Micah frowned, then nodded. “Yeah, Momma. We are. But I like it when Uncle Dewayne is on our team too.”
* * *
Three hours of Monopoly up in the center of my bed, a big bowl of mac ’n’ cheese, and convincing Micah he needed a shower, and I was exhausted. It was bedtime. I had never needed a bedtime more than I did tonight.
Micah knew something was wrong. He kept kissing me and hugging me. I needed all those hugs and kisses, but it made me try harder to keep smiling.
“Momma, why is Uncle Dewayne sitting on a sleeping bag on our front porch? Can I go out there with him? I think he has cookies,” Micah called from the living room.
What? I dropped the towel I was using to dry my hair and walked into the living room. Micah had his face pressed to the window, waving at Dewayne. Who was sitting on a camo-green sleeping bag and eating cookies with a thermos beside him. Had he lost his mind?
“Micah, go to bed. I’ll be in there in a minute to tuck you in. I’m going to see if Uncle Dewayne got confused and thinks y’all are camping out tonight,” I said.
“Aw, man, that would be fun. I want to sleep on the porch.”
I bet he did. “Bed, Micah. Now.”
He hung his head and walked back to his room, looking back longingly at the window. Dewayne could not do this to him. He had to leave. This was messing with Micah’s emotions, and I wouldn’t have it.
DEWAYNE
She was pissed. Well, she could be pissed. I was going to f**king live on this porch if I had to. The woman was going to listen to me. I wasn’t leaving her. I wasn’t letting this shit take her away from me. Not when she was finally mine. I wouldn’t give her up. This life with her was my future. So she could be pissed. I’d wait it out. I had cookies, coffee, and a sleeping bag. Game on.
“What are you doing?” she demanded as she stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind her.
“Staying as close to what’s mine as I can,” I replied.
That affected her. I didn’t miss the flash in her eyes before she shut it away. I was taking anything she gave me. I just wanted her.
“This is messing with Micah’s emotions. He doesn’t understand this. You can’t just do this and not care about how it looks to him.”
One day when he met the woman who would be it for him, who he couldn’t live without, I would remind him of this time and he’d know that you fought for what you wanted. You didn’t let her go. Women were f**king complicated, but the right one turned the shit in life to gold with a simple smile.
And of course a magic pu**y. Probably wouldn’t tell Micah about that, though.
“I reckon I’m teaching him a life lesson,” I replied, setting my thermos down and standing up. “He’ll see that if you love a woman, you fight like hell to hold on to her. And you don’t f**king walk away when things get tough.”
Sienna went so still I was positive she’d stopped breathing. I wasn’t sure what the hell I’d said to put that look on her face, but she wasn’t moving.
“Take a f**king breath, Little Red.” The woman was trying to scare the shit out of me.
She took a deep breath and shook her head, then turned away to look out at the yard. Then back at me, then back at the yard. “You can’t say that,” she finally said after all that fidgeting.
“What can’t I say, baby?” I asked. Watching her flustered reaction was damn cute. If she wasn’t careful, I was going to close this distance she was putting between us.
“You can’t, you just can’t . . . you can’t say that you love me,” she said, putting her small fists on her h*ps and trying to glare at me.
“I reckon I can tell you I love you if I f**king want to. You can kick my ass out of your house. You can be mad at me, and you can make me sleep on this damn porch. But you can’t stop me from telling you that I love you. Every single inch of you. I love your smile, your laugh, the way you light up a room, your kindness, your strength, your stubbornness, your f**king magic pu**y. I love all of it.”
A sob broke free, and then she was crying. Shit!
Screw this space shit. I took three long strides to her and pulled her into my arms. “I tell you I love you and you cry. I ain’t that bad. I got some good qualities. Number one being you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I loved you when you were a girl, and I love you now. Always just loved you.”
She sobbed harder, but this time her hands grabbed my shirt and she held on to me tightly. That was a start.
“I love my brother. But he f**ked up. Everything. He made bad decisions and he didn’t know what he had. That night, the night he was killed, I went to find him. Heard he was drinking and partying, and he had a game the next day. And I found him with her. I got so f**king angry. He had you. Why would he need anyone else? I said things I shouldn’t to a drunk sixteen-year-old boy, and he was coming to you that night because I told him I was telling you. I wasn’t letting him do that to you. He panicked and raced out drunk and got behind the wheel before I could stop him.” I paused and took a deep breath. The tightness in my chest was there again. That night was a nightmare I would live with my entire life.
“I was about five minutes behind him. I was blocked in at the party, and by the time I got my car out, he’d already wrapped his around a tree. I was too late to save him. I wasn’t smart. I got angry and I said things I can’t take back.”
Sienna wasn’t crying anymore. She had gone still and quiet in my arms.
This was the truth. She wanted the truth, and it was ugly. It was something I would never be able to get over. But it was the f**king truth.
“He got behind that wheel. He was the one who got drunk. You didn’t make him do either of those things,” she said, her head tilted back to look up at me.
I knew that, but I also knew he had been too young to make the right decisions. So ultimately it had been my fault. I hadn’t handled it right, and he’d lost his life.
“I loved you then,” I told her again. I needed her to understand. For years I had beat myself up about it. I had f**ked women. Lots of redheads, trying like hell to forget she ever existed. But my world had lit up like a f**king Christmas tree when she’d walked around that corner in those cutoff shorts. Seeing her again—it had been a jolt I hadn’t known I needed. I had just been surviving. Not really living. I was watching my friends live around me, but I wasn’t living. I was getting by. Making it day to day.
Sienna made me want to live again. Micah made me want to live. They were mine, and I wasn’t letting them go.
“I love you,” she said. “I loved you from the moment you found my locker on my first day of high school. I had been so scared and lost. And you’d swooped in and saved the day. I never felt scared when you were around. You made me happy.”
The screen door opened, and Sienna jumped into my arms. We both looked over as Micah stepped outside onto the porch, rubbing his sleepy eyes. “Are we camping out on the porch now?” he asked.
Sienna started laughing, then shook her head. “Not tonight, kiddo. Maybe another night. Tonight we’re sleeping in our comfy beds.”
Micah nodded and looked from Sienna to me, then back to his mother. “Is Uncle Dewayne gonna come inside and sleep too?”
Sienna glanced back up at me. I didn’t want her to make this decision just because she didn’t want to confuse the kid, but right now I would take whatever leverage I could get. I wanted in my woman’s bed.
“Yeah, Uncle Dewayne is coming inside to sleep.”
Micah yawned. “You need to get him a bigger bed,” he said, then turned and walked back inside. “Come tuck me in. I’m sleepy.”
“I’m coming,” Sienna replied.
“Uncle Dewayne too. I want him to tuck me in too,” Micah called out from inside.
“We’re coming,” I said, then winked at Sienna, who just smiled.
Two months later . . .
SIENNA
Because I looked for that girl with the red ponytail to come walking across the street every damn day.
I stopped and picked up the piece of paper on Dewayne’s empty pillow. The words didn’t make sense. He looked for me to come across the street? When? I stood up and stretched. He had left for work early. He’d let me know last night that he had to go to work early this morning. The big condo project that Falco Construction had gotten had a level being completed today. This was important for Dewayne’s future. His father had never gotten jobs like this, but Dewayne was taking the business to the next level. I was so proud of him.
I tucked the little piece of paper with the odd note into the pocket of my wrap and went to the bathroom. I’d call him and ask him about it later. Maybe I’d get it once I had coffee. We had gone to bed kind of late last night. He had been unable to keep his hands off me, and I’d enjoyed it very much.
Another little note was on the mirror. I walked over and pulled it off.
Because those big, lost eyes looked at me with trust and lit up whenever they met mine. What was he doing? This was crazy. I read it again and laughed, then tucked it into my pocket before brushing my teeth and then my hair. I didn’t have to work today. It was Monday, and I was off. I had to get Micah up and ready, but I’d set my alarm so that I got to drink my coffee before I had to wake up my ball of energy.
I slipped my feet into my furry slippers now that the nights were getting cooler and making the hardwood floors cold in the morning. I opened my door quietly and went to the kitchen. The first thing I noticed was another piece of paper like the others beside the coffeepot.
Because hearing you laugh makes everything okay.
So that one was sweet and made more sense. I got it now. He was leaving me notes about why he loved me. The past two months, Dewayne Falco had become Mr. Romantic. Which was something Preston, Marcus, and Rock thought was the funniest thing they’d ever seen. Dewayne took their ribbing with ease, though. He seemed to like it. I wasn’t sure what had happened to him.
Opening the fridge, I reached for the cream only to find another note.
Because you healed me. When no one else could.
I teared up at that one and folded it carefully and added it to the others. That man. I loved him. He didn’t see it, but he had healed me too. He had healed my past pain and my bitterness. I’d been able to let it go. Mother was even coming for a visit next month to stay a few days and meet Micah. Life was short, and I was holding something against her and keeping my son from knowing his grandmother. She wouldn’t always be there. My father lost his chance to know Micah. But my mother was still here and she wanted to know him.
Reaching into the cabinet, I grabbed my favorite cup, and inside was another note. This was like a surprise scavenger hunt. He knew my morning routine so well. Grinning, I picked it up.
Because you’re the most amazing woman and mother I’ve ever known.
The tears were back. Dang it, I was going to be a crying mess by the time I had to wake up Micah. I sniffed and wiped at my face, then tucked the note with the others. I was going to have to put these somewhere special. Keep them.
I walked over and made my coffee, then turned to the sugar, already prepared to find another note. He didn’t let me down. There it was.
Because I can’t imagine a life without you.
I wasn’t going to cry this time. I fought it back and tucked the note away. He was so getting laid when he got home. The really good wild kind he liked, with me bent over the bed. Maybe even a hell of a good bl*w j*b.
I walked over to the table and sat down with my coffee, and just as I pulled out the chair he surprised me again with a note on the seat. I really was predictable in the morning. He even knew which chair to put it on.
Because you and Micah and the other children we will have are my future.
Whoa. Okay. That was . . . wow. I reread it again, then tucked it with the others. We hadn’t talked about kids. Not ours, at least. We had spent a lot of time with his friends and a lot of time cuddled up talking about life. But we didn’t bring up the future a lot. I just knew I wanted him in it. He and Micah were my heart. They filled me up.