getting raped by another man? What kind of psychological fucked-upness was that? To boot, I deceived a good man who, instead of being angry at me, defended me!
Five years of burying my anger, learning to control my actions, trying to change for the better only to relapse the second my feet touched down in this god forsaken cesspool of a town. All recent certainties were no longer certain. When Jaxon had me promising to stick by him tonight, he never mentioned this, and although I’d been aware of a danger looming presently around him, I never once anticipated this kind of it.
Yet despite all of this, the unsettling feeling I had beneath the surface of my being was in regards to something entirely different. As if I was missing a certain piece to this crazy puzzle I couldn’t put my finger on. Always it tried to course its way into my thoughts, and the second it was achieving tangibility, it scurried back off into my veiled subconscious.
“You sure you want me to take you to Jaxon’s?” I nearly jumped at Damien’s deep voice. I looked over at him, seated comfortably behind the wheel of the car. It then occurred to me I might be sitting beside a murderer.
“Where else would you have me go in this wonderfully safe town?” I sarcastically asked.
“Home,” he stated simply.
“What home are you referring to?”
“Winthrop, Sara. Just say the word and we’ll grab your shit and go back to your safe world.”
I looked at him perplexedly. “You’re supposed to follow Jaxon’s commands.”
“There are exceptions.”
I was silent for a while.
The car finally slowed to a stop in front of a tall, luxury apartment building. Damien kept the car running, patiently waiting with his eyes forward for my direction. My body was pushing for me to open the door and get out, to go to Jaxon’s apartment and wait for him to join me. But my mind was scattered like the rain that had started up again, pelting the car softly.
I let out a slow breath, gripping the seat with a hand on either side.
“That man that attacked me,” I started slowly, looking out into the quiet dark street. “Did you kill him?”
“Yes.” The answer came so quick, I almost thought it was my imagination.
I discreetly looked over at him, even though I’m sure he could feel the intensity of my gaze. “Because Jaxon told you to.” I was mindful to make that into a statement. I didn’t need clarification. It was apparent. Still, I had to say it, almost like I needed to hear myself clarify my worst fear.
“The man was spineless. He didn’t deserve to live, so I’m not carrying too much guilt. Still, I’m not going to tell you the others were just as dirty.”
“O-Others?”
He exhaled, drumming his fingers along the steering wheel before he turned his dark stare on me. “I’m giving you the option to get out of this, Sara, because I know you’re smart. You’re better than this kind of life. You think you’ll be in an exclusive relationship with Jaxon? That he won’t be with other women while he’s with you?” I opened my mouth to respond, but he shook his head. “Don’t speak. Listen.”
The rain picked up, and with the interior car light on, the outside world looked like a black hole we were sucked up in.
“I’m not going to deny he loves you. He does. I’m sure he wants all the things you want too. But he’s part of the Scorpions now. Which means everything that’s his is theirs, too. Do you understand what I’m saying? Answer me.”
“Yes,” I whispered, fighting the tremble of my lips.
“Do you know what that would mean if you were his?”
“That-that I’d be theirs, too.”
He gave me a single nod. “Exactly. Just as they expect to have a piece of you, they demand of him to have a piece of their women just as well. There is no way out of this, Sara. Once you’re in, you can’t get out.”
It felt as though I were divided into two beings: one burning up bright for a man I wanted with everything inside of me, and the other who was clutching her shattered heart in her hand knowing there was no way I could go forward with this.
“Why are you telling me all of this?” It didn’t make sense for him to go against the loyalty of his men to warn me of how horrid they were.
“Because you have a choice, but you don’t have a lot of time to make it.” I didn’t realize my hand was shaking until his large hand wrapped around it.
“If this is how it is, what made you join?” I asked him.
He laughed bitterly. “I didn’t have the luxury of choice.”
“You were forced?”
“No, but it meant something worse if I didn’t.” I wanted to ask what, but when his face contorted to sadness, I decided not to pry.
I wondered why fortune smiled upon me at critical times. I certainly didn’t feel deserving of it. When I starved as a child, I was taken in by Lucinda. When I was lonely, Jaxon befriended me. When I didn’t have a job, one found me. Twice. And now this. A warning that held the weight of my future in its grip. Without Damien’s brutal honesty, I’d have blindly trusted Jaxon. I’d be in the apartment that very moment having no clue what I would be getting myself into.