Chapter 36: What is This?
Translator: Editor:
The guards felt outraged. It was certainly a humble gift, no doubt about it! He dared come up to the door of the Empire of Yutang’s greatest military marshal with just five peaches and a self-satisfied look.
Young Master Yun was a brazen man indeed!
The guard went in to announce his arrival. Another guard came out instantly to invite the man in, wondering what would the Old Marshal’s expression be once he saw the peaches. Now that he thought about it, he was certain that this was going to be an occasion worthy of much gossip.
Yun Yang thanked him and went straight in with his peaches. At the entrance of the foyer, Sir Wang smiled amicably. “Good, Young Master Yun is finally here. The Old Marshal is waiting in the hall.”
With his status, it was impossible for Old Marshal Qiu to come welcome the man himself. In actual fact, with Yun Yang’s second generation status, Sir Wang felt that the man had already been given too much honor when he sent to welcome the latter. However, it was an invitation initiated by the Old Marshal, Sir Wang could only humble himself and bite the bullet.
“Please, do come on in.”
Yun Yang beamed as he entered the hall with high spirits. The sight of Old Marshal Qiu sitting regally in the host’s seat greeted him, his intimidating aura welcoming the youth.
Yet Yun Yang’s gaze was not on the old marshal but rather on the face of the other person in the room.
This person was in his mid-forties, his face square and jade-like. Although he was only dressed in a casual robe, he exuded an aura of natural authority and dignity. Even as he sat, it felt as if he had the whole world under his feet. Although the man was trying his hardest to keep his aura in check, it was still entirely exposed in Yun Yang’s eyes. Moreover, Yun Yang had met this man, and more than once at that.
It was His Majesty the Emperor of the Empire of Yutang, Yu Peize!
Yun Yang didn’t let his gaze linger and turned his head after a quick glance; maintaining his unaffected gaze and expression as he would have any other stranger – slightly curious, but cautious at the same time.
“Young Master Yun is indeed Marquis Yun’s son; you both have the same charm,” Qiu Jianhan broke the ice, in accordance with the duties of a host.
“It is my pleasure to meet Old Sir Qiu.” Yun Yang bowed formally. “It is this one’s honor to be invited by old sir. Regretfully, this one’s home is incredibly poor and barren. I have heard my father mention that the Old Marshal enjoys peaches, so...”
Yun Yang raised the peaches in his hands.
“Uh…”
Although Old Marshal Qiu was as cunning as an old fox, he was still caught off guard by Yun Yang’s actions. His thoughts ceased momentarily as he could only nod in stunned acceptance and forced a smile on his face, laughing dryly. “Ahem, truly, peaches are my favorite. Servant, come, keep these peaches away.” His heart though, was saying, “I don’t meet your rascal of a father that often, how would he know that I liked peaches? Isn’t it amazing that I didn’t even know that myself? I haven’t so much as seen a peach for years! That little wretch.”
Outwardly Old Marshal Qiu maintained a peacefully amicable expression. “As my guest, you are an outsider no longer. Come, allow me to introduce you to your… Uncle Yu. He is an old friend of your father.”
“A pleasure to meet you, Uncle Yu.” Yun Yang bowed courteously. “You look so much younger than my father. Just a single glance tells me that Uncle Yu is a powerful official who takes care of himself well. I am certain that you lead a happy life, filled with joyous moods, filial children, and a harmonious family.”
His Majesty the Emperor did not know whether to laugh or cry upon hearing the youth’s words as he said, “Please don’t be nervous. We’ve asked for your presence today just to attend Old Marshal Qiu’s ample feast; there is no other intention beyond that. Don’t be an outsider, sit.”
Yun Yang kept his arms wrapped around himself. “This nephew1 is a good-for-nothing popinjay who has achieved nothing in both literature and martial arts. There is no place for this nephew in front of two distinguished elders such as yourselves…”
“Just sit when you’re asked to sit!” Old Marshal Qiu hollered impatiently.
“Yes, yes. Right.” Yun Yang shuddered in fright, chose stool timidly and sat down, half perched on the seat. He spoke nervously, “This… this nephew is afraid.”
Seeing that he had finally sat down, Old Marshal Qiu and His Majesty the Emperor shared a look that expressed absolute disenchantment.
How could this fellow be so weak?
Courses of scrumptiously cooked dishes were served like an endless flow of water, the aroma wafting over to greet everyone’s noses. Just a moment later, the table was filled with over twenty dishes of unsurpassed excellence.
“Do you drink?” Old Marshal Qiu was disappointed, his tone becoming harsh as he eyed askance at the young master.
“No… This nephew doesn’t… doesn’t drink,” Yun Yang replied softly with a nervous bow.
“Do you drink or not!” The Old Marshal hollered again.
“… yes, yes, I do!” Yun Yang lifted his sleeve to dab at his forehead.
“Pour it to the brim!” The Old Marshal waved an impatient hand at Yun Yang, ordering him to quickly fill up the goblet.
“Yes, most certainly.” Yun Yang hastily lifted the wine jar and filled the Old Marshal’s goblet before filling His Majesty the Emperor’s. Since His Majesty did not reveal his identity here, Yun Yang had poured the wine for the Old Marshal first, to keep up the pretense.
“Hmph!” Old Marshal’s expression was turning darker as he raised his goblet. “Bottoms up!”
“I believe that this nephew should eat something first…” Yun Yang looked terribly uncomfortable at having so much drink on an empty stomach.
“Are you a woman, to behave so squeamishly? When I say bottoms up, you drink it all!” Old Marshal spoke angrily and with heat.
“Yes, yes…” Yun Yang raised the goblet with trembling hands and emptied it. He immediately choked on the fiery liquid, and began to cough and splutter. The Old Marshal and His Majesty the Emperor looked at each other in disappointment. These two figureheads of paramount importance had taken the effort and time out of their demanding schedules to evaluate this mysterious young man, but they were sorely disillusioned to observe the revolting spectacle before them.
“Eat something,” Old Marshal said in disgust.
“Yes, yes… elder one, please eat as well; Uncle Yu, please eat… This nephew… this nephew has not been courteous.” Yun Yang was obviously putting up a false front that belied his nervousness as he stretched his arm out and grabbed a big piece of meat that was about half a catty. With a large chomp, half of the half-catty meat had disappeared. Chewing twice, he stretched his neck like a giraffe’s before he swallowed it and said in an unconvincing attempt at flattery, “It’s really delicious!”
The veins on the Old Marshal’s forehead were about to pop as His Majesty the Emperor lowered his head, his expression dark. The Old Marshal sighed and emptied his goblet, attempting to drown his sorrows in alcohol.
“Bottoms up!” Yun Yang raised his goblet stupidly, emulating the marshal’s large swig to empty the liquid in his own goblet as well.
“This child is a simpleton.” His Majesty the Emperor was crestfallen at the realization.
The Old Marshal sighed in response, “Yes, since Marquis Yun is rarely at home, this child…”
Halfway through his observation, he suddenly remembered, “Innocent? This fellow just insolently wrecked the residence of the Board of War’s Deputy Minister yesterday, and beat up the father and son duo in the process!”
“How could such a person be so innocent?”
“Yun Yang.”
“This nephew is here.”
“Let me ask you something.”
“Please ask all you wish, Old Marshal. This nephew will answer what this nephew knows without hiding anything.”
“Why did you beat up the family of the Board of War’s Deputy Minister Xie Wuyuan yesterday?” The Old Marshal was making only a marginal effort to keep his anger tamped down.
“Well...” Yun Yang was hesitant in answering the question and looked immensely troubled that it had been asked.
His Majesty the Emperor glanced at the Old Marshal and an unspoken agreement flashed between them. Let us ask him again after the alcohol loosens his tongue..
“Let’s drink!” The Old Marshal caught on immediately as he lifted his goblet in a toast.
“Yes, yes.” Yun Yang emptied his goblet, wiping his mouth surreptitiously.
“Here’s another three more… Drink up!”
“Another three? Alright, alright.”
Clink! Clink! Clink!
“Look, our goblets are still full. Let’s do another three!”
Clink! Clink! Clink!
“Come, Uncle Yu will drink another three goblets with you!”
Clink! Clink! Clink!
Yun Yang ate ravenously as he drank the copious amounts of wine. With the increasing amount of alcohol that he had consumed, his actions grew unrestrained as he began to chortle and joke.
He had a mystical beast thigh in his left hand and a big piece of mystical beast drumstick in his right; he took a bite from both sides respectively as he relished the delicacy. His eyes were squinted as he grew increasingly tipsy and said, “Honestly… Old Marshal, this meat is really good! The dishes and drink tonight are really gratifying. This wine is simply… superb!”
Clink! He tossed down a goblet of wine without anyone prompting him to do so; his handsome face was already flushed as his body refused to respond properly to his instructions.
Well, it is about time.
Both old men nodded in agreement.
“Now, let me ask you again Yun Yang. Why did you beat people up yesterday?” The Old Marshal repeated his earlier question.
Yun Yang was already drunk and his head was tipped over as he spoke loudly, “Beat him? So what about it? It's a pity I didn’t go all out! Hmph… such trash, the world will be a much cleaner place the faster he dies!”
“Why?” old marshal asked frowning.
“Why?” Yun Yang’s eyes took on a glazed quality as he forced himself to sit upright and spoke in a loud voice, “Old Marshal, you know as well as I do that this nephew is a good-for-nothing popinjay; this nephew…”
Old Marshal fell speechless while His Majesty the Emperor came close to spitting out all that he had eaten.
“But this nephew keeps score in his heart!” Yun Yang was swaying drunkenly. “Yesterday, your father was prepared to keep his nose out of other people’s affairs.”
He had been using ‘this nephew’ earlier but now he had begun to lace it with lines of ‘your father’, causing both His Majesty the Emperor and the Old Marshal to look at each other in exasperation upon hearing it.
This is f*cking outrageous! In all the Empire of Yutang, no else but this fellow would dare to address himself as ‘your father’ in front of us!
Qiu Jianhan, with his long face, looked at His Majesty the Emperor with barely hidden resentment. “I said no, but your majesty insisted on having a look at him yourself. Look at what good it’s done us, look at what I’ve gotten out of this!”
“But Old Marshal, did you know? The person they harassed was actually a veteran! A handicapped veteran!” Yun Yang spoke with righteousness, his entire being lusted for justice, “This veteran had gone to the war for this nation; his living was already made difficult with his handicap. That f*cking son of Xie Wuyuan actually wanted to get his hands on his wife, by accusing him of theft.”
“This nephew is a good-for-nothing!” Yun Yang spoke loudly as his arms waved, the juicy drumstick in his hand spurted sauce everywhere; His Majesty the Emperor and the Old Marshal were both trying to avoid the drips with humorless smiles but Yun Yang did not notice. “But at least this nephew has a conscience! I know that soldiers went to the war for the country; they’re still heroes even when they’re handicapped!”
“It would be bad enough if they were harassing people and ordinary citizens, your father doesn’t have time to argue with them!” Yun Yang howled, “But how could they terrorize veterans? Since words were useless, your father had to intervene and take charge of the situation!”
“Therefore, your father helps in the name of justice! I charged into the doors of the Xie family and valiantly showered them with my kicks and punches!” Yun Yang’s eyes grew increasingly glazed. “… This is for… err… justice!”
He burped a few times then roared again, flailing his arms, “For justice! For heroes! It’s too bad I didn’t have a saber in my hands!”
He appeared to be slightly soberer as he sat down like a heap of potatoes and laughed in an ingratiating way, “Well, even if I did have a saber, I wouldn’t dare kill anyone with it anyway...”
His Majesty and the Old Marshal were flustered to the point of silence; sauces that had flown from Yun Yang’s wild gesturing stained their robes. Although they had tried their best to avoid the splattering juices, the table was rather small, and they had no way shield themselves from the onslaught. The Old Marshal had sauce in his hair and beard; His Majesty the Emperor didn’t fare much better as a lump of gravy dripped from his neck.
“These dishes are no longer edible.” The marshal heaved a loud sigh but both of their jaws dropped in shock when they finally took a look at the spread in front of them.
Where did the dishes go?
What had happened to the meat?
Miraculously, the table was empty.
Translator Note:
1This nephew (小侄xiǎo zhí): first person pronoun to humbly address self as someone’s nephew.