“Well, looks like you two have been getting reacquainted.” He smiled in my direction but I avoided his gaze and slid off the bed. I backed against the wall as the nurse slid between us and began checking his vitals and gave him the small plastic cup of pills in her hand. The doctor spouted off some information, but I didn’t absorb any of it. My brain was in a fog of sadness.
It took a minute for me to realize the room had fallen silent. I glanced up to see all three sets of eyes on me.
“I’m sorry?” I said, hoping they would repeat the information.
“You will be helping him with his transition at home, correct?”
William’s parents had skipped town for what they deemed as more important things and that only left me. The complete stranger with the broken heart. This should be fun. I wiped the tears from my cheek and nodded. He gave me a small smile and turned back to William.
“Good. All looks well and we should be able to have you out of here in no time.” He smiled again and William thanked him. Soon, we were alone again and the walls felt as if they were closing in on us.
I made myself busy by gathering my things. I dug through my purse and located my keys. Thankfully William’s… Will’s parents had thought ahead and retrieved my car from the pizza joint I had left it at lifetime ago. Back when I still had a life to speak of.
If I thought I was empty before meeting William, it didn’t hold a candle to the aching I felt inside now. The worst part was that I would have to stay by his side and smile at his empty eyes, keeping my pain and sadness to myself. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him everything he had done to me, but I couldn’t. He had a fresh slate, even if it was temporary. This would be the best time for me to leave. When he had no idea that the person he loved was walking out on him. I laughed at myself as my eyes blurred with tears. What was I thinking? How could I walk away from him? He was all I had and I loved him. When I thought I might lose him, I didn’t want to go on myself.
I hated myself for wanting to stay and I hated myself for wanting to abandon him. There was no winning in this situation. I was destined to suffer in sadness. If he remembered, maybe then I would confront him and tell him how hurt I was, but would it matter?
The nurse brought us two trays of food and we sat together in awkward silence. I wanted to probe him further, find out what memories he retained, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. If he remembered any woman and not me, it would be the final stab to the heart. I couldn’t take anymore.
I pushed the Salisbury steak around my plate as I watched him devour his food.
“You should eat something.” He smiled as he spoke and a mixture of anger and longing bubbled up inside of me. I cut a small bite and ate it. He smiled again and turned back to his food. His kindness and pleasant demeanor confused me even more. His brain had taken him to more pleasant times. Times that didn’t include me. That hurt.
We finished our meal and only had to deal with doctors a few more times before it was time to get some sleep. I curled up in the small plush chair that offered little in the way of comfort.
“Emma…” William’s voice trailed off and I didn’t ask him to continue his thought.
“Good night,” I whispered and tucked my knees into my chest, allowing exhaustion to win its battle it had fought with me over the past few days.
The next morning could not arrive soon enough. Doctors and nurses floated in and out and eventually they had given us the go ahead to leave the hospital.
I told myself I would drop of William and leave, go back to my aunt’s. I assumed I’d be allowed back in the house by now. The thought terrified me, but the thought of being with William, and him not even knowing who I was, was worse.
I stole glances at him as he stared out the window, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings.
“Not much farther.” I turned down the road towards his place. He looked confused and my heart sank. He needed me. I needed to be there for him.
Chapter Nineteen
As we stepped inside the expansive building, William looked around.
“This is ours?” He asked as he looked over towards the stairs. I smiled and looked down at my feet.
“This is yours. I live… somewhere else.” The thought of my aunt stung. I didn’t know how I would ever go back to that place. I didn’t want to.
He looked at me for a moment before walking towards the steps. I followed behind him. He paused at the door on the next landing.
“This it?” he asked. I nodded. His eyes traveled up the next set of stairs. “What’s up there?” I couldn’t contain the blush that spread across my face.
“It’s under construction.” I lied, feeling the guilt wash over me. As much as I had enjoyed our time on the third floor, I still had no idea where William and I stood. I was in no hurry to bring back the guy who had broken my heart.
He ran his hand through his hair and stepped aside, waiting for me to unlock the door. I did, with the key he had made for me. I would have to remember to return it when he got his memory back. I pushed the door open so he could step inside. He looked around, taking it all in before stepping aside so I could enter.
“What do you think?” I asked, dropping my purse on the island. His eyes followed me as I opened the fridge for a drink.
“Want something?” I asked as I grabbed a soda. His eyes flicked to the island where he kept his extra bottles of liquor and back to me. My brows pulled together as I waited for him to tell me he remembered something.
“A soda would be fine.” He grinned. He looked so relaxed, so carefree. I didn’t want to go back to the fight before the accident. It was easier to lie to myself and pretend that this was the man wasn’t the one who had broken my heart. I wasn’t sure that was even possible.
I grabbed him a drink from the fridge and sat it on the island. He walked towards me and stopped, grabbing his drink.
“Thank you.” His half grin revealed a sexy dimple that made my whole body go warm.
“You’re welcome.”
He ran a hand through his hair and cracked open his drink. I rummaged through the fridge for something to eat.
“You seem to know your way around here.” He cocked his head to the side. My mind automatically wondered who else knew their way around his place.
“I’ve spent a lot of time here.” I bit my lip as I grabbed a few things from the fridge to make sandwiches. I laid everything on the counter in front of us and grabbed a few plates from the cupboard and a knife from the drawer.
He took another sip from his drink as he watched me begin to slice a tomato.
“You are doing that all wrong.” He rounded the counter and stood behind me with his body flush against my back. His arms came around me as he slid his hands over mine and guided the knife. His breath blew against my neck causing my skin to break out in goose bumps. I stiffened, not sure if I could handle having him so near. “There,” he whispered against my ear.
“I see you didn’t forget everything.” I laughed nervously. I was terrified to deal with all of the secrets and lies. He backed away.
“I guess some things just stay with you.” He smiled as he took a seat on the stool in front of me. My heart ached. I wasn’t one of those things. Maybe Allison was. As scared as I was to deal with our problems, it hurt that he could forget who I was. I wanted to lash out, but it would be pointless. I wiped at my check quickly and ducked my head, finishing our sandwiches. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time but I forced myself not to look at him. I would completely lose it if I had to stare into those damn blue eyes that were void of all memory of me. One thing I had noticed was his lack of… firmness against me. Was the gesture completely innocent? I snorted at using the word innocent to describe William. He looked at me as if I was completely crazy.
“Sorry. I just thought of something… funny.” I slid his plate in front of him and took a seat next to him. It was awkward being so close to him without the sexual tension that usually pulled us together. I picked at the roll of my sandwich as he took several large bites of his.
“Not hungry?” he asked as he shoved more food in his mouth. I shrugged as I watched him devour his food.
“You should really eat something.” He sounded concerned, not his normal bossy self. I picked up my sandwich and began to eat. He smiled at me and took his plate to the sink. I grinned to myself as I took a few more bites. This was going to take some getting used to. I didn’t know if I was capable of just being a friend to him.
My purse began to vibrate on the counter in front of me. I fished around inside and grabbed my phone. It wasn’t mine. I dropped it and dug further. I grabbed William’s phone and glanced at the screen. The caller I.D. read ‘A’. I glared at the phone and hit ignore, dropping it back into my back. I sighed as William turned around. I needed to get away from here as soon as I could.
“Finished?” He gestured towards my plate. I nodded and let him take it to the sink. I hated that I was so mad at him for lying and now I was the one lying to him. I should have handed him the phone. Let him see how he had hurt me. I didn’t. I was a coward.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked as he glanced over his shoulder at me.
“Just been a long week.” I sighed and let my shoulders sag. He rounded the island and put his hands on my shoulders. He began to rub small circles with his thumbs.
“I’m sorry I put you through all of this. I don’t know what I did to deserve your kindness.” He chuckled softly. “I really don’t.”
I laughed and let myself relax. Nothing. He didn’t deserve to have me here right now.
“Come on. Why don’t you show me around.”
I pushed back and stood glancing around the place. “Well, this is the kitchen and the living room.” I made sweeping gesture with my hands. I walked across the floor to the bathroom. “This is self-explanatory.” He was right behind me. I turned around and tried to duck passed him without rubbing against his chest. He smiled as I walked him to another door and pushed it open. “This is your bedroom.” I glanced down at the floor as he walked past me and looked around.
The room was still littered with my belongings. He walked to the foot of the bed and picked up a small scrap of yellow fabric.
I blushed and grabbed my torn panties from his hand, hiding them behind my back. A grin spread across his face and he laughed deep in his chest.
“I guess you know this room pretty well.”
“Who said they were mine?” I raised my eyebrow at him that only made him laugh harder.
“I sure hope they’re not mine,” he joked. I laughed and looked down at the floor. At least in this state he assumed he was a one-woman man. He ran his hands through his hair as he eyed the bed.
“I’m actually pretty tired.” He gripped his T-shirt and pulled it over his head. His chest was rock hard and I had the urge to cross the room and wrap my arms around him but I had to remind myself that things were not the same as they were a week ago. I was still hurting and William still had no idea who I was.
“I’ll let you get some rest.” I turned to leave but his hand caught my wrist, sending my pulse racing into overdrive.
“Stay,” he whispered. I turned slowly to face him. He seemed to take notice of my pulse and released my arm. My heart was broken and if it hadn’t been for the accident I would be miles away right now, cursing his name.
“I just want to sleep,” he reassured me. I bit my lip and his eyes narrowed. For a second I saw the old William. I quickly released it from my teeth as he undid his belt and slid his jeans down.
I slipped off my shoes and began to undo my pants, feeling suddenly shy. He turned to crawl into the bed, giving me some privacy. I opted to leave on my tank and underwear, not wanting to encourage him. I slipped under the covers behind him and turned away from his body. The bed shifted under his weight as he rolled over and wrapped his muscular arms around me. He snuggled his face into my neck and inhaled deeply. His hands never moved and after a few minutes, his breathing grew deeper. I knew he had finally fallen asleep. I need this, I told myself. I deserved a little comfort after what I had gone through recently. I sighed and let my eyes close, giving in to exhaustion.