He shook his head. “My father thought that when he married my mom. He was wrong, and it made him miserable.”
Both his father’s and his mother’s choices had made Logan miserable, and the one thing Des understood was suffering the consequences of someone else’s choices. She wrapped her hands around his arm, always surprised and excited by the strength she felt there.
“Logan, you can’t damn yourself and your future because of your father’s choices or your mother’s sins. You have to allow yourself to fall in love, to find someone you care about and ask them to become a part of your life out here. It’s an amazing life and one that’s worth sharing. You have to start making your own choices instead of living with the consequences of someone else’s.”
“What would you know about that?”
She leaned against the truck. “I hated that my father was army, that whenever I’d get settled in one spot and make friends or get my bedroom decorated just perfectly, my dad would get new orders and we’d have to pull up stakes and move again. We were like nomads, and I never once in my life felt settled.
“My mom always accepted this, and of course she had married into the army, so she knew that was what life was going to be like. But I hated it, and I vowed that some day I’d have a permanent house in one location and lots of friends and I’d never move again.”
Logan laughed. “And then you became an actress, and now you travel all over the country and the world. So what does that mean?”
Her lips lifted. “That life very rarely turns out like you expect it to. I had planned to get married, raise a bunch of kids, and settle in one place. I was never going to move them around like I was moved constantly when I was a kid. But that didn’t happen for me. I told you the acting bug bit when I was in high school. I never in a million years thought I’d become a success. I did move out to Hollywood when I turned eighteen, figuring I’d give it a try for a year or two, just to see what would happen.”
“And now you’re a success and making money and you could buy a house anywhere you want to, yet you still live in a condo in L.A. Why?”
Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? “Because I still don’t feel . . . settled. I still feel like that nomad, like I haven’t yet found that place I can call home yet.”
“So you’re saying you’re not happy?”
“I am happy. I have the career I’ve always dreamed of and I love the travel, which isn’t at all like all the moving around I did as a kid.”
He crossed his arms and gave her a look. “Because you’re the one calling the shots now?”
“I guess so. There’s a lot to be said for being in charge of creating your own destiny, Logan.”
“In other words, you’re not going to marry some dude in the military.”
She gave him a horrified look. “God, no. Any more than you’re going to marry some citified chick who’s going to give you three children, then abandon them.”
His jaw went tight and she laid her hand on his arm. “Your dad didn’t make a mistake, Logan, he just fell in love. But you learned from the mistakes your mother made. Give yourself some credit and know when the time comes, you’ll choose the right woman, the one who’ll love this land as much as you do, and who’ll be here for your kids.”
Logan looked at Des, this citified chick she was just talking about. He wondered if she realized how much she had just been describing herself. A worldly young woman whose life was just starting out, who still had dreams yet to fulfill.
A woman like her would never be satisfied with a life on a ranch.
Not that he was thinking of marrying her or anything. He could never see her as a ranch wife, could never imagine a Hollywood actress as a wife and mother, working the land side by side with him.
But he liked talking to her, and there weren’t a lot of women he could open up to like he had with Des. She understood him, and after tonight, he understood her a lot better, too.
So after she was finished shooting her movie she’d go her way, and he’d go his.
And maybe, just maybe, he’d find that one woman who’d love his ranch and want to have his children and settle down on his ranch. Because he was thirty-four and it was getting damn time to start creating his future.
A future that didn’t include a hot and sexy actress with black silky hair and ever-changing eye color. Because she’d be off creating her own happiness—somewhere else.
He didn’t know how he felt about that.
“So, now it’s dark and I didn’t bring a flashlight. Care to give me a ride back?” she asked.
Pushing aside the unsettling thoughts tightening his insides, he said, “Sure. Climb on in.”
He drove her to the set and parked in the lot, then got out.
“You don’t have to walk me to my trailer, Logan. It’s not that far from the lot here.”
He came up beside her. “It’s dark out, and yeah, I do have to walk you.”
They passed a trailer where there was a lot of heavy laughter and loud music.
“Colt’s trailer,” she said. “Some of our friends are in from L.A. They’ll be at the picnic tomorrow at the ranch, provided you don’t mind.”
“Don’t mind at all. I’m surprised you’re not there partying with them.”
She looked straight ahead. “I wasn’t in much of a partying mood tonight.”
He cupped the back of her neck. “Because I made you angry.”
“Partly. Some of it was on me.”
He felt the tension in the muscles of her neck, and when she got to her trailer, he said, “Ask me to come in.”
She turned to face him. “Logan, would you like to come in?”
He liked that there was no game-playing with Des. She wore her emotions—and her desire—right on the surface, never hiding anything from him. When she was mad, he knew it. When she wanted him—he knew that, too. “Yes.”
She opened the door and he followed her inside, closing it and locking them in. Not that he’d know who had a key, but just in case her friends decided to come looking for her, he wanted them to know they weren’t going to have access to her tonight. “No party for you tonight.”
Her lips kicked into a sexy half smile. “I don’t know about that. Party for two, maybe.”