Dani left Mae’s Grill, went to the lake cabin, wrapped herself in a blanket and sat on the porch until it got dark. She cried that night. She didn’t know if she could stop, but it wasn’t just for her sister. She cried for all of them.
Her mother.
Her grandmother.
Mae.
Even Kathryn.
She cried for Erica. For Julia. For herself.
She cried for everyone. And when she stopped, she was raw and scraped hollow inside, but she cried even more.
Jonah found her like that. Her face was streaked with dried and fresh tears. Her blanket was a sopping mess. She had a Kleenex box beside her, half emptied because she used them all. He took one look at her, tucked his phone into his pocket, and he carried her to bed. She told him a little of what had transpired that day. He knew about Boone, but he hadn’t known about the settlement.
She lifted her head from his chest. “You didn’t know?”
He shook his head. His hand rubbed another tear from her eyelid. “I didn’t. I’m surprised, small town and everything. It must’ve happened before I came back.”
She rested her head to him again. It was time to talk to Julia. She didn’t care about the money, but finding out the reason, she hurt for her sister. Julia must’ve been there. She must’ve held Erica, maybe how Jonah was holding her, as Erica made her choice. Maybe not. It was probably Jake who held her, but did it even matter anymore?
For the first time since she left, Dani regretted leaving. She hadn’t been there for her family when she should’ve been.
She woke the next day with the same decision. It was time to face her ghosts, but she wanted more answers. A second trip to see her grandmother was in order.
The drive didn’t seem as long as her prior visit. Marge was at the front desk, and after one swift glance, she produced the same blank nametag and black marker with a smile. Dani filled it out.
Phyliss stood when she got to the second floor. She regarded her with reluctance “I don’t know if she’s up for a visit. Unfortunately.”
“What do you mean? What’s wrong?”
“She’s pretty weak and down right now. She’s been bedridden for the last three days.”
“Is she sick?”
“She’s not physically sick. It’s part of her mental illness.”
“What does she have?”
Phyliss smiled. “You wouldn’t understand if I just gave you the clinical term, but I can talk in laymen’s terms since she gave us permission to talk with you. Your grandmother gets real sad at times and real happy at other times. You got her on a downward cycle last time, but now she’s fully at the bottom. It might take a while for her to come out of it.”
“I thought there were meds for this stuff.”
“There are.” Phyliss nodded. “But sometimes the meds aren’t enough.”
“What about therapy?”
“Your grandmother won’t do therapy. She says it’s hogwash. Truthfully, I just think your grandmother doesn’t want to talk about stuff that happened in her past.”
Dani accepted it, but she asked anyway, “Can I see her? Just for a little bit?”
“I wouldn’t want to see my grandmother as yours is,” Phyliss advised her. “But, if you’d really like, I could see if she wants to see you.”
Anything. She just wanted to see her again. “That’s fine with me.”
“Okay.”
Dani glanced around. The humming lady had been sitting in the corner when she got off the elevator, but once Phyliss left, she stood and shuffled her way over. Dani held still, stiff, as she poked her arm. She shook her head, hummed, and poked Dani again.
Dani didn’t say a word.
After a third poke, the lady turned and shuffled back to her sitting spot. She shook her head and went back to humming.
“What’s your name?” Dani asked.
The humming stopped, and she gazed over. “Henrietta.”
“What are you humming?”
“I’m not humming,” Henrietta clarified. “I sing in my head.”
“Why don’t you sing out loud?”
“Because they wouldn’t understand.”
“What do you mean?”
“The voices. The angels. They wouldn’t understand.”
“What wouldn’t they understand?”
“The angels are dead, but I’m singing about live folk. I can only sing in my head so that the angels don’t get mad.”
Henrietta glanced down the hallway and went back to humming. The volume rose a notch as Phyliss rounded the corner.
“She said you could come in for five minutes, but that’s all she has in her.” Phyliss nodded, and they both turned down the hallway. Outside of Sandra’s door, Phyliss knocked once and poked her head in. “We’re coming in, Sandra.”
Dani heard a creak and a rustling of bedsheets before she stepped around Phyliss and saw her grandmother. The white hair hung limply off her scalp, and the bedsheets seemed to overcome her grandmother’s pale form. She had a hospital nightgown on, and her eyes were numb.
Dani swallowed.
Phyliss had been watching her, gauging her reaction, so Dani smiled. “Thank you.”
Phyliss nodded and left the room quietly. She gently pulled the door shut behind her.
“You can sit.”
The order came out in a monotone voice. Her personality seemed washed out of her grandmother. Dani missed her already.