I’d done it. The LA werewolf pack had been dealt a huge blow when Caroline, the sigma, was killed. And then I’d made everything so much worse by taking away the pack’s beta and stirring up rumors and animosity, making everyone doubt Will. I was the one who’d made the pack unstable, creating an opening in the pack’s magic for the nova to waltz into town and start killing women. “It’s my fault,” I said, realizing too late that I was speaking out loud.
Jesse’s eyebrows furrowed with confusion, but Will had been looking at me in the dim light, and he had seen the moment when I understood what I had done. He gave me a tired little nod of acknowledgment that said, I know. You didn’t mean to. But now we’re screwed.
Tears stung my eyes, and I swiped at them with the back of my hand. I turned my head to stare out the window, not wanting the two men to see me cry. After Olivia had killed my parents, I’d blamed myself for a long time. But I had been wrong then. It wasn’t like I’d made a series of bad decisions or mistakes that had led to Olivia deciding she needed to become my new mommy after dispensing with the old one. I had just been there, and she’d decided to take me, and I had no more responsibility in the matter than an apple does when it gets blown off a tree. I finally understood all that now, after I’d seen Olivia again and realized just how batshit crazy she really was.
But this was different from that, and different from Eli feeling responsible for what he’d done after he’d eaten the wolfberry. My actions—my choices—had made the pack unstable and crippled Will’s magic, leaving it vulnerable to bad behavior and the nova wolf. I had deprived Lydia of the pack’s beta and driven Anastasia to a desperate rage that legitimately frightened me. I had carelessly opened a door that I didn’t understand and fucked around with a system that was ancient, complex, and delicate. And I had done it on a whim, out of pity for a situation I couldn’t even comprehend.
When the van stopped a few minutes later, I didn’t move. “Scarlett,” Jesse said sharply, sounding exasperated, and I realized that this wasn’t the first time he’d said my name. I jerked my eyes to him. “This is the place, right?” he asked, in a tone that said, Get it together.
“What? Yeah,” I said shakily. We were at Artie’s studio. I told Jesse to unlock the gate and pull the van around back, and he complied without another word. That was fine with me. I wasn’t in a talking mood at that point, anyway.
“Scarlett,” Will said quietly, and I turned to look back at him. “Why don’t you and I take the remains inside. Detective Cruz can stay here and keep an eye on the van.”
I nodded gratefully. I wasn’t sure if Will was trying to spare Jesse from having to physically destroy the remains, or if he was just trying to keep the worst of our disposal methods from the police. Either way, I was glad to spare Jesse the sight of Kathryn Wong’s body being shoved into the furnace. Jesse didn’t comment, which I took as agreement.
Will carried the body bag, I held the doors, and we got the body into the furnace without incident. I thought about saying something as Kathryn Wong’s body went into the furnace. If Will hadn’t been there with me, I might have.
When we got back to the car, Jesse wouldn’t meet my eyes. I didn’t blame him. All three of us were subdued and quiet on the way back to Will’s.
Finally Will spoke into the terse silence. “I’ll call a pack meeting for tomorrow night to try to get things stabilized. What do you two need to hunt the nova?”
I looked at Jesse, who said promptly, “We need a roster of all the pack members.”
Will’s eyes narrowed. “You can’t just go around interrogating the pack,” he objected. “That won’t exactly help them trust me again.”
“Tough shit,” Jesse said shortly.
“Jesse!” I hissed.
He looked at me. “I’m past being polite, Scarlett. One of them made a monster. He has to answer for it.”
The alpha looked between us for a long moment, and then nodded reluctantly. “All right. Talk to the pack,” he said quietly. “But Scarlett can’t go.”
I understood, but Jesse looked puzzled. “They all hate me right now,” I explained. “They think I have a cure and I’m keeping it from them.”
“Isn’t that . . . sort of true?” Jesse asked, not unkindly.
It stung anyway, and I worked to keep my face straight. “Yes. But Will’s right. I can’t go rubbing their faces in it.”
Jesse looked uneasy, and I realized he was a little afraid to track down the werewolves without me around to negate them. I understood, but there wasn’t really anything to be done, and finally he nodded in agreement. “If we’re going to split up,” he said slowly, “You can at least make yourself useful.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“If I’m getting this, there are two ways to stop the nova,” he said, glancing at Will. “Either we find out who made him, or we find out how he’s choosing his victims.”
“You want me to go talk to the victims’ families?” I blurted out, my eyes wide.
Jesse nodded. “You can start with Leah Rhodes’s roommate and go from there. I’ll help you come up with a cover story and give you some questions.”
“What if—I don’t know if I can—” I sputtered. I had interviewed people without Jesse before, but only Old World people. Talking to civilians had always been Jesse’s purview, not mine.