“You’re really willing to do this?” I asked, making sure he understood what I was asking. I needed him, but I didn’t want to force him to do anything.
“Yeah,” Blue nodded again. “Doctors take an oath. First do no harm.” He shrugged, as if that explained it all.
We arranged a time to meet early the next morning, before the sun started to rise. Most people would be asleep then, and it would make it easier. I would’ve gone right then, though, if I didn’t know that Tatum needed time to get things together. Assuming he’d even have any part of it.
Telling Tatum was much harder than Blue. In a weird way, Blue and I always seemed to be on the same wavelength about everything. And I was never exactly sure what wavelength Tatum was on.
I caught him just before he went out to make his rounds around the perimeter, part of his penance for standing up for me last night.
I had to tell him the truth about Max, and he got wide eyed, but he didn’t say anything. He trusted and believed me, and I was relieved.
At first, he listened, but as I explained my requests, he got increasingly irritated. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me, and he kept shifting his weight around and crossing and uncrossing his arms. Before I even finished, he started shaking his head no.
“That’s really stupid, Remy.” He chewed the inside of his cheek and stared off at the wall.
“Maybe, but I don’t have a lot of options,” I said honestly. “And I’ll find a way to do this even if you don’t help.”
“There is no way to do this without me,” Tatum pointed out. Without him, it’d be almost impossible for this to work.
“I need you,” I said plaintively, and he finally looked back at me.
“I knew it.” He shook his head. “The second I saw you out in that field, all covered in zombie blood, fighting like a damn maniac. I knew you were trouble.” He sighed resignedly. “Fine. I’ll do it. But I’m going on record as not liking this. It’s my job to protect people, not put them in danger.”
“I know, and I appreciate everything you’re doing for me,” I said earnestly.
“I don’t care if you appreciate it!” Tatum blew it off and looked at me intensely. “Do you understand what you’re doing? I want you to really think about this, Remy. Because I can only help you so much.”
“Yeah, I do,” I nodded.
“Just do me a favor. Think about this, okay?” It was his turn to plead with me, his eyes looking soft. “If you change your mind, nobody would hold it against you.”
“I would,” I corrected him. “I have to do this.”
Reluctantly, he agreed to the same time I had set up with Blue. When I walked away, I heard him complaining to himself about how stupid this all was.
Maybe it was, but I didn’t have anything better, and so far, nobody else had come up with anything at all. The fact that Blue had signed on made me feel a bit better. Tatum probably wouldn’t feel so adverse to it if he didn’t like me. Then again, he probably wouldn’t get involved at all if he didn’t like me.
I spent the day going through the motions. Bishop thought it was time I started pitching in, so I worked in the garden for a few hours. Lazlo was on dishes detail, so I thought I faired a bit better. By the end of the day, I was sore and tired, and grateful for it. It would give me something to take my mind off the morning.
Harlow had already made friends, so after supper, she went off with one of them. I actually kind of hated how nice this quarantine was. I had always been opposed to being fenced in and locked up, but given the circumstances, this was about the best I could hope for in keeping Harlow and Lazlo safe.
I stood at the kitchen sink, scrubbing the dirt out from my under finger nails. Lazlo stood in the middle of room, watching me.
“So… I guess it’s just the two of us.” He smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. They were uncertain and didn’t meet mine, flitting about the room.
“Yep.” I smiled thinly back at him.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty beat. And filthy.” He gestured to his clothes stained with food and dirty water. “I’m gonna go change.”
“All right.”
“Excuse me.” He slid past me, brushing up against me in the narrow walkway of the kitchen, and the brief touch sent flutters through me.
He went back to the bedroom, sliding the pocket door shut behind him, and I turned off the water. Drying my hands with a towel, I looked down at my dirt covered clothing. I’d need to shower and change, too. A minute later, Lazlo came out of the bedroom, shirtless, holding a tee shirt in his hands.
“This has grease all over it.” He walked over to me, but he never looked up from his shirt. “My mom always said you have to wash grease stains right away before they set in. Or at least I think that’s what she said. Maybe grease never comes out.” He chewed his lip, thinking, and his hair cascaded across his forehead. Sadly, he sighed. “God. I really should’ve paid more attention to her.”
I don’t know how to explain it any better than it being a perfect storm. The thoughtful expression on his face made him strangely adorable. His bare chest and arms etched in tattoos made my heart skip a beat.
I remembered the way his kisses tasted, and even though he was standing right in front of me, I suddenly missed him terribly. I liked him far more than I had wanted to admit to myself, and it finally occurred to me that I had to give him up.