Loving and hating someone at the same time was crazy. Sophie knew that. But she’d never been able to stop the way she felt about Jake.
All at once, the week full of highs and lows, of excitement and fear, of joy and anger, came crashing down on her. She didn’t want to think about the ramifications of what he’d just done by talking to Zach, couldn’t even begin to process what it would mean to really and truly have Jake’s love.
All she wanted was to feel.
“I need you.” Her throat was thick with emotion. “Make love to me.”
Maybe, she thought as she frantically fumbled with his belt buckle, it would be easier to believe him if they were skin to skin, connected by flesh and heat and pleasure. Maybe then she’d be able to actually hold onto his words of love instead of feeling like they were simply skidding past her, flying out of reach before she could catch them.
“Sophie, you know I want you. I always want you.” But instead of helping her strip his clothes off, he put his hands over hers. “But we don’t have to do th—”
“Please.”
She didn’t want to hit the Pause button, couldn’t stand it if he tried to be rational rather than just taking her. She yanked his zipper down and pulled his shirt from his pants a beat before he finally gave her what she wanted and unzipped her skirt to push it down her hips. She shoved his jeans down to his thighs, then kicked off her shoes. His fingertips grazed the bare skin of her stomach, pulling her sweater over her head right before she yanked open the buttons on his long-sleeved shirt. A heartbeat later she was straddling his hips and sinking down onto him, her eyes closing as she took him inside.
Yes, this was exactly what she needed right now. Pleasure to replace her confusion. Ecstasy to replace the fear.
And yet, she remembered too late that sex with Jake had never been simple, had never just been about pleasure. They’d always been such a perfect fit, their bodies utterly in tune with each other even during that first stolen night in Napa.
But this time it wasn’t just attraction that joined them, it wasn’t just the spark of arousal that made everything feel so good. It was the possibility that the magic between them was more than skin deep, more than just hormones and unavoidable passion.
“Sophie.” Jake groaned her name and she was caught in his dark gaze as he stilled her frantic movements over him with strong hands on her hips. “You’re so beautiful.” He moved a hand to cup her br**sts, tilting up to run his tongue over each peak. “I love you. So, so much.” A flood of pure desperation pulled them closer together, wrapping around them as Jake buried his face against her chest and they shuddered against each other.
* * *
When Jake led her into the shower a few minutes later, she got a chance to see the full extent of the damage he’d incurred from his fight with her brother. In addition to the horrible bruises all across his jaw and over one eye, the ribs on his right side were turning black and blue.
“I can’t believe Zach did this to you.” She gently cleaned the cuts with a soft washcloth and soap, hating the way Jake winced at the sting.
“You’re his sister. He feels like he’s let you down by not protecting you from a guy like me.”Anger welled up inside her again, not just at Zach for what he’d done to Jake, but at her entire family. “Why don’t any of them realize I can take care of myself?”
“Don’t fault them for loving you.”
But she was shaking her head. “Is it really love if there isn’t trust there, too?”
Jake went completely still. “Sophie, I—”
He cut himself off, and when she looked up at him she saw his eyes flashing with emotion he’d tried to hide so many times before.
But then his hands were on her hips and he was turning her away from him before saying, “I’ve always wanted to wash your hair.”
She knew what he was doing, avoiding yet another conversation they needed to have. About trusting each other not to do things like go to her brother behind her back. But his fingers massaging her scalp felt so good that she simply didn’t have the strength to make him stop.
“Close your eyes.”
She was already a step ahead of him, her eyes having closed the moment he’d started washing her. Suds and water ran down her shoulders, over her body, as he cleaned every inch of her skin, his touch so gentle, so sweet. Especially over her stomach.
“You’ve grown bigger already.”
She couldn’t miss the reverence in his voice. Maybe another time she could have made another pregnancy fetish joke, but not now, not when his joy was so pure. So honest.
“I can’t wait to watch you grow even rounder, even softer.”
Her stomach growled loudly and he turned off the water, wrapping her in a towel. “Sounds like it’s time to feed you again.”
“I have some eggs and cheese in the fridge.” She felt like her voice was coming from a mile away, like she was standing on the outside of her bathroom looking in at the two of them.
Jake lowered his face to hers and kissed her so softly it was more of a breath than a kiss. “I’ll get working on dinner while you get dressed.”
After he pulled his jeans back on and left the bathroom, she stared at herself in the foggy mirror. The blurred, partial image facing her was a perfect manifestation of how she was feeling.
She’d just gotten exactly what she’d always wanted. Jake McCann had told her—repeatedly—that he loved her. She should be ecstatic. She should be leaping around her apartment in bliss.